Friends DO CHANGE!!

Hi everyone
Haven't posted in awhile because of new job, back in school, just busy but always looking through here.

Well after the weight loss I notice my very best friend since fifth grade changed. I thought it was me but others said no I am still the same. Since  I have gone down 135 pounds my so called best friend would say girl I will call you there is a party at such n such. I get excited plan for a sitter and all and then suddenly I don't hear from her, vm pops on, this happened twice in the past month. Finally we meet at her moms for Sunday dinner--nothing but negative comments toward me..."why did you bring that dish, you have little feet, when I walk in a room she walks in another, her new boyfriend saw a before picture of me hanging on the fireplace, "man she sure does look good, pretty before but gee"...and her eyebrows rise.

All in all....TIME FOR NEW FOUND FRIENDS I am happy for loosing weight...but it really cost me a bff. I will find one again someday..people did warn me!

you know it is so sad how your friends change when you lose a little weight. Makes you wonder if they were really your friends at all.  Now that her boyfriend thinks that you look good watch out she is about ready to pick a cat fight over something so stupid.  My advice is kill her with kindness and let her stand in your shadow because you are the star of this show.  Get new friends and do not let her discourage you one bit  she is sooooooo jealous of you right now and it may hurt but trust me you will be better off.  Shake them haters off and do not let any negativity in your life.

Thank goodness you were warned and knew to expect it.  I was the token big girl when a couple of my prior friends went out and the designated driver because I only drin****asionally.  I stop receiving the calls to go out.  It was hard to deal with because I actually thought I was their friend only to realize I was with them to make them look good and/or feel better about themselves.  I wish you continued success along your journey.

Prior to surgery I was planning a wedding and I had 6 girls (2 family 1 my BFF for life and 3 girlfriends) Now none of the 3 girlfriends are around...My BFF who has always been small convinced me to get the surgery and she has been there ever since and is more excited in the transformation than I am...I know it was not me but along with losing the weight many other good things were happening in my life: I purchased a new house, I started Grad school, and I had a good man and was getting a lot of attention from EVERYBODY...I have always been confident and considered attractive but multiply that a few times and you have trouble...I am the same person and I always give my friends props but some people cannot handle it and unfortunately that is their problem.

You are right some people can't handle it. Thanks for the advice you all!!!

Oh, I so agree with the other posters. 

We eventually learn who our "real" friends are.  I don't have many friends, but the person I considered my closest friend has drifted away since I had surgery.  Whenever we would all get together, there would be comments about how good I looked and how I've changed.  Her husband would always compliment me and say how dedicated I was to achieving my goals and etc.  I soon learned, the attention I was getting was not liked very much.  We used to txt often during the week and go out maybe once a month to do a couples outing.  After several negative comments like "you're too skinny, you need to gain some weight, you're not going to look right my size and etc., the outings have halted and the txting doesn't happen much.  We might touch base once a month through a txt but that's it.  I was really hurt but I've learned to accept it.  I'm happy about the new me and it doesn't matter what she or my other so called friends think!

Hang in there . Im going thru it now!

Hi jnaturalcutie............I like Ybailey's response to kill her with kindness!  Nothing squashes negativity like flipping the script and being the bigger/stand-up person.  She's clearly threatened by your new confidence and physical beauty that was always there, just hidden under the now gone forever weight.  If there is any glimmer of rekindling the friendship you once had, it will surface or vanish.  Either way you walk away from it knowing that you were still your genuine self.

J

Is she overweight?  I have a friend that was much smaller than me and now I'm smaller than her.  I also have a cousin who would call me all the time, but since the surgery (she's also very overweight) she hasn't called AT ALL.  Not even to find out how I was doing right after the surgery.  She told my sister that I took the "easy way out".  This has by NO MEANS been easy! 
I keep those like them at a distance.  They will NOT steal my JOY!

I had a friend like this once before, and what I realized while evaluated our friendship is that she was always jealous of me.  Why?  I don't know, but actions, attitudes, and behaviors I brushed off before made themselves visible through the darkness and showed she was never a true friend to begin with.