Great old post....
I was cleaning out my computer folders and came across this old post. I had copied and pasted it into a word document to save for future reference. I am not sure which forum it came from or who the original posters were but with all the talk about weigh gain, I thought that I would share it.
I found it very insightful. Its a post and the a response to the poster.
Ok so my mother called me today all in a frazzle. She was worried about me because she had just gotten back from McDonalds with my neices and sitting beside her was a VERY large woman. My mother small talked with the lady for a few moments and it came out that she had Gastric Bypass 5 years ago. My mother's heart dropped. The lady told my mom that she had lost almsot all of her excess weight at first but slowly and surely it snuck back up on her and now she weigh's close to 400 pounds again. And to my mother I said, (and I KNOW I'm judgmental) - "well **** mom, she's eating a Big Mac at McDonalds, isn't that how she got fat in the first place?? No wonder she gained back the weight." But honestly, it really put things into perspective because...
I have had a happy meal since sugery and I can see how it could slowly escalate back to normal people meals and I haven't been worrying much abou what I'm eating because everything usually makes me sick and I can't eat enough of it (or I'm pooping it out" to dream of gaining any weight back. BUT how long is that going to last.
I am scared ****less of everything this fat lady represents because she is everything I used to be
SO....I brought down all my notes from the manditory nutrition class the clinic gave me and my eating manual from my surgeon and I am starting from the basics all over again just to make sure I am doing EVERYTHING the right way. I don't know emotionally how I could ever deal with gaining the weight back and I'm only down 70 pounds so far.
In conclusion, no big macs for me.
I'm certainly not totally experienced but since I'm one of the longer post-ops on this board in particular I want to chime in here.
First off, you're not a newb forever. Hunger will return. Fullness will subside. The "rules" lose their credibility when you stop losing weight. Because we all know better right? Something MUST be done to make up keep losing weight especially if we're not at goal right? Twenty pounds left - gotta do something different to make it work! Same thing goes for maintaining weight loss. I'm up 5 pounds - I must do something drastic to get back down to goal! Otherwise I am a failure.
So as we hit the fork in the WLS road we decide which way to go. Each one of us will eventually get there - it's just a matter of time and which route we choose to take.
See to the left there is this ideal that once we get to goal we're going to arrive. We're going to be happier, healthier, perfect - just everything wrapped up in a tiny little bundle of WLS success. We'll never falter, chose to eat bad foods, or stop following the rules because goal is what made us perfect. So we know without a shadow of a doubt we're dedicated to ourselves for the rest of our lives. No question about it.
To the right is "normal". We're close to goal, living life, and feeling good. We know we have to keep striving for health but we're ok with being where we are. We decide that because we want to be normal we start doing normal things. Movie popcorn couple times a week. Candy bar every other day. Dortios with lunch. Couple fries at dinner. Eh - whatever. That's moderation right? Yeah. I'm normal. It's everything I've wanted to be. And I couldn't be happier.
But before you think one of the two separate yellow brick roads will ultimately lead you to Emerald City you have to understand there are going to be additional forks in the road, detours, road blocks, more detours, dead ends, and plenty of squished squirrels along the way - on both routes. Nothing is without fault. No matter which way you choose there will be pitfalls you have to be prepared for. Additional byways you might not have been prepared for that literally pull the rug out from under your hard work because you turned one way when you should have considered the other.
When you're a new post-op you're filled with such enthusiasm. Understandably so - you feel amazing, thin, happy (for the most part), and all around optimistic about your future.
Then reality sets in. Wait a minute. You mean LIFE has to keep going when my weight loss doesn't go my way?
If this wasn't true we wouldn't read a zillion posts a month about stalls and 3 pound weight gains when you're 4 months out. We wouldn't see people frustrated. We wouldn't see people begging for instructions on how to change things to make stuff work because it's not going as they planned. We wouldn't see pouch tests and plateau busters and "I'm a worthless piece of crap because I ate X" posts.
Well this terror doesn't leave you when you're 1+ years out. It gets worse for many. You eat so normally you don't feel like you ever had surgery. You eat plenty of food - enough to never be considered a WLS patient ever to a stranger and unless you swallow a chicken carcass you're not full like you were in the beginning. And NO ONE wants to be fat again. Right? You think that lady who was almost 400 pounds again wanted to be that way? Even eating Big Macs and french fries and a Coke and finishing it up with an ice cream sundaes I will bet my house she never wanted to be that way ever again sometime in her post-op life. But somewhere along the way she choose a fork in the road that ultimately led to her demise. And instead of turning back the way she came from she decided to trudge on despite the consequences.
