Work situation: How would you react?

BAF family -
Sorry for the incognito post without the photo but, you all know the drill.

Well, I have been working at the same company since May 07.  When I started working I was 268 lbs.  I had surgery May 08 and now I am at 165.  I lost 70 lbs within 5 months.  Because I have changed responsibilities so much, I rarely see the same people more than once a year.  Most people that I knew in 07, see me and don't know who I am unless they see my name badge.  It is very easy for me to walk by people & them not recognize me.

Well, about 3 weeks ago, my husband started working at the same company. He did not want anyone to know that he was related to me so, he chose not to tell anyone that he and I were married.  In his first week of training, someone that knows both of us, went up to him - recognized him & then told the entire new hire class that he and I were related.

Fast forward, on yesterday I had to go to his work location.  I went to his class as I hired some of the people that are in training with him.  When I got to the class, I motioned for him to step out (no one saw me) and I walked in.  Shortly afterward, he came back in class and the class then asked me - if we were married.  I stated - I plead the fifth - because all of them already knew that we were married.

I greeted the class and left.  Well, my husband said as soon as I left, the instructor - a white male made the comment, your wife sure looks good - now that she lost all that weight!  WTH! My husband was SO mad, he could've stabbed him.  He was totally offended because he said - these people are SO noisey - why did he have to say anything???

When my husband got home, he recanted the above story to me & I said, whatever.  He was kind of upset with me because I wasn't upset.  For me, I really don't care what people say but, I have not discussed with anyone at work what I did nor, do I plan to.

So, would you address with the instructor or let it go?

Thanks!

I would completely let it go.  Your probably not upset about it because you know deep down that the person meant it as a compliment.  And you know sometimes people just have the best intentions to give compliments and it comes off rude/disrespectful or maybe even offensive.  But honestly... I just dont see that it was meant with any intent to be rude.

I would be the bigger person and just move on. 

I second the previous reply.  You will draw more attention if you make any issue of it.

Chances are - it's passed everyone else's mind.

I agree with the others

Absolutely .... let it go!  Sometimes it is hard

to know what to say when trying to compliment

someone's weight loss and I think that is what he

was really trying to do.  Working with a spouse can

be hard, on so many levels.  I know because I have done it before.

In a loving way let hubby know he can just CHILL and concentrate

on training.  You ain't nervous in the service!!!

sometimes people try to compliment but too much comes out of their mouth, i'm sure it's not that you did not look good before and the instructor just should have not made the comment in public anyway,

take a breath and let it go.

I think if it made your husband mad he should have said something. I  would not want to work with my hubby at all. Why did he not want people to know you were married?

As per the family medical leave act its none of their damn business alas welcome to Life after WLS. I've come to the realization that there is a lot of ******** on the job...unhappy..fuggly...smelly..unhappy....angry..unhappy...rude....unhappy....curt...did I mention unhappy people in the workplace? Use this information to put up a protective grude (O Magazine February issue Volume 11 #2 Oprah is in a pink outfit) one of the reasons why I purchased the magazine. To continue, the magazine has an article entitled 5 types of women to keep from quite frankly it should be five type of people to keep from the Planarian Parasite, Three Strikers, Gaslighters aka **** starters, Les Pitiables, and The Hyde Transformers (Personality A Jekyll and Hyde ass bipolar mother******s-run!).  Planarians are insensitive and don't care for change but they will say negative **** to you and back it up 100% but their still wrong. Three Strikers-basically if three or more people provide negative information about someone either their right or their hating  on that person you can tell. use your judgement. Gaslighters-**** starters. Les Pitiables-sociopaths with intentions to screw up your life not to be mistaken for men lol jk I just thought of a you tube video of a Jamaican lady about men were put here on earth to **** up woman lives. I'm babbling right now back to the agenda. The Hyde Transformers-calm and playful one moment and then savage and destructive the next. I'm not saying to analyze your co-workers but observe the nut ******s and you will know to put up a positively protective grudge. tisk tisk tisk. I still must provide you with a positive outlook unconditional love, the ten commandments, and forgiveness are the inevitable as a reminder. Enjoy your night! 

I never read O but that article is worth looking up.  Thanks. 

The guy had absolutely no right to say that to your husband and as far as being mad I would probably be but would not dwell on it...

Well he did not want people to know that we were married because of the position I hold and he is in a lower level position of Management.  He did not want anyone to think that he got preferential treatment during the hiring process.  The truth is - he is way more qualified than the people in the class & should have been hired at a higher level but, because he has NO experience in this industry - he could only get in at that level.

Now that he is in the class, there is training involved - each Friday there is a test & he has had the highest grades over the last 3 weeks & is #1 in the class.  He is one of 2 black men in the class so, that is an issue too.  From the outside, it may appear that he got help from me, but the reality is, I have no access to what they are doing in class nor do I want to know. 

When the first person made the public announcement that he was my husband, people kinda started treating him differently.  Many of those in the class know my name & my position but, they did not know me by face. 

I stick out like a sore thumb being one of 2 black females in a leadership role in the organization.

Thanks for all of the comments - I too said let it go as this guy is just ignorant.