Me and Mrs Jones....
I just had to share this with you. A topic to ponder....A few months ago an old boyfriend found me on FB. When our brief relationship ended years ago, it was excruciating for me. It took me a while to get over. After I had revisited every moment we ever had together, replayed every conversation we ever had and examined every move I ever made in our relationship under a microscope to find some reason, some purpose for it happening at all, I was left believing that he never really loved me or found me attractive and honestly, I thought that he didn't even remember my name. Considering that he is a die hard, hard core player and is a collector of women, that was entirely possible, even probable.
Because I had remained friends with his family since then, his brother once told me that even several years after our relationship ended, my ex still had trinkets and mementos around his new home that I had bought him years before. That in the top of a closet was a box filled with my pictures and letters. Why would a player keep those? To me, they were merely trophies to him and an ego stroke of what some "stupid" woman once did for him.
So when he found me, I had to ask why. In speaking with him, I found out that I was...wrong. (I know, call CNN). He explained that he truly cared for me more than I knew and he always would, thus the pictures in the box and the trinkets in his home. I explained what impression I was left with and how much I hurt I felt over it. Mostly in the end, I was better for knowing him because I grew as a person. The hurt pushed me forward and I learned so much about myself in the process. Through this conversation, whatever left over past hurts for me were healed and even if he was lying, it didn't matter. It healed me. It was a blessing. We haven't spoken often, which is good but what was said was important.
He is married now and has a beautiful little girl, however a leopard does not change his spots. He has cheated on his wife numerous times. She has found phone numbers and emails, you name it. NOW THIS IS WHERE IT GETS INTERESTING...Yesterday, out of the blue sky I received a message from her on FB warning me to stay away from her husband. I was like...what??? She found some old message from months ago from him to me ( not to mention that damn box of pictures he has in his closet, which I'm sure are ashes now) so she knew who I was and she assumed we were doin' the do. I explained to her that was not the case, at least not with me. I gave her the history and let her know my position...but since they opened the door to their lives I took full advantage and wrote them both a three paged letter about what real marriage is and getting some help to heal it. I was brutal and layed out in real, true facts.
She blames the women he attracts MORE than she holds him accountable and though I do, very much believe that anyone who involves themselves with a married person, when they know that person is married, is equally accountable...but this is what I said to her...its the fishermen who finds the fish, not the fish who find the fishermen. He's out there fishing. Now that's not to say that some fish won't try to jump in the boat, but ultimately he is in control.
Lastly, I said I know that he has apologized countless times, but all the apologies do not equal repentance. Repentance requires a change in mindset, behavior and actions. Repentance without change is NOT repentance....it's admission.
I blessed their journey and left them in their marital mess and took a moment to thank God that I wasn't his wife...I dodged that bullet.
Because I had remained friends with his family since then, his brother once told me that even several years after our relationship ended, my ex still had trinkets and mementos around his new home that I had bought him years before. That in the top of a closet was a box filled with my pictures and letters. Why would a player keep those? To me, they were merely trophies to him and an ego stroke of what some "stupid" woman once did for him.
So when he found me, I had to ask why. In speaking with him, I found out that I was...wrong. (I know, call CNN). He explained that he truly cared for me more than I knew and he always would, thus the pictures in the box and the trinkets in his home. I explained what impression I was left with and how much I hurt I felt over it. Mostly in the end, I was better for knowing him because I grew as a person. The hurt pushed me forward and I learned so much about myself in the process. Through this conversation, whatever left over past hurts for me were healed and even if he was lying, it didn't matter. It healed me. It was a blessing. We haven't spoken often, which is good but what was said was important.
He is married now and has a beautiful little girl, however a leopard does not change his spots. He has cheated on his wife numerous times. She has found phone numbers and emails, you name it. NOW THIS IS WHERE IT GETS INTERESTING...Yesterday, out of the blue sky I received a message from her on FB warning me to stay away from her husband. I was like...what??? She found some old message from months ago from him to me ( not to mention that damn box of pictures he has in his closet, which I'm sure are ashes now) so she knew who I was and she assumed we were doin' the do. I explained to her that was not the case, at least not with me. I gave her the history and let her know my position...but since they opened the door to their lives I took full advantage and wrote them both a three paged letter about what real marriage is and getting some help to heal it. I was brutal and layed out in real, true facts.
She blames the women he attracts MORE than she holds him accountable and though I do, very much believe that anyone who involves themselves with a married person, when they know that person is married, is equally accountable...but this is what I said to her...its the fishermen who finds the fish, not the fish who find the fishermen. He's out there fishing. Now that's not to say that some fish won't try to jump in the boat, but ultimately he is in control.
Lastly, I said I know that he has apologized countless times, but all the apologies do not equal repentance. Repentance requires a change in mindset, behavior and actions. Repentance without change is NOT repentance....it's admission.
I blessed their journey and left them in their marital mess and took a moment to thank God that I wasn't his wife...I dodged that bullet.
Wow, this is very powerful Glamazon! thank you for sharing this...you just saved me a mistake of opening the FB hook of an ex who contacted me. Thank you. You are so right, a leopard doesn't change his stripes and he was removed from my life for a reason.
God bless you woman!
val
God bless you woman!
val
God is good all the time!!
Gastric Bypass Dr. Troy La Mar 03/12/08
Anchor Cut, Extended Tummy Tuck Dr. Pearlman D. Hicks 12/17/10
Starting weight 265, Goal Weight 130, Current Weight 145.
Gastric Bypass Dr. Troy La Mar 03/12/08
Anchor Cut, Extended Tummy Tuck Dr. Pearlman D. Hicks 12/17/10
Starting weight 265, Goal Weight 130, Current Weight 145.
(deactivated member)
on 7/1/10 4:18 am - ~Somewhere in~, PA
on 7/1/10 4:18 am - ~Somewhere in~, PA
Wow B you laid it down girl, this is why I don't do Facebook, I know it will lead me into a whole lot of trouble I have enough on these forums keeping up with my weight lol....I hear Facebook can get REAL ghetto...and catty women and men at each others throats, I even heard of folks breaking up and getting divorces on Facebook...Me and Erik do not do Facebook period...
My sister does facebook and all my relatives, but I refuse to do it...I know my mouth will get me a whole lot of trouble...but yea you are right i STRONGLY believe a leopard NEVER change his strips, I never go wtih old flames...sometimes these fools get old and broke and want to come back you when their PIMPING days have gotten weak and the younger women no longer want them.don't get me started...lol... B you are too beautiful to get caught up in a messy situation...and deal with drama and someone else's husband....you deserve the best sweetie....
My sister does facebook and all my relatives, but I refuse to do it...I know my mouth will get me a whole lot of trouble...but yea you are right i STRONGLY believe a leopard NEVER change his strips, I never go wtih old flames...sometimes these fools get old and broke and want to come back you when their PIMPING days have gotten weak and the younger women no longer want them.don't get me started...lol... B you are too beautiful to get caught up in a messy situation...and deal with drama and someone else's husband....you deserve the best sweetie....
I have decided to prune back my dealing with several people who just can't seem to respect me or my bounderies. No love lost. I think FB is just a tool in which ugly people are going to act ugly. It's not FB per say, it's people. If it weren't FB, they'd find some other way of being stupid and hurtful. BUT...a long handled approach is best. I agree. Thanks babe, I honestly think he has issues. I mean serius issues and it's sad because he is an exceptional person otherwise. I just pray for them and...keep moving. God's got someone for me so I have no interest in wasting anymore time with anyone who just wants to hurt or use me.
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