I need your opinion.....sorry, kinda long

Good Morning BAF! 

I have a bit of a dilemma that I want to get your feedback on.

 I've been seeing this guy for a little more than 9 months.  He's a couple years younger than me and I like him a lot.  We have a lot in common, both like to party and we have a lot of fun together.  I feel like I can be myself with him and I really feel that he likes and cares about me too.  The downside is he's not financially stable and he is a bit too sensitive at times.  What I mean by that is....his feelings get hurt whenever we disagree or argue about stuff.  As soon as I raise my voice he immediately gets all bent out of shape like I've commit ed the worse crime in the world.  This doesn't happen often, but when it does, it irks the hell out of me.

Right before I started seeing him, I was dating this other guy off and on.  We've known each other since kindergarten and all through school he had a crush on me.  I didn't have the same feelings for him back then...but for the past few years, that has changed,  I like him but not as much as I like guy #1 .  He is set very well financially and is very caring.  The downside with him...he isn't fun.  He doesn't go out much because he works a lot.  I don't have half as much fun with him as I do with guy #1.  We still talk, but don't go out because I am dating guy #1.  Lately he has started to show more interest...telling me he loves me and asking stuff out-of-the-blue like: Would you ever consider re-marrying.  We stopped seeing each other because to me, we were kinda drifting apart and the relationship didn't seem to be going anywhere.  He felt I still had too much party in me and that I wasn't ready to settle down.

OK, so now I'm kinda torn between the two.  I'm not the type to date two guys at once and both have good hearts and very caring.

As most of you know, I've been divorced for over 20 yrs and didn't think I would ever find someone I trusted enough to settle down with.  Guy #1 hasn't gotten to the point of considering marriage or anything, but guy #2 is now ready to start things back up and he definitely has marriage on his mind.

<-------- That's me wondering which guy is best for me.  Of course I don't expect you all to actually make up my mind for me....I just wanted a little input. 

If nothing else, I know my BAF family will give it to me straight.  LOL

Thanks BAF 

I have to be honest guy number two sounds better for you in the long run.  If he loves you he will accept that you are a fun person and hopefully start participating. Guy #1 sound like in the moment fun but nothing will come of it. I hope it all works out for you.

Hi Kim,

Choosing men wisely can sometimes be confusing, I've been in a similar dilemma, you seem to enjoy #1 a bit more, he is fun and younger and outgoing, but he miss a very important quality! He is not financial stable and he appears a bit more in-mature than guy #2.

I''ve learned the hard way to go with a guy that is a bit more mature, hardworking marriage minded and stable. Guy #1 seems to be a type of guy you'd just want to "kick it with" and just have fun, but you need to concentrate on your long term goals and aspirations and pick a guy that is good for YOU and will be there for YOU in the long haul through thick and thin and guy #2 seems to fit that criteria.

Men can be changed, so if guy #2 is a bit more laid back and not that fun to hang out with perhaps you can work on that, if he is a bit set in his ways and older you probably need to do all the planning and make life a bit fun for you guys, some men just need a bit of a push, you can still MOLD a guy into what you like, I am currently doing that right now for my fiancee.

Good luck sweetie and I hope it works out for you!

 

**BIG RED FLAG ALERT***

Kim!!!!  BEWARE of the 'mold a guy' suggestion...... men are not cheese - mold should NOT be something required of you with a mofo!!!!! Also be wary of the term 'grow on' - any terms that are also used to refer to fungus, infections or other maladies should NOT be referred to when speaking of a relationship.........

LOL!!!

Nana over there with a WHITE dude - I don't know that much bout them.... but NINJAS can't be molded - especially OLD NINJAS....... so senor old and crochety is gonna STAY a stick in the mud and gonna see you as the good time girl no matter what you try to pull or push him into.

Now, if you wanna go to the other side - you might could turn Ted Nugent into Bon Jovi - I just ain't never seen Al Sharpton turn into Tyrese.......

.....dats all I'm sayin.....

NINJAS can't be molded - especially OLD NINJAS....


Sheeeeeeeeeee-it!  You ain't lyin'.  Fo' real, fo' real...

Mack you got me dying laughing over here....NINJAS can't be molded..., well...men ARE men regardless what color,  I've had a few NINIJAS in my life so they can be molded but with caution

The downside is he's not financially stable and he is a bit too sensitive at times.  What I mean by that is....his feelings get hurt whenever we disagree or argue about stuff


Guy #1 = Broke, immature, to dam sensitive   (Hell no, give him his moma tit and put a dryer behind his ears)


 I like him but not as much as I like guy #1 .  He is set very well financially and is very caring.  The downside with him...he isn't fun.  He doesn't go out much because he works a lot.  I don't have half as much fun with him as I do with guy #1.

Guy #2 = You ain't digging on him hard, Boring, No dam fun, Workaholic  (If you can deal with being bored with cash in yo pocket he may be a good choice) 


Sounds like I would keep dating. 

Hi KB,

Dang!  This post is like taking the SAT exam all over again.  "If guy #1 buys three apples but doesn't share with guy #2, who is already full and has 6 oranges..."

j/k

My romantic view:

The way I see it we are all creatures of habit, with that said if guy #1 is outgoing and fun, chances are he'll stay that way.  He may be broke as heyl, but you'll get your chuckle and party on no doubt.  If guy #2 is a bit of a "stick in the mud" then chances are he'll stay that way and it won't be long before being with him will lead you to missing your days with guy #1.  The flipping out thing over you raising your voice 'n stuff from time to time is annoying and can be worked on (not totally changed mind you but worked on) and it will give you a sense of accomplishment and him a sense of a closer connection with you when you two work on it together.

My practical view:

 In dis economy...  Dis economy right here...  Dis economy ain't no joke and in the immortal words of my very own sister, "Only you kno yo' bills, gurrl..."  Tell "Brokey da Clown" to kick rocks and gon' head and move on up like The Jeffersons. 

Sike.  Follow your heart, Yo.  Love the one that you love and run with that.

D_A when are you going to get your own comedy gig? You are a serious fool Dying laughing at this comment.  "Brokey da Clown"

 Dis economy right here...  Dis economy right here ain't no joke and in the immortal words of my very own sister, "Only you kno yo' bills, gurrl..."  Tell "Brokey da Clown" to kick rocks and gon' head and move on up like The Jeffersons. 

Thanks for the love, Luv.  Nah comedy ain't for me.  That's too much like steady work and I'm trying hard to just hit the lottery really big so that I can abandon all hopes of retiring from I what I currently do ASAP.