Alright - am I crazy?

 Hold the jokes - I know I left that one laying on the floor. 

I've been obsessing about my body - well - who hasn't?  That what the forum is for, right?

HOWEVER

I've gone up to 208lbs and I've seriously thought crack might be my last diet option.  BUT - I decided to dig thru my blog to find my measurements.  This is what I found and made a note of.

On 1/11/09 - I weighed 190lbs  my measurements were:
neck: 13.25
chest: 35
waist: 42
hips: 43
thigh: 22
calf: 15.75

Today, I weigh 208lbs and my measurements are:
neck: 13.5
chest: 36.5
Waist: 40
Hips: 44.5
thigh: 24
calf: 15.75

18lbs difference - Does this make sense to YOU???  I'm trippin!!!!!  Mofos keep telling me I am body dysmorphic in the head.  Can 18lbs really not make that much of a difference????

Now - just to be fair to explain for those who don't know - starting in Dec of 09 to date, I have been in the gym 3xs a week, have ramped thru weight training to the point I can lift a good amount - and recently started running training - I can do 2 miles in about 30 min - with about 3 to 4 fast walk intervals of 2min each. 

I don't want to say over 200 is okay - I want to say over 200 is HOG HEAVEN - but now I'm thinking I just MAY really be trippin!!!!!

Girlfriend I go around and around and then back about my weight what I want, how I want it etc.  I've been dancing from (lowest) 195 to recent 210 for damn near a year.  **** the plastic surgeon took off 15lbs which got me to that 195 from 210 and I still bounced up.

NOW for me it's about size.  I just got my thighs done and it looks like I may go from my some 12s - 16s to 10-12 depending on where I end up.  I'm currently in mostly loose 14s and I've got KLUMP legs with all the swelling and weighing about 210...SO (hmmm where was I going with this)

Oh yeah my goal was 10-12 on the bottom and that will be where I end up.  I believe I'll be weighing about 190-195 (I think).

It's hard but go for size and look more then that number on the scale.  Just so you know I'm talking to myself as well.  Have a GREAT Saturday evening!!

Ms Shell

 thanks Shell - I am still wearing the same clothes - my shape is definitely different - I like the thickness of my thighs (don't want to go to far up tho) 

BUT

I also don't want to break 210.  That's the 'break point' - no matter what.  Even if I could run a marathon without sweating.  210 is the 'Ghandi line'.  I'll sit out the gym for a month if it meant backing down from that. 

Crazy that I'm so jacked in the head I would do that, huh?  WLS is not for the faint at heart! 

Girlfriend I'd have my Ghandi like pose in the steam room right along your ass so no I completely understand the BREAKING point!!

WLS ain't for the faint BUT we always have that "tool" willing and waiting for us to work it!!

Ms Shell

    Yes you did lay that one on the floor.  But, my addle mind does not have the wit to go up against Ms#1MM's silver tongued keyboard's acerbic wit.   

I too am plagued by body dysmorphia.  I think it will always be a part of most of us.  But exercise is why your measurements have not grown although you weigh more.  I'm convinced that despite my high weight being 285 lbs, I never wore more than a loose 20w because I worked out regularly.

Folks that work out are more compact.  We're heavier than we look because we've got more muscle.  You weigh more but you occupy less space.

We both need to stop thinking and enjoy being fit and firm and so much smaller.  Of course I will continue to analyze the **** out of everything, lol. 

 

 You so silly - I KNEW there would be a few, two or three mofos that would just LOVE to get at me with the crazy comment....... LOL!

I still hate that I weigh more.  I'm going to switch up and do 20min of weight training before my 30min runs this week.  I can't not do weights - and even though I LOVED the runs I did last week - I missed my weights!!!!!  And I am too damn old to exercise 5 days a week - I need my rest days like I need air!  Coming up on 35 and realizing I gotta sit down somewhere every so often is a bummer. 

Oh well - I'm looking forward to this week - I want to keep my 10min jog intervals and get smoother at my 30min run time.  Then the week after that, I will go for 35min 

  That's enough of you younger folks talking about getting old.  If pushing 35 is old where does that leave me?    I've started planning my 50th celebration. 

yeah, "coming up on 35" might be enuf to make me slit my wrists. or someone's. I too am toying with 18 pound weight gain since Hurricane Ike.....I GOT to get rid of this. I feel like I am bloated and out of control.. Dysmorphic? Maybe. Miserable at this weight? Definitely. Glad to be on the right side of the dirt--ABSOLUTELY.

 Quiller!!!!!!  heeeeyyyyyy lady!  how you been?????

18lbs huh?  so you feel me!  lemme ask you this - are you wearing a different size than 18lbs ago? and are you still at VW? lol