Regain isn't about crap food. Really - it's not. Ultimately for the majority I will risk saying it was never about the food. Sure some food isn't as nutritionally sound as other options but ultimately it was what you let food be for you. It replaced your spouse not loving you enough. It replaced being proactive in staying on top of your bills. It replaced your dying cat. It replaced stress, fear, anger, sadness, loneliness, fatigue, suffering, or trauma. Heck - it could have even replaced your happiness. Because if you ultimately can't handle being happy then you're going to want to replace it with something else. And what is you're number one comfort if you never focus on changing it? Food.
The only thing changed after WLS is your anatomy. Your heart is the same. Your brain is the same. Your reactions are the same. Your feelings are the same. Everything that was broken pre-op is still broken post-op. Nothing is fixed post surgery except the fact that you can't get as much in so you're forced to stop the madness. It's up to the patient on how they handle it. You can say "I'm going to do this this and this and I will never fall flat on my face" or you can say "I completely expect to fall flat on my ass but I am determined to pull myself up by the God damn bootstraps if I have to bleed and cry and claw my way back up". I honestly believe the people who banked on their surgery doing everything for them for life and never look their own personal food crazy in the eye are doomed to failure. I don't care what surgery you had. If you don't work on your WHY it won't matter the what, where, who, and how.
Regain is about choice. You can choose to stop at 10 pounds or you can choose to allow 200 pounds back on. The choice was and always will be ours. I think it's safe to say for the majority we never had to get MO in the first place if it weren't for how we chose to use food. We still have that option post-op. It's just a matter of learning what that means for you. Not me. Not them. You. Cause I think it's pretty safe to say my food insanity is a special brand all it's own and unless I take the time to completely understand the ever evolving food crazy I do have I will be bound for regain hell myself. I know I will never be fixed. I just have to stay on top of replacing the band aids.
Jenny
I found it very insightful. Its a post and the a response to the poster.
Ok so my mother called me today all in a frazzle. She was worried about me because she had just gotten back from McDonalds with my neices and sitting beside her was a VERY large woman. My mother small talked with the lady for a few moments and it came out that she had Gastric Bypass 5 years ago. My mother's heart dropped. The lady told my mom that she had lost almsot all of her excess weight at first but slowly and surely it snuck back up on her and now she weigh's close to 400 pounds again. And to my mother I said, (and I KNOW I'm judgmental) - "well **** mom, she's eating a Big Mac at McDonalds, isn't that how she got fat in the first place?? No wonder she gained back the weight." But honestly, it really put things into perspective because...
I have had a happy meal since sugery and I can see how it could slowly escalate back to normal people meals and I haven't been worrying much abou what I'm eating because everything usually makes me sick and I can't eat enough of it (or I'm pooping it out" to dream of gaining any weight back. BUT how long is that going to last.
I am scared ****less of everything this fat lady represents because she is everything I used to be
SO....I brought down all my notes from the manditory nutrition class the clinic gave me and my eating manual from my surgeon and I am starting from the basics all over again just to make sure I am doing EVERYTHING the right way. I don't know emotionally how I could ever deal with gaining the weight back and I'm only down 70 pounds so far.
In conclusion, no big macs for me.
I'm certainly not totally experienced but since I'm one of the longer post-ops on this board in particular I want to chime in here.
First off, you're not a newb forever. Hunger will return. Fullness will subside. The "rules" lose their credibility when you stop losing weight. Because we all know better right? Something MUST be done to make up keep losing weight especially if we're not at goal right? Twenty pounds left - gotta do something different to make it work! Same thing goes for maintaining weight loss. I'm up 5 pounds - I must do something drastic to get back down to goal! Otherwise I am a failure.
So as we hit the fork in the WLS road we decide which way to go. Each one of us will eventually get there - it's just a matter of time and which route we choose to take.
See to the left there is this ideal that once we get to goal we're going to arrive. We're going to be happier, healthier, perfect - just everything wrapped up in a tiny little bundle of WLS success. We'll never falter, chose to eat bad foods, or stop following the rules because goal is what made us perfect. So we know without a shadow of a doubt we're dedicated to ourselves for the rest of our lives. No question about it.
