and the Devil got bored in Hollywood...

Ayy yo,

I'm not a big fan of reality TV shows mind you.  Never have been; don't think that I'll ever be.  Nor am I a fan of anything on television these days with a very low production budget or devoid of any artistic value.  C'mon, I spent close to $1200 for my flat screen tv and the most you can give me to watch is some fool eating foul and disgusting things in various poverty stricken countries around the world or some idiot with an ax showing you how to demolish a house.    Heyll I can't even stand the fact that national television news outlets feel compelled to rely on video clips "sent in by viewers" nowadays because they've somehow gotten it twisted that their job isn't to report what happened in the world around us but more or less try to make us feel as if we, the viewing public, have to see a snippet or clip of something or else deem that it didn't happen.

But I digress...

Last night I caught a glimpse of Dancing with the Stars and even though I was not impressed at all by any of the lack of talent displayed by the F-list "celebrities" that they had, I was happy to see and hear them boo "Grandma Pistol Packin' Palin" when one of the show's host tried to interview her in the audience.  I tell ya it warmed the ****les of my heart to see that she's not as accepted everywhere like Visa or Master Card the way she has lead herself to believe.  And Bristol Palin is a star now?   What sitcom or drama is she regularly on?  When's her CD coming out?  Where can I get a link to her xes-tape?  I didn't know working for a dermatologist, driving a pickup truck, and having a baby with your on-again/off again racist outdoorsman Alaskan babydaddy made you a star, but I guess if it works for the ratings then we must suspend belief and say she's a star.  In all honesty I can't be too hard on her because just seeing her bounce and jiggle around on that dance floor like she's having a mini-epileptic seizure or a mild alcohol induced stroke to music, I can rest assured of two things - she's got atleast three to four hooks on her bra strap and she looks like she needs to go pump out some mommy juice for Lil' Trig backstage.  Go Bristol I like what I'm seeing so far.

As for the other babymamma in the DWTS lineup, Brandy, I guess it's true what they say - just because you can carry a tune doesn't mean you can dance a lick.  The more I watched her strut around and try to bring some sassiness to the competition I kept thinking to myself, "when she finally loses this thing those two giant marbles in her head are gonna hit the floor hard followed by a trail of tears and snot a mile long."  She knows she can't take any real pressure and something as trivial as being voted off of DWTS would probably make her, in the words of singer Sean Kingston, "Sue-weh Side-al, Sue-weh Side-al..." again. 

That kid who plays Cory, from "Cory in the House," Kyle Massey is just too dayum goofy to be on the show to me.  If he had played his cards right he could've probably been banging his dance partner like a screen door in a hurricane.  But, alas, he's a bonafide Disney kid at heart who comes off like he still wants to hit girls and run or play the "you got da cooties" game with them.  I'll bet that ain't a problem for Rick Fox though.  Noooooooo...  That dude's probably gettin' so much action around that set until the cameramen and lighting techs are clinching up tight and stepping out of his way when he waltzes by.

Not that I'm going to watch it anymore, ever, I can still tell you who is most likely going to win this thing this year.  It's either got to be Florence Henderson, who incidentally was born the same year that they invented ballroom dancing: Jennifer Grey, who actually has some real dancing experience from the movie Dirty Dancing, or The Situation.  Why The Situation, who has two-left feet on both his hands and his feet, you ask?!  Because honestly I think all 3 of the judges want him to show them what the situation is really all about if you know what I mean.

Dayum I miss Happy Days!