Former Fatty did I represent to the skinny "B" or.......?
Last night I was at a workshop sitting next to a woman whom I did not know. We exgaged in several nice conversations about various topics. One topic was Mrs. Obama's inititive to end childhood obesity...we went on to have a good conversation about nutrition in general.
As the evening progressed the woman pointed out every obese/overweight person and commented what a shame it was that they were eating the snacks put out for refreshments and going back for more. I did not address the eating much but I asked her why she was so concerned about others. She made several comments about a mobridly obese young man (about 450 lbs) that I found very offensive and I calmy told her so.
On one hand it was amazing to be on the inside conversation with a skinny "B" to hear their conversations and thoughts about overweight people. This was the first time I was concious of being included in such a conversation, I still see myself as the fat girl. I am not at goal and it amazes me how people don't see me as the "fat girl" anymore because I am far from finished with my journey.
I did not go into my personal WLS journey and I made some minor comments in defense of the overweight people she commented on and left it at that. WHY DO I FEEL GUILTY TODAY that I did not tell her about my journey and strongly talk about the struggles of an obese person and really let her know exactly how offensive she was being. (maybe the setting was not right)
How do you respond in these types of situations..did I represent my peeps or was I a sell out????
-Bruised But Not Broken in B-More
As the evening progressed the woman pointed out every obese/overweight person and commented what a shame it was that they were eating the snacks put out for refreshments and going back for more. I did not address the eating much but I asked her why she was so concerned about others. She made several comments about a mobridly obese young man (about 450 lbs) that I found very offensive and I calmy told her so.
On one hand it was amazing to be on the inside conversation with a skinny "B" to hear their conversations and thoughts about overweight people. This was the first time I was concious of being included in such a conversation, I still see myself as the fat girl. I am not at goal and it amazes me how people don't see me as the "fat girl" anymore because I am far from finished with my journey.
I did not go into my personal WLS journey and I made some minor comments in defense of the overweight people she commented on and left it at that. WHY DO I FEEL GUILTY TODAY that I did not tell her about my journey and strongly talk about the struggles of an obese person and really let her know exactly how offensive she was being. (maybe the setting was not right)
How do you respond in these types of situations..did I represent my peeps or was I a sell out????
-Bruised But Not Broken in B-More
Change is a Process Not an Event
I been there. Had a 'ah-ha' moment with a shoe salesgirl. I was trying on some 3'' heels and she commented on how fat women shouldn't try them on cause they will mess up the shoes.......
what, bytch?
And I wasn't offended because she was talking about big folk - i was offended cause I thought she meant ME in particular - it didn't dawn on me that she saw ME as the skinny one and was talking about OTHER folk TO me..........
even WITH that clarification - she still got the cold shoulder and no sale
what, bytch? And I wasn't offended because she was talking about big folk - i was offended cause I thought she meant ME in particular - it didn't dawn on me that she saw ME as the skinny one and was talking about OTHER folk TO me..........
even WITH that clarification - she still got the cold shoulder and no sale
It's hard to gather erry'body overweight under our umbrella of protection in every case by speaking on their behalf and whatnot or by chumpin' people off who don't like fat people, so I don't even try. I will, however, defend them as people in general the same way I would defend the homeless, gays in the military, and even crackheads by saying, "They're everywhere, Yo. Love 'em or hate 'em but if you ain't one of them, then leave 'em alone."
I think you did just fine. She really was not worthy of your time or attention but you gave her food for thought. She now can either use that information to her benefit OR get the F*ck slap out of her at the next workshop....her choice! No need to feel guilty....you were being as classy as you could in a difficult situation.
I have had that moment!!! It takes a long time for the brain to catch up to the body. I say it's a personal decision and you did what works for you BUT you did set her straight. Good job.
About a year ago, I went to dinner with some friends who invited a few people I had not met. One of the guest (A DOCTOR) was late coming to dinner. When he arrived, he was rushed and very apologetic and explained that he was delayed because of a patient who was, and I quote " a whale of a woman" who was having some issues with skin rashes (that alone was too much info). He went on to degrade her, calling her one nasty name after another and then expose her personal health business ( illegal) to a table full of strangers.
Those that knew me, just sat there getting more and more uncomfortable by the minute and darted concerned looks at me. They knew the explosion was coming!! I waited for the idiot to finish and I (in classic Brenda style) ripped him a new asshole!! I exposed him for the stupid, insensitive, moron he is and then informed him that I did plan on letting the medical board know that he filled us all in on the detailed information about his patient (which I did) and then, I said, " You as a doctor, are sworn first to do no harm. You pusstulating asshole!" My last comment to him was that I had WLS and he and people like him are why so many fat people stay fat. They are so abused and degraded and made fun off that they don't believe they deserve to get help or feel better.
He tried to explain himself, mumbling about it all being a joke as I left the table...and yes, I did leave the table and as I did, my comment was..." Wow, I have completely lost my appetite! See what being around ******** can do?! It's a natural appetite suppressant. Maybe I didn't need to have WLS after all. I just needed to around you!"
To this day, that convo is still talked about!!! I applaud you for taking a stand and speaking up. You didn't have to tell her that about you, you just did what was right!!! I just don't have that much tact!
!!!
About a year ago, I went to dinner with some friends who invited a few people I had not met. One of the guest (A DOCTOR) was late coming to dinner. When he arrived, he was rushed and very apologetic and explained that he was delayed because of a patient who was, and I quote " a whale of a woman" who was having some issues with skin rashes (that alone was too much info). He went on to degrade her, calling her one nasty name after another and then expose her personal health business ( illegal) to a table full of strangers.
Those that knew me, just sat there getting more and more uncomfortable by the minute and darted concerned looks at me. They knew the explosion was coming!! I waited for the idiot to finish and I (in classic Brenda style) ripped him a new asshole!! I exposed him for the stupid, insensitive, moron he is and then informed him that I did plan on letting the medical board know that he filled us all in on the detailed information about his patient (which I did) and then, I said, " You as a doctor, are sworn first to do no harm. You pusstulating asshole!" My last comment to him was that I had WLS and he and people like him are why so many fat people stay fat. They are so abused and degraded and made fun off that they don't believe they deserve to get help or feel better.
He tried to explain himself, mumbling about it all being a joke as I left the table...and yes, I did leave the table and as I did, my comment was..." Wow, I have completely lost my appetite! See what being around ******** can do?! It's a natural appetite suppressant. Maybe I didn't need to have WLS after all. I just needed to around you!"
To this day, that convo is still talked about!!! I applaud you for taking a stand and speaking up. You didn't have to tell her that about you, you just did what was right!!! I just don't have that much tact!
!!! 
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