To the right is "normal". We're close to goal, living life, and feeling good. We know we have to keep striving for health but we're ok with being where we are. We decide that because we want to be normal we start doing normal things. Movie popcorn couple times a week. Candy bar every other day. Dortios with lunch. Couple fries at dinner. Eh - whatever. That's moderation right? Yeah. I'm normal. It's everything I've wanted to be. And I couldn't be happier.
But before you think one of the two separate yellow brick roads will ultimately lead you to Emerald City you have to understand there are going to be additional forks in the road, detours, road blocks, more detours, dead ends, and plenty of squished squirrels along the way - on both routes. Nothing is without fault. No matter which way you choose there will be pitfalls you have to be prepared for. Additional byways you might not have been prepared for that literally pull the rug out from under your hard work because you turned one way when you should have considered the other.
When you're a new post-op you're filled with such enthusiasm. Understandably so - you feel amazing, thin, happy (for the most part), and all around optimistic about your future.
Then reality sets in. Wait a minute. You mean LIFE has to keep going when my weight loss doesn't go my way?
If this wasn't true we wouldn't read a zillion posts a month about stalls and 3 pound weight gains when you're 4 months out. We wouldn't see people frustrated. We wouldn't see people begging for instructions on how to change things to make stuff work because it's not going as they planned. We wouldn't see pouch tests and plateau busters and "I'm a worthless piece of crap because I ate X" posts.
Well this terror doesn't leave you when you're 1+ years out. It gets worse for many. You eat so normally you don't feel like you ever had surgery. You eat plenty of food - enough to never be considered a WLS patient ever to a stranger and unless you swallow a chicken carcass you're not full like you were in the beginning. And NO ONE wants to be fat again. Right? You think that lady who was almost 400 pounds again wanted to be that way? Even eating Big Macs and french fries and a Coke and finishing it up with an ice cream sundaes I will bet my house she never wanted to be that way ever again sometime in her post-op life. But somewhere along the way she choose a fork in the road that ultimately led to her demise. And instead of turning back the way she came from she decided to trudge on despite the consequences.
Regain isn't about crap food. Really - it's not. Ultimately for the majority I will risk saying it was never about the food. Sure some food isn't as nutritionally sound as other options but ultimately it was what you let food be for you. It replaced your spouse not loving you enough. It replaced being proactive in staying on top of your bills. It replaced your dying cat. It replaced stress, fear, anger, sadness, loneliness, fatigue, suffering, or trauma. Heck - it could have even replaced your happiness. Because if you ultimately can't handle being happy then you're going to want to replace it with something else. And what is you're number one comfort if you never focus on changing it? Food.
The only thing changed after WLS is your anatomy. Your heart is the same. Your brain is the same. Your reactions are the same. Your feelings are the same. Everything that was broken pre-op is still broken post-op. Nothing is fixed post surgery except the fact that you can't get as much in so you're forced to stop the madness. It's up to the patient on how they handle it. You can say "I'm going to do this this and this and I will never fall flat on my face" or you can say "I completely expect to fall flat on my ass but I am determined to pull myself up by the God damn bootstraps if I have to bleed and cry and claw my way back up". I honestly believe the people who banked on their surgery doing everything for them for life and never look their own personal food crazy in the eye are doomed to failure. I don't care what surgery you had. If you don't work on your WHY it won't matter the what, where, who, and how.
Regain is about choice. You can choose to stop at 10 pounds or you can choose to allow 200 pounds back on. The choice was and always will be ours. I think it's safe to say for the majority we never had to get MO in the first place if it weren't for how we chose to use food. We still have that option post-op. It's just a matter of learning what that means for you. Not me. Not them. You. Cause I think it's pretty safe to say my food insanity is a special brand all it's own and unless I take the time to completely understand the ever evolving food crazy I do have I will be bound for regain hell myself. I know I will never be fixed. I just have to stay on top of replacing the band aids.
Jenny
Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels!
Thanks for sharing, this it is indeed a good post to save. I plan to share this with a friend who had revision surgery a couple of days ago after a major regain and save it for myself to read as a reminder. It's very easy to slip back into old habits if we are not constantly mindful of the "rules".
Change is a Process Not an Event
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