OT: Have you adjustedd your standards
I think that I am in a unique position to answer this question because I am going through such a MAJOR shift of life and lifestyle whi*****ludes my standards and prioritizes. I was married for 20 years to someone who was not healthy nor were we equally yoked. Those differences grew more and more apparent and more and more important to me with each passing year.
Our marriage is newly ended and as I go forward, I realize just how much wiser I am but how much more cautious I am as well, yet I am more settled and confident than I have ever been. (Side note here) wanted to say that what looks like naivete is not at all, it's a good heart that thinks the best in people. I refuse to become hardened and hateful. Trust me, with all that is around me that would have been easy to do, but then who would benefit from another hateful person in the world? But tell me, who would benefit from a loving one?
Who I am and what I need has changed so much but greater than this is what HASN'T CHANGED about me. I've realized that I never honored meeting those needs. I sold out. I settled for less than what I was worth and stayed far too long in an unhappy and unhealthy marriage. I will never do that again. I let my soul grow bone dry and because of that, became so emotionally hungry that I let myself traverse into areas that were unhealthy and tried to fill the emptiness with other things such as food. I will not do the same with men.
Now as I go forward, it's about honoring me. My standards for a mate really are built on Godly principles and I won't go into "the list" (no,no not that again please) but I will say, that the most important thing is reaching into a deeper place in me and learning to simply LOVE BETTER and more and from a Godly perspective which is teaching me love a mate better. I am learning to develop the fruits of the spirit and to walk in love. We know the tree by it's fruit so, if I am walking in love, then you see God within me and that is beautiful fruit indeed.
When I say it's not enough to have your game right ( good job, good credit, look good, talk good, smell good. Ya know..the regulars) what I mean is, its got to be more about the entangle things of life and things that are the most difficult to cultivate within ourselves. They require taking a risk and opening up. They require growing in broken areas and that is always painful. It's about learning to give that agape love.
So now as I step forward, I am becoming a better, more loving, more caring, more confident, more spiritually mature, more peaceful, happier, healthier me and within that, I am trusting God to do the rest. Yes my standards for myself have changed and I require more from me. If I am blessed with a man in my life, I'm leaving the choosing up to God.
Our marriage is newly ended and as I go forward, I realize just how much wiser I am but how much more cautious I am as well, yet I am more settled and confident than I have ever been. (Side note here) wanted to say that what looks like naivete is not at all, it's a good heart that thinks the best in people. I refuse to become hardened and hateful. Trust me, with all that is around me that would have been easy to do, but then who would benefit from another hateful person in the world? But tell me, who would benefit from a loving one?
Who I am and what I need has changed so much but greater than this is what HASN'T CHANGED about me. I've realized that I never honored meeting those needs. I sold out. I settled for less than what I was worth and stayed far too long in an unhappy and unhealthy marriage. I will never do that again. I let my soul grow bone dry and because of that, became so emotionally hungry that I let myself traverse into areas that were unhealthy and tried to fill the emptiness with other things such as food. I will not do the same with men.
Now as I go forward, it's about honoring me. My standards for a mate really are built on Godly principles and I won't go into "the list" (no,no not that again please) but I will say, that the most important thing is reaching into a deeper place in me and learning to simply LOVE BETTER and more and from a Godly perspective which is teaching me love a mate better. I am learning to develop the fruits of the spirit and to walk in love. We know the tree by it's fruit so, if I am walking in love, then you see God within me and that is beautiful fruit indeed.
When I say it's not enough to have your game right ( good job, good credit, look good, talk good, smell good. Ya know..the regulars) what I mean is, its got to be more about the entangle things of life and things that are the most difficult to cultivate within ourselves. They require taking a risk and opening up. They require growing in broken areas and that is always painful. It's about learning to give that agape love.
So now as I step forward, I am becoming a better, more loving, more caring, more confident, more spiritually mature, more peaceful, happier, healthier me and within that, I am trusting God to do the rest. Yes my standards for myself have changed and I require more from me. If I am blessed with a man in my life, I'm leaving the choosing up to God.
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