Dating after weight loss

Blessings to you bro.

This is a journey......and you speak of your emotional state.....that will effect/affect you ALOT. My advice is that you stay grounded. Whatever keeps you centered, embrace it!  Opportunities will come, as others have implied....weed out the tare. Be wise, be focused and don't be led by your emotions. Enjoy the journey and embrace the new you!!

Amen DTray,

The word of God says "let the wheat and the tare grow together"... Applying that scripture here is very insightful. Ministry keeps me centered so while I'm going through the physical changes if I continue to be led by the spirit and use the gift of discernment I will be fine. Its really awesome to be able to hear both the natural and spiritual advice on this forum.

Sometimes I forget that this surgery has produced change on so many levels!

Man, I wasnt even trying to be spiritual, lol. But since you mention that, here is even greater advice........STAY ON THE ALTER!!!!!! If you understand the purpose of the alter and that it was a place of sacrifice, you will understand my my point. Romans 12.....

J Moss said that everyone has a FLORIDA........lol.

Joseph,

My only advice is to be careful and choose wisely, as you near your goal weight you will become more and more visible with the opposite sex and sometimes the attention gets overwhelming, but I caution you; don't let this get in the way of your focus, you mentioned that you are seeking a wife and want to have kids.

You need to focus on this, you will probably get attention from undesirables those that would not have looked your way when you were morbidly obese, you will probably get attention from slicks, deadbeats, and those who are not commitment minded you don't want to waste your energy there if you are seeking a wife and kids.

You will be tempted to sort of "sow your wild oats" since you will have a smorgasbord of women to choose from and have more options but don't let that fool you, there are just as many other normal weight gorgeous men and women out there that are single and at the top of their game and is seeking the SAME thing you are seeking; it just puts you into the "same" dating pool and you will no longer be invisible, but competition is fierce with NORMAL weight people so sometimes getting thin does not always bring formally morbidly obese people the happiness that they expected to have.

I got attention from men everywhere, and sometimes it gets to be a bit overwhelming because you will attract the undesirables too, meaning, the "slicks", deadbeats" "hustlers" and the non-commitment minded women/men, I had the same issue, I dated good looking guys, guys with killer bodies....but I chose the man of my dreams with my heart. choose wisely  and choose with your heart someone that will LOVE YOU unconditionally; even IF YOU GAINED WEIGHT BACK and not your only your eyes...Good luck!

P.S. edited to add: By the time you weed out people with "drama" "too many baby mamas/daddies", "drug use", "job" "emotionally stable", "disease free", "credit"...then that very fione man/women  don't look that good afterall....lmao.

Morning, Joseph.

Trust me, its really easy to become bitter at getting attention now from those who, previously, wouldn't have spat on ur ass if you were on fire.  The key is, however, in knowing that we live in a world of preferences.  Its difficult (I go thru this on the regular), but I have to keep telling myself this.  When I find myself getting that attention (especially from women who knew me pre-op), I pretty much thank  them for the attention and keep it moving.  Maybe it is bitterness on my part (something I need to analyze, I guess), but I deal with it.  

 

Hi Joe,

This is just the beginning just wait. I think we have all been there.

If you like you are more than welcome to join some of us single folks over on the SINGLES FORUM.

Imma have to agree with YaYa on this one – and especially cause *I* am one of those chicks who would NOT have holla’d at a big dude.  I just ain’t attracted to em – PERIOD.  I don’t owe you or anyone and explanation why – it’s simply how I roll.

 

So you got two options – know that ain’t everybody in the world ‘blind’ to everything except love and try to find the mystery mofo who would have hollered at you either way

 

OR

 

Step into the reality that not only were you unattractive in some way based on looks/size – but I am sure your attitude was different.  And before you go tryna tell me you the same mofo you always been – hole up – you mean to tell me the same bastid that couldn’t fit in a booth at a restaurant walks as tall and smiles as big as the mofo now?

 

Please – stop the BS.  Cause *I* ain’t the same bytch.  386 was one thing – under 200 – WHOLE NOTHER GAME.

 

And stop being salty about it- that’s not cute either!  LOL

Being that I'm not that far out... I KNOW that I'm still the same. Who knows a year from now I might not be. No need to B.S.

I looked good big... Thats not why I had the surgery... my fam has alot of weight related medical problems that I was not down for.

I would agree with the both of you...Big girls still aint my thing. This is not an argument about preferences and the right to have them. I have a problem with people who try to flip the script on me. Even if your looks changed if you a triflin or ignorant woman, losing weight isn't gonna change that! That's all I was saying. But your points have been well stated! LOL

P.S. No more Saltiness... PROMISE lol

  Knee-grow - YOU AIN'T THE SAME!!!!!

  flippin newbies KILL me with that ish.  You are in the INSIDE - how the heyl you gon tell me the exterior paint color ain't change????

Just cause YOU ain't see the paint crew come by...... don't mean it ain't different!

This change is based on other's perception - not your reality - at ALL, in the slightest.  You can never say someone is wrong for saying you've changed - you have no input into their assessment process nor can you be a resource to validate or certify the statement. 

 

Your still the same...I will give you that! true and you wanna know what I am still the same. The problem is that people were so taken away by your weight they didn't want to pay attention to who you really ARE despite the fat. Many people tell me that I am still the same but when it comes to relatives-whew! The jealousy erupted which was sad but it is what it is. People tell me that I am ****y and free mouthed since I lost the weight. My response, no dumb ass I was always ****y and free mouthed you were just to busy to ask my opinion and now I am giving it to ya!