Psychology 101--I am not perfect- let's talk

I know that it is late, but I am just wide awake... So thinking over my past, I am the one that fixes everything for everybody... such a big job that it leaves me filling empty sometimes. I am a mother, friend, daughter, sister, niece etc.. Everyone calls me to talk through their problems and they end all calls with feeling like they have the answers whether I am straight forward or soft in my answers or not, they feel like I helped them..Well I just realized tonight that my go to people are all of you here at OH. I am so glad you are all here to listen to me or just let me babble on and on; It gives me this since that I don't have to be perfect when all I want to do is just talk about how I am dealing and not have to be fixing someone's problems. I just really wanted to tell you all THANK YOU!

Bridgett, I don't think you and I have ever spoken, but I can so relate to what you are saying. I have been apart of OH for 5 years now I believe and so many people and some very, very special people as well, have helped me more than I can say. When you are filling so many roles, wife, mom, employee, friend, sister, daughter..etc,etc..we often forget ourselves and it is so nice to have someone who has walked in our shoes and feels our pain to share the burden with. BAF/OH is family. We fight like family, we bicker like family, we help each other like family, we support each other like family, we come to the defense of each other like family and we love each other...like family.

Hey Bridgett,

I just saw your post! Just take a deep breath and relax! It's OK to feel overwhelmed you just had a major surgery and I am sure your hormonal and emotional levels are spiking and you need somewhere to vent or just talk about things that you normally would not while around family or friends. Also a lot of obese black women have always been the "go to" person in their families, they've had to be mom, dad, sister, brother and who know what else, but you have made a decision to better your health and look hot too and that may be a direct threat to your family they may feel they may lose you to becoming your own person, but never lose touch with your family and friends but remember when it's all said and done you GOT TO BE HAPPY and live your own life.

You know a few years ago these forums used be very friendly and supportive and OH used to be a "safe haven" to talk freely about anything, Amy Williams used to monitor the boards to keep mean spirited women at bay, but they are all over now and a lot of people have left OH for that reason, but I think if we keep it to the main focus about support and better health and well being and even a should to cry on sometimes, we all need that now and you've come to the right place sending you a big cyber hug  .

Thank you all so much for your kind words, I find it very hard talking over with my family, the fears of not succeeding and being afraid of doing the wrong things. My last two years have been so jammed packed with life stuff, such as a new baby, separation from my non supportive husband, my mother got sick, etc. I was a backbone to everyone.My family is trying to be supportive, I will let them through education and try to improve my emotional communication much better. I reflected over my past and realized when I had my first weight loss surgery in 2001 (VBG) I did not tell anyone at all, because of fear of the wrath of being judged; now I have made a pact, to be true to me and be proud of my decision this time around no matter what. MUCH LOVE TO YOU ALL!

I love OH and BAF especially......I find most people very frienly and supportive and for the others I   have learned to just pray . People  like Nana and meso have already done soooo much for me.....there are others ....just keep coming you will find what you need !