SIstas, say it ain't so.....
Over the holidays, a friend asked me to review her email response to her man and give my honest opinion.
Why?
This young dude had the most endearing personality of any young cat under 35 that i've met in a long time. And he treated my friend like absolute royalty.
People make trade offs in relationships all the time, depending of what's important to them. Some women will happily accept a butt ugly man if his wallet is big enough. Some men will happily support a gold digger if they think she looks good.
Maybe it's the first time she's had anybody to treat her like this and it's important to her to keep it. She's going about it the wrong way. She should, instead, treat him with the same kindness that he shows to her. If they are meant to be together, it will happen naturally. If she feels like she has to pretend to be dumb to be with him, he has either shown signs of jealousy/insecurity or she has had this problem with other men and is projecting this unfairly on him. Either way, it does not bode well for her relationship.
"and one would assume that if he cannot write properly then he has the same problem articulating his thoughts in words?" "yes." "and you think that's a good thing" She let out a heavy sigh.
One of my ex-boyfriends has a PhD in engineering and is a scientist. He is also an emotionally immature mama's boy. Formal education and character don't necessarily equate.
@One of my ex-boyfriends has a PhD in engineering and is a scientist. He is also an emotionally immature mama's boy. Formal education and character don't necessarily equate.
Nope, I'll never "dumb down" to a brother who is not at my level...I communicate on the same level - ALWAYS!
This is an interesting topic - I married a man who had only a 9th grade education (I did go to college, but did not earn a degree). The difference between us was, yep, you guesed it...night and day! He knew I was well-versed and could hold my own in a conversation; however, I knew that he was not - as a matter of fact, there were many times when we were out with friends that I would cringe and pray that he wouldn't open up his mouth too much and speak - because he would say words that absolutely did NOT exist; or, he would say words that were not within the context of a simple sentence!
Anyway, it wasn't until we were married that I realized he was jealous of my accomplishments. Not only was he jealous, but he used to tell me "you think you're better than me..." that would tick me off to no end...but I still supported him. After a while, I realized that this man could barely read! How in the world did he work on a job that he retired from - with a reading level of a 1st or 2nd grader? I then had to understand that he left school to support his family after his father left his mother and children behind...he grew up in the south...the man had to do what he had to do and did the best he could - this was why I really did not hold it against him. However, when he began to down me and negate my accomplishments because of his jealousy, that is when the downward slide of my marriage began...thus, we are no longer together...and my divorce is almost final.
Fast forward to today - I have reunited with my sons' father...he is not a genius, but he has smarts in so many ways. He is an AWESOME auto mechanic...and is an expert when it comes to concrete, etc. - he PRAISES my accomplishments all the time...and is my biggest cheerleader! He will be the first to say to a person - "It pays to have a SMART woman by your side!" I love him for it...it makes me his biggest cheerleader as well.
So...no dumbing down for me...if I love a guy for WHO he is...and not WHAT he is (education, etc.) and he is a good guy, well, if he wants, I would do anything to HELP the brother get where he wants to be, if it means bringing him 'up to code.'
That's my 25 cents!
DD
Still, I find a smart man sexy.
^5!
You know Donnie I have a totally different take on this situation....I'd call your friend extremely creative
It must be hard for her being that educated to "dumb down" a letter...With that said you mention homeboy treats her well and makes her happy...she is afforded what most women aren't, he understands her....she gets her point across without having to necessarily be "right"
I'm also willing to be that when she writes him letters that she tries different ways of doing things that he will notice and possibly look up....I see women here talking about how they did that before but the man was jealous of them...he probably isn't because she isn't trying to upstage him per se...it probably makes him feel good to have a woman that is on point in her outside life, yet he understands her...He's probably brags about how well is woman does yet she can relate to me, he knows he has a prize
I'm sayin' words written on a paper...are that, its how one treats you that truly matters....I guess I kinda equate it to my "whiting down or ghetto downing something"
Okay I going on and on....that was just my take....I find it interesting too that most of the women on here are single, waiting on mr right....but you didn't hear that from me....LOL Matters of the heart have no explanations....none at all
