Male grooming tip #22 - Da too-phis!

Ayy yo,

Erry now and den I try and put the brothas up on game about hygene and stuff, cause if we don't look out for one another, well...  you get the picture.  So let's just move on...

Today's helpful hint involves a ninja's grille, which by the way can feel, look, and smell a lot better if a little more attention is paid to it.  Check it, before you katz brush your chompers, fellas, grab a capful of whitening pre-rinse.  You can score some from the national pharmacies in your area or at the local dollar stores if you have to go cheap.  Pop a capful of that stuff into your mouth and aggressively swi**** around for the duration of your shower.  Next, and I have to thank my Aunt Hattie for this one, brush your teeth with a little bit of baking soda.  Yes, baking soda.  I know right?!  Trust me, Yo.  Skip those over-priced pastes and gels that are on the market out there.  Baking soda is a natural solution to polishing up your grub grinders and it's mad cheap - only $.50 in most grocery stores for a box of it.  After brushing, rinse with a generous amount of cold water so that you won't get that pasted white ring around your mouth that makes you look like you've been sucking on a lollipop made with crime scene chalk.  Finally, and this makes all of the diffence in the world to me, rinse again and gargle with a flouride-based mentholated teeth whitening rinse.  Ahhh, I'm telling you, that stuff will have your taste buds singing like the Boys Choir of Harlem.  

Now ladies, I know you're probably thinking to yourself, "I knew about the baking soda thing but I don't like the taste and I know HE ain't gonna like it..."  or "How can I get my SO to try any of this?"  First of all, I'm suggesting that he uses it to brush not to eat.  A small amount will do.  As for getting him to try it, it's quite simple, ween him off of what he's currently using now by going half baking soda and half toothpaste on the brush for about a week.  Think about it, some toothpaste brands put baking soda right into the toothpaste now because they know what's up.  But you really want him to get the abrasive action that pure baking soda provides to help power out those coffee, tea, and cigarette stains, not to mention the plaque build up that causes all sorts of smile issues and defects.

Now I know most men don't really want to take the time to groom and prep a lot when they're in the bathroom, and get this - some guys will even clown anotha brotha that does.  Ain't that some ****  They'll say things like, "Man, dat ninja be taking like a whole hour to get ready and that's just in the bathroom..."  My response to that is it's better to be overdressed than to be under dressed because you'll have to make less excuses that way.  So take the time to dress up your mouth too.  Remember if you take care of your teeth, then your teeth will take care of you.

Peace!        

As a woman, I appreciate that you do this!!  For those men reading this, I must say...there is NOTHING sexier than a well groomed, good smellin', nicely put together man.  I kid you not!! There is just something about passing a grown, sexy man who smells so good and is all clean and pressed in a hallway or elevator!!! Mmmmm...enough to give a girl the vapors!!  (She breaks out the church fan)!!!! 

                      
                                  Hello, Ebesneezer Church of the Holy Rebates?!  Uh hi...  Listen I think one of your faithful members is probably stealing your church fans and using them in crowded hallways and elevators.  You might want to do a quick inventory of the good ones and not those ratty torn ones that Sis. Mamie is good for passing out to people who've been there before.  Just thought you'd want to know... 

I didnt know about the mouth wash but I do brush with baking soda. Thanks sir!

No problem, Dude.

Got to give it up to you for even acknowledging the tip! Most brotha's read it and act like they dont need it.

  Thank you for schooling these pathetic brothers.  Its sad that grown men need to be taught what they should have learned before high school. 

Perhaps they did learn it at the age but I know that peer-pressure thing kicks in really strong for us guys and the next thing you know you've got a room full of funky brothas because the cool kids back in the day had an aversion to grooming properly.