Where is the support???
I have been a "lurker" for 2 years before I got my surgery on May 25th...I looked all over the net for a place to call home for questions, and just support. I was sooo happy to find this board and even more happy that I found the "Black American Forum"...
But I do have a little disapointment, and correct me if I am wrong here....Anytime I post something or ask a question here I get tons of people "looking" at my post but know one responds...Am I asking the wrong things? Is my Avatar incorrect? Did I say something to offend someone?? I really don't understand it.
When I posted the thread on the "main" board and the board for RNY, I got alot of people saying "welcome to the other side!", "congrates!" "hope you are doing fine!" "if I you have any qusestions, feel free to ask!"
But here? I got 55 lookers and only 2 people to say congrates! Now don't get me wrong, they may be just 53 lurkers and they are trying to find there nitch here on the board, and I am also very gratefull that the two that responded did, but really???
I thought this was a place where like people share support and ideas, where if someone need help or had a question would get that help and get their questions answered, isn't that what we are here for??
And because birds of a feather flock together, I just knew that THIS board would show more support then any!
Now if my post reads as being upset, or a little pissed, please forgive me it's just that you don't find many Black American type forum as it is and this one is a very special one, and I beleive with all my heart that we should be "jumpin' and popping"!!
But I do have a little disapointment, and correct me if I am wrong here....Anytime I post something or ask a question here I get tons of people "looking" at my post but know one responds...Am I asking the wrong things? Is my Avatar incorrect? Did I say something to offend someone?? I really don't understand it.
When I posted the thread on the "main" board and the board for RNY, I got alot of people saying "welcome to the other side!", "congrates!" "hope you are doing fine!" "if I you have any qusestions, feel free to ask!"
But here? I got 55 lookers and only 2 people to say congrates! Now don't get me wrong, they may be just 53 lurkers and they are trying to find there nitch here on the board, and I am also very gratefull that the two that responded did, but really???
I thought this was a place where like people share support and ideas, where if someone need help or had a question would get that help and get their questions answered, isn't that what we are here for??
And because birds of a feather flock together, I just knew that THIS board would show more support then any!
Now if my post reads as being upset, or a little pissed, please forgive me it's just that you don't find many Black American type forum as it is and this one is a very special one, and I beleive with all my heart that we should be "jumpin' and popping"!!
If you've been lurking for 2 years - then you know the board has dwindled in participation overall. Back in the day, you would have to check page 1 AND 2 just for one day's worth of 'happenings'.
As for 'support' - everybody has something going on these days - so pardon the lack of response to you personally - congrats on your surgery tho.
If you post something I feel absolutely compelled to answer, I will - otherwise, I'm trying to solve for X in my own equation...........
As for 'support' - everybody has something going on these days - so pardon the lack of response to you personally - congrats on your surgery tho.
If you post something I feel absolutely compelled to answer, I will - otherwise, I'm trying to solve for X in my own equation...........
Thank you for responding....
Yes I do know it has dwindled...even more so why the rest of us should be on it with each other...
And yes everyone has something going on these days, but they are taking time to "read" all the post..takes a second to say "good job" or "the answer to your question is" thats what support is all about, and that is not really personal per say because I have seen others questions go unanswered before, ...thats why we come here...support...and if WE are not giving it to the ones that are having surgery, or the ones that are on the fence, or the ones that maybe afraid to ask anyone but us, then maybe that could be the reason why people did not stick around??? Just asking...
I do understand where you are coming from about being compelled to answer, but sometimes when you are new, like myself, and looking for someone, just anyone to feel your pain, that one person, or 60 people that just read your post , did not respond, it kind of makes you feel "is anyone out there??"
Yes I do know it has dwindled...even more so why the rest of us should be on it with each other...
And yes everyone has something going on these days, but they are taking time to "read" all the post..takes a second to say "good job" or "the answer to your question is" thats what support is all about, and that is not really personal per say because I have seen others questions go unanswered before, ...thats why we come here...support...and if WE are not giving it to the ones that are having surgery, or the ones that are on the fence, or the ones that maybe afraid to ask anyone but us, then maybe that could be the reason why people did not stick around??? Just asking...
