Just Gotta Share...The Worst Attempt to Pick Me Up

OMG I honestly believe this was the worst one yet....I swear this happened today!

So I'm in the thrift shop looking at the sheets (need table cloth for birthday party) so anyway this Mexican dude walks up squeezin' pillows as if he was really interested in linen

Him: You speaka s-pan-YO??

Me: No..only english

Him: Ohhhhh I see I only speaka s-pan-YO....do you have kids

Me: Yes, 3 and one grandchild

Him: Ohhhhhhhh I see...you have husband? *folding up a sheet*

Me: No

Him: Ohhhhhhh but why choo are so beautiful.....can I give you my phone, so you call me...just friends okay???

Me: No

Him: Why you have no husband?

Me: Because my girlfriend wouldn't like that very much *folding up sheet*

Him: Huh you only like girls...you have sex with girls...but why? *looking seriously perplexed*

Me: (*thinking* this mofo sho' is speakin' some good azz english) Now why are you asking me personal questions..that's not nice

Him: Ohhhhhhhhhh I'm sorry...I'm sorry.....So, you only have sex with girls?

Now mind you by this time I have moved onto the kitchen stuff...and this mofo is playin' fatal attraction for real! I'm looking at the movies...so he decides to pick up a movie and start "small talk"

Him: Soooooooo you like sex with girls

Me: Well I did tell you I am a lesbian

Him: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh I see....so you don't like big diock

*tire skirrrttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt*

Hold up Nooooooo this mofo didn't just ask me if I like big diock in plain clear english!!!!

The bigger question are however...was that suppose to be the magic pill to turn me straight? Was that suppose to make me want him even more?? WTF Man???

Me: Dude seriously you were wrong for that and if I did want some big diock I doubt very seriously if you had one...if you want to prove me wrong be my guest and whip it out now

Him: Ohhhhhhh I'm sorry....I'm sorry

Me *head snap finger in the air walk away to the register to pay for my shiot*

I really couldn't believe that! I just wonder if that line of "artistry" is ever effective on a female...I really do...Like are there some women that actually fall for shiot like that??

As I walked out the store *looking over my shoulder* I couldn't help but laugh...but in reality that was pretty tragic that one has such a lame game like that...Poor thing..God bless him little heart.....LMAOOOOOOOOO

 

LMAO, he sure knew a lot of words not to speak englsh!

OKAYYYYYYYYY he was talkin' more to me than I was to him!!

Girl I guess that is the only english he knows....itd be interesting to see him try and holla at the next female though....LOL

Kinfolk I can't even think of a pic to post here without being ban from BAF... That is some funny SCHITT!!!

I dare you to post one!!!!!!!

Ju no speek-a de Eeengleeesh?  Ah no ju no laka de' beeg deek, but how about de leetel mexican deek? 


bwhahahahaaa....Ro, this is funny.   

<=======flatlined

Ohhhhhhhhhh noooooooooo D that is exactly how he sound!! bwahhahhahhhhhhhh

I couldn't believe that shiot....really dude this is your pick-up line...really????

I tell you, Ro, for an admitted lesbian, you have a way with the menfolk, hon. lol

I know....telling men who I AM *whew* brings some shiot out in men *smh*

         These are the type of men that see you as a challenge because of your sexual orentiation and in the case of straight women, some others try to rationalize WHY you had the audacity to turn them down, especially when they find out you aren't married.  This is definately a global pandemic!  Regardless of culture or nationality, you'll find men with these two types of rationale everywhere. 

I was in Paris one time being stalked by a oogly skinhead trailer trash looking frenchie.  He finally got the nerve to approach me.  I got asked the usual rundown "are you married, do you have a boyfriend...  So, I guess I passed his test, cause he then asked me out. I said no & he suddenly turned into a broken record. He'd ask my why & my reply was "cause I'm not interested".  He looked like a deer  caught in headlights.  So, he finally fell quiet & stood there looking all perplexed for a moment or 2, then a lightbulb went off in his head.  You know what his rationale was?  The only logical reason for me turning him down was because I'm gay!  umm, yeah ok, whatever dude .  I've had similar situations happen in Hawaii & in Italy.