Male grooming tip #43: Da nose knows, Yo

Ayy yo,

Fellas, have you ever walked into a club or party knowing that you're looking fresh-ta-death, cleaner than the board of health, running into and hugging old friends, homies, and bruhs that you haven't seen in a while only to come away smelling like you've been mugged by sweaty Sumo-wrestlers-turned cologne salesman.  You ain't want to say nothing at the time but some of your boys obviously had their azzes on fire and doused out  the flames in whatever they heard was new and on sale at the local flea market or swap meet.  Now you have all of your partner's colognes, parfums, Oh-da-toile****ers, and fray-grants all over that new $79 suit you just bought and you know it's gotta go straight to the dry cleaners come first thing Monday morning?  Sheesh. 

Sistas, have you been out with a guy on a date to the movies or watching a flick at home on the sofa with him and as you snuggle up to get closer he puts his arm around you all lovingly, then you quickly realize that you can tell exactly which kind of burned up deodarant (or lack thereof - let's keep it real) that this brotha has on and no other scent besides perspiration?  You know you're pissed because you at least had the decency to shower and put on your smell-goods before your time together alone and this beautiful bastid sitting here ain't even splash on some of his father's vintage Hi-karate or nothing to let you whiff on.
 
That brings me to today's tip for the homies.  Plain and simple: a brotha needs to have a signature scent.  Yeah, yeah... As a man, I know I can't tell women what kinda scents on a man turns a woman on (la la la...  nyah, nyah, nyah...) and I don't want to try and do that.  But as a man I can guarantee. you brothas. that I know for a fact that a good smelling man can do some really bad things to a woman's xes-ual imagination.  Now add that plus a signature scent and you'll fugg around and create stalkers trying to get at you, Pimpin.

"But Double_Ayy?" you ask.  "What is a signature scent and how do I get one?"  A signature scent is merely the cologne or smell that you use from day to day the helps to denote you and your style.  Now that you've had WLS like me and you're starting to see some extra money in your bank account at the end of the month like stock return dividends paying off from not having to buy any Little Debbie's Snack Cakes, Entenmann's cookies, potato chips, KFC three/four times a week and other severe junk foods, you grab your girl (not your sister, not your mom, and not your kissing girl cousin) and you trot right on down to the fragrance counter at Lord & Taylor, MACY*s, or JCPenny and try out a few aromas pour homme (for men).  Don't cheat and go to those "fragrance outlets" in the mall run by folks who don't even want to invest in a proper shirt and slacks to sell you stuff.  Those dayum discounted bottles of expired flavored alcohol will eventually burn a hole in your azz or have you looking for medicinal treatment for a self-induced rash on your neck and your chest.  Trust and believe, Homie.  Trust and believe. 

But I digress...

Don't be cheap.  Take the time and spend the money.  Let your woman sample some "essence of new you" and then try a few of them on yourself.  Once you find the one that makes her go, "Oh yeah.  I liiiike this...," complete the sale for the cologne and the aftershave, Playa.  Go and sin no more.  Use it after toweling off out of the shower.  (Ninja, now I know your big azz ain't still climbing into the tub taking baths at your age.  C'mon, Yo...)  Use only the cologne and don't try and lotion down in it when applying.  A little goes a long way so spritz it.  You'll want to use just enough so that when she leans in close she'll be glad you came over, took her out, or just stopped by.  Hit the hot zones when spritzing (chest, abs, throat, etc...) and places that you want to be kissed (figure it out, Ninja).  Save the aftershave for later.  Much later. 

Now let's say you come home from work in your shirt and tie and have a dinner engagement or church meeting to go to right away.  Whip out the matching aftershave that you purchased that day and apply a liberal splash amount to the chin and beard area.  Wipe the excess on your forearms and keep it movin'.  Don't touch the cologne bottle at all at this point.  This way when you sweat it will heat up the aroma of your signature scent and you won't smell all hot, funky, and musky, like one of your boys at that party that I mentioned earlier.  And, as an added bonus, your woman will probably sleep in one of your signature scented t-shirts when you go out of town on a business trip or when you to go see Mama 'n dem. 

When trying to look your best its very important that you try to smell your best as well.  Why?  Because who the heyll wants to be all hot and bothered with a brotha who won't even bother to try and smell like he's trying to get a woman all hot and bothered.  As always my feeling on it is "It's better to be overdressed than to be under dressed because you'll have to make less excuses that way;" and you're not really looking good if you don't smell good.

Peace.

I will agree with you...we were walking out of the store yesterday and I leaned into my BF and said "You smell so good and your body is radiating an alluring scent and it is intoxicating...you should have seen the big smile on his face.  It does work both ways for the men and the women.  Another good one is the fresh out the shower scent...okay let me stop now...

Yep.  See....

Bravo Bellisimo Bravo

Thanks for the love, Luv.  I know you wanted me to do hands and feet next but the spirit moved me in this direction.  Let the church say, "Amen."

Yes we ladies do appreciate a well groomed and nicely scented brother. 

@ A little goes a long way   A much needed reminder. 
Only those immediately near to you should catch your scent.  It should never arrive ahead of you or hang around long after you've left. 

Some guys will go through the trouble to dress up to go out and smell like they just came from lifting weights at the gym and cleaning horse stables, wrapped up in a virtual cloud of cologne.

When a man walks by me in store, in an elevator, passes me on the street... and he smells so good, manly, sexy and clean..whew...it has been known to make me break out in a glisten!  I agree, nothing like a good smelling man!

Yep.  See...  It's the little things.  The small attention to details that matter right?

TOTALLY! Its in the little things...like...I love when a mans facial hair is trimmed perfectly. I love a man who takes care of his skin and his feet. I love a man with nice healthy teeth and soft lips. I love a mans hands, big, strong, clean and smooth with thick fingers. I love the veins running through his thumb and into his arms with nicely manicured nails. I love when a man carries himself well, with a powerful countenance. I love to watch him walk!! I love when a man loosens his tie and slides his suit jacket off. I love to watch him engrossed in his work, eat a good meal, have a hearty laugh and holding his child in his arms.  Yep..all the little things that makes us want you and love you!!