I do understand where you are coming from about being compelled to answer, but sometimes when you are new, like myself, and looking for someone, just anyone to feel your pain, that one person, or 60 people that just read your post , did not respond, it kind of makes you feel "is anyone out there??"
Ummmm - actually - I went and clicked on your earlier post - I didn't read it - it was REAL long. Lots of times, we click on something and open it, if it looks too long and involved and more than we want to commit to at that moment, it gets closed and moved past.
..... jus sayin.......
as for good job and tips and all that - look - on the real - I have gained about 20lbs from where I want to be, so obviously *I* don't have a good handle on me so how can I really make a suggestion to someone - that's what's on MY mind right now. There's a lot of vets dealing with regain and other things - but not a lot of 'newbies' are showing up. Heck, I'll be 5 years out in Aug, and quite frankly - I have forgotten or let go a lot of the year 1 and year 2 stuff outta my head........
As for the 'good job' and other pats on the back..... ummm.... I've never been a patter - so that'll be a consistent from me....just my personality. I do respond to backline messges regularly, so if there's someone you really want to reach out to - that's a good way to do it.
Let me say welcome and congrats to you.Don't give up because you aren't getting the response you are looking for.I think all of us has felt this way at some point on here. You have found a wonderful place and you will also learn that your family members on here will support you in anyway they can.Just give it a little more time and you will have friends giving you wanted and unwanted advice. lol But most of all you will find that one special friend who will always be around for you. I must admit that since I've lost 68lbs I don't post or blog like I did when I first became a member. So please forgive me. But please fill free to contact me if you need help I'll do my best to be there for you.
Lisaslovinghands 
Hello Mrs. Cookie..
If you go back to my page, you will see all the post I have made and the MANY congrates to all the ones that had surgery and welcomes to all the newbies...here and on the main board.
I understand what you are saying about gaining but that is just the kind of stuff newbies wanna here! You have one of the best advice of all! You have exsperiance under your belt!
If you go back to my page, you will see all the post I have made and the MANY congrates to all the ones that had surgery and welcomes to all the newbies...here and on the main board.
I understand what you are saying about gaining but that is just the kind of stuff newbies wanna here! You have one of the best advice of all! You have exsperiance under your belt!
Ummm.........
I gotta tell you - thinking that vets wanna come on here and be all out and about with their failures is asking...no, DEMANDING a lot.
I HATE the fact that I weigh just over 200 these days. I am ashamed of it, I am mad at myself, I am frustrated. I used to have the banner of having lost 200lbs - now it's 185 and YES - that is NOT good enough for me.
I have no interest or thrill of coming on here to talk about that - it's my private battle, my own scarlet letter and I ain't in the least bit interested in having a newbie or a less than 5 yr person tell me 'it'll be alright', 'you can do it', 'it'll be alright' --- nunna that mess.
Not jumping on you - but trying to give you some insight so that you realize it ain't people not being supportive - it's a whole lot of people struggling and trying REALLY hard to stay on track and on point - and at this point - most folk are doing that in private, by choice.
The board ebbs and flows..... it's just more ebb right now.
I gotta tell you - thinking that vets wanna come on here and be all out and about with their failures is asking...no, DEMANDING a lot.
I HATE the fact that I weigh just over 200 these days. I am ashamed of it, I am mad at myself, I am frustrated. I used to have the banner of having lost 200lbs - now it's 185 and YES - that is NOT good enough for me.
I have no interest or thrill of coming on here to talk about that - it's my private battle, my own scarlet letter and I ain't in the least bit interested in having a newbie or a less than 5 yr person tell me 'it'll be alright', 'you can do it', 'it'll be alright' --- nunna that mess.
Not jumping on you - but trying to give you some insight so that you realize it ain't people not being supportive - it's a whole lot of people struggling and trying REALLY hard to stay on track and on point - and at this point - most folk are doing that in private, by choice.
The board ebbs and flows..... it's just more ebb right now.
Most Active
Recent Topics
