Christian Question...

Why is it that the hardest people to be friends with are our so called "christian" friends? The ones that we go to church with OR better those bible quoting saints?

I say that because I've been raised in church all of my life and Ive seen somethings/people come and go.. However, some of the phoniest "friendships" that I've encountered are the ones that claim to be saved and sanctified?! Those the claim to be the "true" christians?! I'm disgusted on how much bashing and crooked eyes I've seen and heard.

However,  I seem to have the most quality, true and real friendship with those that I grew up with and those that is not in the church all the time.

Now don't get me wrong- Im not blasting no one nor is trying to make Christianity look bad because I consider myself a christian. But I'm the type of person that will be friends with those that look down or people frown at..  No, noone is perfect at all- However, I do expect more and better from us christian folks!!

Where the problem comes in is exactly that, you expect more & better from Christian folks.  We tend to forget what Christian really means; it means someone who is following the teachings of Christ.  It doesn't mean they have perfected it, we are all simply works in progress.  Everybody's battling something.

And always remember that all church going folks ain't saved, some of them simply go to church!  They just prefer to hang out at church instead of the club.  Same mentality, different spot.  The best thing you can do for those folks is to pray for them,  separate yourself from the mess and do what you know is right.  Then as my mom always taught me, you can show 'em betta' than you can tell 'em.

We have Christians in name.  They talk a lot and wear it as a badge of honor.  Then we have Christians at heart, who live the faith in everything they do.  You know the ones that talk the talk cause they don't ever shut up.  You can actually feel the positive vibrations in those that try to actually live The Word day by day.  To paraphrase St Francis, preach the Gospel daily but only use words if you have to.  There is no bull **** from the true Christian working to live the faith. 

I agree with everything said thus far.  I understand why you feel that as Christians we should be different.  You're right.  We should be.  We are to come out from amongst them, but I have learned that people are people.  We are all growing and being changed by God, line by line, brick by brick.  He is breaking us and making us new.

I have always said that a body of believers/a church is like an emergency room for hurting souls.  Often churches draw to them the most broken, jacked up, shattered, marginalized and forgotten among us, but that is what Jesus said, that He didn't come for the healthy, He came for the sick, the broken, the hurting and the sinner.  Unfortunately, it takes some time for the healing and in the meantime, immature, stiff necked Christians can behave just like the world and hurt others callously.  Hurting people hurt people, but when we yield to God and He changes us, we learn to walk in His love, strength and peace and we no longer hurt ourselves or others, or at least we do it far less. 

I agree with M.S.W, when you are around a true believer, filled to the brim with the Holy Spirit and who is living Gods word and walking in Gods amazing grace, you can just feel it.  The Holy Spirit just pours from them.  So, that is what I strive to do.  I ask God for more of Him and less of me.  I try to comfort, edify and exhort.  I work to love my neighbor and I let go of the hurt and drama and just move past it.  I'm sorry you got hurt. I just ask that you pray on it and work towards forgiveness.  Don't let your blessing be blocked by offense. 

I hope you do not mind that I am chiming in. I so understand what you are saying. I grew up in church since I was 4. At age 20 walked away totally did not set foot in a church or open a bible for anyone. Thanking God my mother is a praying woman. nearly 21 years later I am back with a relationship with God. I think that is the difference. My friends who went to church on the regular judged me. My friends who had a relationship with God did not. They always loved me no matter what I did. No one is perfect except God,  We have a tendancy to judge. I wish we did not. I have had to continually tell myself that I do not have a right to judge anyone, That is God's job. I know this may not have given you an answer to your question but I hope and pray it helps you to know we all go through this. We try to put our faith in man and forget that we are human.

God bless
Karyn

Yeah KS, I like that avie.  UMC?

Not UMC necessarily, I just love the avator. To me it is all the same, If you love God then that is all that really matters. God Bless you

Karyn

  this topic truly tickles me.  I have a holy friend that tries to look down her nose at me - I've NEVER been one to be preachy - now I do KNOW the word...... however......on my BEST day - I'm a sinner, so I know better than to ever judge.......

and I know it takes more than holy water to 'be right' - heck, if you throw some on me you'll get a free sauna treatment!!!!  LMAO - lemme get back to my prayin.....

Givin honor and glory to pastor, deacon, everyones, everyones....... thank yall for letting me visit the Mt. Ebenezer Rolling Round tha Rock Holy Episcopal Lutheran Epistolic Catabolic Chocoholic AME CME WNBA Baptist Church......

Girl, you can't expect people to be anything but what they are...that is why my expectations of folks are generally low!!! It's kind of like people expecting a preacher to be a God among men...it ain't happening!!! Are these people in YOUR church, or are you just talking church in general?! I SO hear what you are saying...in the past, I have felt that some of those who have judged me the WORST were those so-called "Bible quoting saints". I take people as they are...their beliefs are not my business. I have made a couple of awesome friends at church...but I didn't go there looking for them. There are all kind of decent people in the world that do good and never set FOOT inside of a church.

Valena- Im talking in general AND some folk in the church that i attend.. I just expect more from people that are in leadership or taking on some type of leadership role.  (not the pastor or wife). No,  I don't expect for them to act like Jesus Christ himself or be perfect, but some do dang near self proclaim it!! (you see i said self proclaim)...  

We often hear churches talk about act out in love and wanting the church to be a loving church, etc... Its usually more of the so called "seasoned" folks- who feel they can teach me a thing or too because they been in this journey longer than i have- that be so nasty. Attitude and all.. 

See my honey is the total opposite of me. I sit back and observe EVERYTHING and EVERYONE!! I dont put nothing past anyone-so I always keep my guard up cause of past church hurt. However, my hubby- he is the people person. He loves to have friends, do bbq,  basically do get togethers. He loves to mingle..  We would be in church and I would see where he would go up to someone in church (someone that I've known for a while) and speak- they would give him a phoney smile or wave. Then i would see them turn around and make weird faces to their friends as like- WTF?! That type of deal..

I actually even confronted a few people in the past because of their funky attitudes towards him. See they dont do it to me because I'm considered "serious looking" all the time and I dont look approachable.  Naw, thats because those "folks" are messy.