Keeping my eye on the 40 by 5/24/2010 - Updated 4:00am EST 12/25

7:30pm EST

Disclaimer: These are my plan and activity...and might not be suitable for others.

Wheeeewww Lawd! This has been a rough day. I have been going non-stop since I left the house. I am definitely going to need to post in the am so that I can have some plan for the day. I did not get off to a good day. Only because I did the worse possible thing by stepping on that dayum scale.  It read 222.4.  Now I know dayum good and well that I have not gained 2 pounds based on my activity and intake yesterday.  The scale is the  and I need to stay my azz off it as much as possible. This could have been very discouraging if it had been like a week but I know that our body weight tends to fluctuate when you make a change in diet.   l instead need to take my measurements.  They will be a more reliable predictor of my actual progress.  While 40 pounds is definitely my goal.  I am saying that a size 10-12 is my goal size right now.  Right now I am 220s, 5'8" and wearing 18s...some 16s. I started my morning with breakfast consisting of 3 strips of turkey bacon and some applesauce, supps with H20.  I spent most of the morning doing laundry and sorting clothes for our upcoming trip.  I has to rush out after calling my surgeons office and finding out that they were closing at 11:30am.  I needed to get more B-12, Calcium Citrate, Lemon Meringue and Peanut Butter Protein Bars and Peach Mango Protein Drink (all have 15gms protein per serving).

After leaving there, my Daugherty and I rushed around to a few stores...picking up last minute gear. and gifts.  Shes going to have to hold onto her coat until we return. I know after Xmas I will be able to get it for next to nothing.

Traffic was crazy......we were out for a few hours....so we broke open  the protein bars.  I had a Peanut Butter Bar and shared a Lemon Meringue with her about a hour later.  She had her breakfast later them me...so she was really not hungry...just wanted it because it was there.

Stop in the beauty supply place to get moisturizer for the girls hair....walked out with my first Laced Front Wig...LOL! and I am suppose to be going natural and bald after the New Year! I might wear it around in Houston to see how I feel. Its not so cold there...so maybe it wont be so bad.

The lace front wig looks good though!!! What will they think of next....
 
I told my girlfriend that I was going to make her and her girls dinner since I was off.  I really wanted to do something nice for her especially since she has been helping me out with the girls after school. I wonder why of all the things I could have done for her....it had to deal with food. Just making a mental note to myself because I don't want food to be the center of my thoughts any longer.  Before I could retract...I had already committed and she was thrilled that she would get a rest for the day ron cooking.   

i figured its not going to hurt me to cook a large meal...because  i will take it all over her house and leave the leftover since we are leaving out of town tomorrow.

I cooked Pot Roast, Spare Ribs, Mac N Cheese, Candied Yams, Potatoes and Greenbeans, Cornbread.  I sampled sparingly as I prepared...not gon lie....I figure we are talking a 100 calories if that of sampling. I did not want to take come jacked up dish over there..

Its funny because the whole day...I have been thinking about this post and the fact that I did not want to mess up.  Just knowing that I will have to report here does help tremendously.

I am actually over my friend house now.  We ate not too long ago.  I had a full serving of the Pot roast (3-4oz) and a bite or two of everything else. I figure I spent about 700 calories on this meal.  My goal is 1200-1400 calories a day.

My Nutritional Stats in Fitday.com are as follows:

	Unit	Actual Intake	Min Budget	Max Budget	%-RDA
Calories	kcals	0.0	1,000.0	1,500.0	0
Fat	g	0.0	25.0	37.0	0
Carbohydrate	g	0.0	0.0	20.0	0
Protein	g	0.0	71.0	80.0	0
Calcium	mg	0.0	1,000.0	1,065.0	0
Iron	mg	0.0	5.0	7.0	0

I have already talked to my cousin and she know about my goal.  She has an exercise room in  her house plus she says there is a nice running trail nearby....in case we want to walk.

Outside of the activity of running around today....I did not get in any planned exercise. Probably ill not getting any tomorrow due to travel ling to Philly to catch our flight.  The difference is that I know that its something that I must do when I can reasonably do it.  In light of my travel arrangements, I will give myself grace until I settle in Houston. I am heading to Walmart before they close...and the I need to get home to finish packing.

I will post in the am to get my plan ahead of me.  The only things I will allow myself the rest of the night is water.

Til tomorrow.       .  

12:01am EST Xmas Morning

At my 11-7 gig.(work with Mentally challenged folks)....tempted and conjured by a Mint Nutty Buddy .  I set myself up by not having a snack earlier plus I really only consumed about 1100 calories before this indulgence.  I know that my regular exercise will be a huge help. When I lost before....I hated to mess up because it felt like I was giving the exercise back...and I did not like that feeling.

3:41am EST

See ..see this is part of my problem. Note to self Lisa......do not ...do not eat anything past 9pm....no matter how you feel. Drink Water....Drink Water. I am regretting that sugar laced snack. I had dozed off and now feel like I have a hangover. It does not feel right.  Why did I eat that junk when I know that it was not good for me. 

What had happened was...I got hungry and went a rooting like a dayum mole in a yam hole.  Opened up the strange freezer from hell....why do I call it that....because I did not know what was in there.  As soon as I opened it up and saw that nutty buddy...it was over! It was a flashback to the Evander Holyfield and Mike Tyson fight.  I had to bite off that Nutty Buddy's ear!!! I was temporarily crazy!!!! but  went down for the count.   I was not rational...LOL!.... My  side of my mind said...FUKK IT! One nutty butty is not going to hurt a thing. The side of my mind was napping.  I have to do whatever possible to keep my sane side of mind awake so that it can  the .  Ya'll might think I am crazy...but this is helping me ...I am changing my thought process. Ever time I get into a losing cycle...it involves some type of transformation of my thought process. I have to visualize myself conquering myself...if that makes sense.

What can I do to prevent this from happening again. Bring a snack. I had bought all that nutritious stuff yesterday....but because I was busy packing and all....I had to rush to work and did not bring my snack. The thing that I know that prevents me from setting myself up!!!

Plan...Plan is the #1 key for weight loss. #2 will be exercise....I know that if I had got in some execise yesterday.  I would actually feel myself burning fat at this time of night. I don't know about  ya'll but I can feel myself burning when I am losing. Some people may not be aware of the feeling.  Its a very motivating feeling!!!

Now you see my pattern... I am becoming more AWARE of my setback.  I see why I can't lose.  I am bringing things back into control....becoming saner when it comes to food.