HOLD MY FEET TO THE FIRE! ACCOUNTABILITY WEDNESDAY

Accountability Mission: No Mercy and No Excuses

So again today we fight the good fight against the forces of evil excess fat.  Our other option is to be obese for life.  Is that what you want for yourself?  Tell the whole truth and be accountable.   Are you living like you want permanant change for the better?  

Perhaps one day this will all become second nature.  We won't ever fret about it agan because its a part of our being.  For now stay strong, stay motivated, and keep fighting for your health.   

...All are welcome, jump in at anytime.


For reference:
5 Day Pouch Test (5DPT) website http://www.5daypouchtest.com/plan/theplan.html
5 Day Pouch Test Instructions
http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/black_american/3995048/Hold-my-feet-to-the-fire-please-Accountability-Mision/

Protein Train Instructions http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/black_american/3993571/Protein-Train-Educate-me-please/#32309205

Wagon Plan Instructions
http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/black_american/3650242/The-Wagon-Plan-Get-back-on-the-wagon

Overeaters Anonymous
Online Meetings Around the Clock * Information on changing eating behavior 

Protein Sparing Modified Fast (PSMF)
The no op version.  This is version is still severe but far more liberal than the one many pre ops are given.   
http://www.holisticmd.org/downloads/ProteinSparingModifiedFast.pdf

I made all of yeaterday's goals for macro nutrient ratios and calories.  I'm somewhat over my limit for fluids, but I needed it playing catch up on missed work outs.  Vits are on point as well. 

I'm handling my new program ok.  The only down side (if you can call it that) is I'm using more protein powder as opposed to foods.  All I care about is the fat comming off.  For any fellow sci fi geeks out there, I want this to be like on Dr Who.  Remember the episode where the fat literally walks out the door?  Well fat, start walking and keep going. 

How does protein powder play into your low carb eating?   Do you drink it with milk?  If so doesn't milk throw you out of keytosis? 

I want to give my protein powder another try  but I just can't take the taste.   But I figure with my new Revenge and Reunion plan I may need the extra protein.

I have been unable to get into ketosis since July so I'm trying a new aproach.  It includes increasing my fats while keeping very low carb. 

Because of allergies I can't drink milk.  My shakes are made with 16 oz of ice and water.  I use egg white protein which has zero fat and carbs (Healthy'N Fit Nutritionals) and I add a tsp of Enova oil (a blend of soy bean and canola), sf syrup, plain cocoa powder, and baking extracts for flavoring.  Also, I blend shakes smooth then put them in the ice cream maker for a frozen protein treat. 

Whey triggers asthma for me so I can only use it cooked.  I use eggs, flaxseed meal, almond meal, baking powder, baking extracts, sf syrups, cocoa powder etc to make cookies and muffins.  I've found a few decent recipes and I'm still experimenting to get it just right for nutrients, calories, and flavor/ texture.

Finally I'm showing the slightest trace of ketones.  If this is working, I should be in ketosis by the weekend. 

Okay, I'm changing things up...again. I truly do believe in moderation and I have to test the waters. How?

I'm not tracking my calories or logging my food. This is my transfer addiction...seriously. I know that this is now a lifetime commitment BUT I spend 80% of my waking hours surfing the net obsessing about WLS life. Instead of spending quality time with my husband after my son is asleep, I'm tricking off on the internet trying to discover any unturned WLS stones.

I'm kicking up my exercise 100% - Insanity here I come.

I cooked a FABULOUS meal last night. My pouch still doesn't want to eat much but I was able to enjoy chicken sausage filled with asiago cheese and spinach, pasta with homemade FULL fat alfredo sauce, salad and garlic bread. I've stopped posting my diet because I want to know if I could eat "regular" and start enjoying life. I want to eat like a THIN person, not as a WLS patient.

Whew...that felt good to write that.

  Dear Lord, if I ever grow up make me like MsJuanita, please?

That's my ulitimate goal.  Unfortunately, during the years I did not obsess over my weight I went from just overweight to morbidly  obese.  I've been at this since before I started high school and I'm scared to stop again. 

Congatulations girl.  This is a real milestone of self acceptance and positive living. 

I'm really freaking out about rebound. As long as I can "comfortably" fit into my 0/2s I'm not touching the scale. Call me petty, but I love being thin. I'm trying to "think" thin and not act "fat". Does that make sense?

~~Laying down on the couch because I now feel like I'm in therapy~~

During the 70s and 80s my Moms was a diet pill popping, chocolate Ex-Lax eating, exercising trophy wife. I remember when she used to get all dolled up when her and my Pops would go to parties, business functions, weddings and such. I swear she would dress up like a Dreamgirl with her beautiful flowing gowns and long gloves. She snacked on crackers with butter (seriously) and was always girdled up. When she came to her senses that she was doing more harm than good she stopped the crazy dieting. Her weight went up and she became depressed. Watching my Moms cry in the dressing room because the size 12s were too tight was devastating and I vowed that that would never happen to me. My Pops didn't give a flying fart about her weight, but he had expectations that she keep up her "appearance". She eventually evolved into the full figured DIVA (she's a 16 on most days) that she is today and she's comfortable....and finally has accepted herself.

Me....not so much. I still have a long way to go to undo (if that's ever possible) the clusterfukk thinking that I called dieting. Back in the day I exercised until I passed out, binged, purged, popped diet pills...anything not to gain weight. THEN I started to date men that preferred women who were thicker and I let myself go. What man wants a bone, huh? Yeah, I believed that **** and what happened? I was dumped for skinnier/bigger women and my psyche was ****** with no vaseline. I just couldn't win.

I've now accepted that I'm doing this for me **** being the trophy wife that I once wanted to be **** being the MILF **** being the smallest woman in the room. It's a hard journey, but I know I will make it!

~~Getting off the couch and going to the  because I just shared waaayyyy too much information~~

Girl I am so glad you shared that.  Each of us needs to understand WHY we relate to our bodies/ food/ obesity the way we do.  Few of us can articulate this so well because we only have a vague notion. 

An understanding is how we begin to find resolution.  That's the part wls can't fix. 

I hate yall skinny *****es,  but I feel from winst you speaketh.  

I have a screwed up head just like you guys do and we all know that.  I just happend to be 10 sizes larger than yall, but the fact still remains we all got some dam head issues and WLS did not cure them.

Size 0, 2, 4, or 16/18,  in my dam case doesn't matter.  Tight is dam tight and when you feel those jeans getting tight it ***** up your mind big time. 

So yes I hate your skinny asses, but I totally understand your plight, cause I share it, just on a bigger scale.    lol,  on a bigger scale.    (I made a funny)

  @ just on a bigger scale

You're too funny girl but so right.  For once in my life I want to feel like I'm not that fat Black girl of my childhood.  SMH.