HOLD MY FEET TO THE FIRE! ACCOUNTABILITY POST

Accountability Mission: No Mercy and No Excuses 

Its Accounability Thursday BAF.  I hope your plan for the week is going well.  Did you make the most of the week so far?  Whats on the plan for today?   Tell the whole truth and be accountable.  Are you working this week the way you need to?    Be mindful of your goals and work your program. 

       ... All are welcome, jump in at anytime.


For reference:
5 Day Pouch Test website
http://www.5daypouchtest.com/plan/theplan.html
5 Day Pouch Test Instructions
http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/black_american/3995048/Hold-my-feet-to-the-fire-please-Accountability-Mision/
Protein Train Instructions http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/black_american/3993571/Protein-Train-Educate-me-please/#32309205
Wagon Plan Instructions
http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/black_american/3650242/The-Wagon-Plan-Get-back-on-the-wagon
Overeaters Anonymous 
 Online Meetings 

Settle in or skip it cause I'm going to bable on today. 

I'm still resentful and depressed but I'm working my program.     Kept the calories under 1000 and got my protein in.  Just sticking to the basics.  Today will be tough because I've got my first full workout day without adjusting calories upward.  I will be hungry, but I'll take it minute by minute.

I've been asked a few times why I'm so obsessed with making goal given my resonable size.     The answer speaks to the issue of health vs appearance.  I often see posts from folks relatively early out about fear of getting too small.  Here is a different perspective. 

In my not at all humble opinion, goal should be based on your overall health.  Not on your preference for curvy or flat.  I have health issues that have responded completely to nothing.  For years.  WLS was my last resort.  The only thing left for me to try is a normal bmi or getting to my "medically ideal" weight.

I admit that despite loosing only 8 lbs in the last six months, I've gone from a size 8 to a size 2 in some brands of clothing.  However, its not the size that matters (except of course in dating circles  ).  Its about never having that stroke I am in danger of if the situation is not resolved.  Pre op, I had one serious co morbidity and I've still got it.   I should not need a cardiologist in my forties. 

Besides, I'm an obsessive type A personality and a little crazy.   (We all are      , its a family thing.  Both sides.)   However, I am not crazy about being skinny.  I hate skinny because it just looks bad.   (Not that I've ever been.)  I'm obsessed with getting this weight off because of the potential long term complications that  I had wls to avoid in the first place.  

So there you have it.  I like food and hunger makes me real mean.     However, if that's what it takes to achieve good cardiovascular health I do it willingly.  I am at a point where the damage is still reversable.  I am pushing for 100% repair of the damage to my cardiovascular system.  Even if I end up looking like a scare crow.   

      When thinking about where you want to land at goal, I hope you consider the long term implications of your desired weight.        Two people the same age and build can have vastly different weight requirements to be strong and healthy over the long term.   It all depends on your personal medical needs.  End PSA. 

Thanks for the PSA.  I agree that I do not want to be skinny either. I really want to keep my curves.  I am determined that once Mardi Gras & my 40th birthday is over, I will get my head completely together and get to my goal of 180.  I just keep losing and gaining the same pounds over and over again and it has become frustrating.  My three year bandiversary is on Sunday and I am still not at goal.  However, I am about 13 pounds smaller that I was last year at this time so!!!

I admire all of you restriction only wls folks.  It takes so much determination to continue to loose year over year.  I get frustrated with my daughter sometimes when she does not seem to be loosing.  But then I remind myself that her struggle is not the same as mine so myob mom (but its soooo hard not to but in, lol). 

I think the things you are doing will all help your cardiovascular health on the long term. at this point maybe its not going to be a matter of you losing weight....but more your consistency over the long term to exercise and continue to eat right.  I know you are frustrated and eventually the weight will come off....IF its meant to come off. Sometimes our body has a way of telling us where it needs to be.  I keep thinking about folks that are upset because they continue to lose despite the fact that they dont want to lose any more....well. their bodies are telling them that "you are not where you need to be yet". I know that I have made comments about not wanting to get too skinny and I don't but if I keep losing while keeping up my exercise and proper eating then so be it. I stopped eating properly before...cuz I got scared that I would lose too fast and set myself up big time for failure.  So for me...the long term goal should be continue healthy eating and regular exercise....regardless of what my weight loss result will be. Don't get me wrong I will  get upset and have bad days when things don't looks as they should or where I want them to be....but those are the FEELINGS that I will need to address rather than the ultimate outcome. Some things are out of our controll...and I know that this is a very nerve racking thing to accept at times. 

Just keep up the good work....you ARE a much healthier you AND it can only get better if you stick with your regimen.

I've been rocking the gym for thirty years and pushing the cardio hard over the last three years.  Love the weights, cardio not as much.  Lucky for me, my diet since 2003 has been similar to my post op requirements minus my weekly treats of course (something chocolate, deep fried, and a nice desert).  I only lost fifty and things got even worse. 

But you are still right.  I am improved post op.  Exercise is still part of my normal routine and I will only taste the treats in the future if I have them again.  No more eating it all which is so good for me.  I've been consistent over the years and I will stay so.  When I'm frustrated I'll fine tune but I will stick with it.  I am determined to get this right. 

heeeyyyy gurl - I so feel you!!!!  My 200lb ass ain't the same as I was pre WLS - I tell you what - I have NEVER pushed the weights I am right now in the gym. EVER!  And I can handle the treadmill or eliptical without needing a crash cart on standby........

As for size - yea - mofos that I've talked to that see me are like 'get the rocks outta your pocket' because they do not believe I weigh 200 for the way I look. 

BUT

Like you, size is NOTHING!  I am obsessed and unhappy until I get back to 186.  For me that's the 'okay' point - it's where I am officially down 200lbs from my starting 386.  I am fixated on it and nothing is good enough until I get there.  Even though I wear today things that I could not fit into at my previous 186 - it ain't good enough. 

So I am with you - and still working to get back to where I 'belong'. 

You do look good.  Damned good.  And I understand completely why you want that full 200 lbs gone.  Its a huge personal accomplishment.  You will get back where you belong kicking ass with all that muscle. 

I am still on track....really trying to kick out as much loss as I can before my PS consult next week.  I am on plan. I have been trying to come up with some healthy snack and recipes for myself. I made some sauteed yellow squash and fried onions..seasoned with splenda and pepper the other day....Yum Yum Yum. I was so happy. I enjoyed that tremendously. I used to cook it before but only I used real sugar.  I need to go revisit a lot of my old recipes and substitute. I recall someone saying that they used squash instead of spaghetti....so I am going to try that too.

As far as my exercise...I am getting it in and on a regular now. I have crossed that line...where I feel funny or off balance if I cant get it in for whatever reason. I have increased all of my weights and my technique is improving...I feel more comfortable and as if I know what I am doing. Its funny because I can now tell the folks who are doing it wrong...hahahaha...And here I was at the beginning...thinking these same folks were the shioot....well I still give them mad prompt for even doing their thing.

Today...I have no complaints...I feel I am doing the best I can at this time.

Keep up the good work.  Your determination is motivating.  Its a good feeling when your body craves movement. 

Do try the spaghetti squash.  My family hated it in the 90's but they love it now.  I use it just like spaghetti.  I don't normally eat yellow squash but your recipe sounds good.  I will be trying it.