Should I be offended???..because I am

My sister just sent me this email. (below). I didnt tell her about my WLS and (you guess why after you read this). My mom doesn't see anything wrong with it, evn though I am highly offended by it because she is really skinny and I'm still fat. I Think I am mostly offended that she chose to email me this and not even call or visit me. Should I be offended? How do I reply to and email like this?

can you look into Jenny Craig, Bistro Md or Nutrisystem and tell me which ones if any that interest you.  I will be willing to pay for one of them for you.  I need and want you and I know you want the same also, for you to have that healthy looking body especially if you are going to smashing case records! I love you and want the best for you, so please do not take offense to this.
We can try it for 1-3 or 3-6 months and see if they really aid in weight loss.  I have researched Bistro MD and they seemed really good but it will be your choice.

Hit me back when you awake 9or have time.

Love you

Awwwwww, I wouldn't be offended.  I wish one of my 5 sisters had noticed my weight issues and offered to help me!  Think on the positive side.  You must have expressed to her at some point that you wanted to lose weight and now she is offering to help because she loves you.  Now, not knowing yall's history, that's just my opinion.  Have you had your wls already and have started losing weight?  If you have noticeable started losing, then I would probably be offended that she didn't notice the progress.  Other than that, don't be mad 'Twan....

On January 19, 2010 at 11:44 AM Pacific Time, betterme1 wrote:

My sister just sent me this email. (below). I didnt tell her about my WLS and (you guess why after you read this). My mom doesn't see anything wrong with it, evn though I am highly offended by it because she is really skinny and I'm still fat. I Think I am mostly offended that she chose to email me this and not even call or visit me. Should I be offended? How do I reply to and email like this?

can you look into Jenny Craig, Bistro Md or Nutrisystem and tell me which ones if any that interest you.  I will be willing to pay for one of them for you.  I need and want you and I know you want the same also, for you to have that healthy looking body especially if you are going to smashing case records! I love you and want the best for you, so please do not take offense to this.
We can try it for 1-3 or 3-6 months and see if they really aid in weight loss.  I have researched Bistro MD and they seemed really good but it will be your choice.

Hit me back when you awake 9or have time.

Love you

Dear Sis,

I appreciate your concern and the thought that went into your very generous offer, but I must decline.  I've done thorough research on the different surgery types and consulted with my doctors and I am convinced that I am on the right path to long term success.

I can't expect you to understand the day to day realities of living with morbid obesity and the futility of fighting against a screwed up metabolism.  You might want to do some research yourself on the statistics of morbidly obese people who successfully maintain weight loss without surgical intervention.  While you're doing that, also look at the co-morbidity's and shortened life span associated with carrying around the extra weight.

I am doing this for my health.  My decision was not made lightly.  I would love to have your support while I go through this process, but if you are unable to do so, I understand.  I just ask that you refrain from making any negative comments about it.  Some people are against bariatric surgery because they actually don't know that much about it, just things that they've heard or seen on TV.  If you are interested in learning the facts about my surgery, I'll be happy to point you to some good reference material.

I love you too.


ETA:  I just went back and re-read your previous posts.  I didn't realize you were post op.  Has your sister seen you since your surgery?  Has someone perhaps said that you were losing weight and she decided she wanted to help you? 

Ummm – I wouldn’t be offended.  She’s concerned and doesn’t know how it feels to be you – and she probably never really will ‘get it’.

 

From what I read, she didn’t attack the surgery – she’s probably just fearful for you. 

 

Me?  I’d take the free food – I’m just wrong like that.

@ Me?  I’d take the free food – I’m just wrong like that.

Why respond?  Don't aggravate yourself.  You've made the right decision for you.  There is no reason to get caught up in who agrees and who disagrees with your life decisions. 

Her suggestions come from years of advertising what we already know does not work in the long term.  You do not owe anyone an explanation.  It does not matter if she or your mom don't get it.  Focus on you and making your decision work for you. 

It took  me a while to figure out to not be easily offended by what anyone does/say or what they may try to do to get a reaction out of me.  I agree that it does not sound like she is attacking WLS.  However, I would politely tell her I appreciate your offer but  I have made my decision and I plan to proceed and that you love her too.

Thank you for your concern, however I am pusuing the path that is right for me.This is MY journey...and let it go! LOL..... dear sis loves you alot and also has too much time on her hands!! My mother is like that.

Let it go.  My husband is fearful of surgery that's the only reason he second guessed my surgery.  So many people are convinced you are going to die on the operating table.   I'm sure you sister meant no harm.  It's nice she's offering to help.  I would have jumped at someone paying for a 6 month weightloss program for me.  I probably would have finished it instead stopping around month 3 like I usually do on my own. 

I personally have a loved one right now that I am watching get bigger and bigger and just don't know what to do.  I have cried over it, so I believe this comes from love. 

That said, I'd be a bit irked by the choice of communication.  I'm not a fan of text, email anything expecially when it's the type of conversation deserves a face to face.  Don't be offended, have the conversation with her, it can't hurt anything if you've already got the situation under control.