Piggyback off of Donnie's Post
Good Morning,
I was reading Donnie's post the other day. He makes a lot of good points. I was thinking, however, that many of my brothers aren't really pulling our weight when it comes to the wonderful world of relationships. On another site, a female friend of mine found and posted the following list. I thought I'd share it with my brothers. While I don't agree with ALL of these, many make sense. Maybe my sisters can get something out of this as well. :)
1.) A REAL MAN respects his mother and places his family first.
2.) A REAL MAN RAISES HIS KIDS, not JUST out of pocket either.
3.) A REAL MAN supports his woman when she wants to develop herself.
4.) A REAL MAN doesn't worry about what others depict as a real man. Walk in his shoes first and then tell him what makes him A REAL MAN.
5.) A REAL MAN doesn't Break Promises
6.) A REAL MAN calls a woman "beautiful", not ******y, or fine as ****
8.) A REAL MAN CALLS his lady on a daily basis - NO MATTER HOW BUSY OR TIRED HE IS.
9.) A REAL MAN looks past what he's heard about her or what his friends think of her.
10.) A REAL MAN wants to spend as much time as he can with his lady & won't get sick of her.
11.) A REAL MAN comes over just to watch movies with her.
12.) A REAL MAN kisses his lady/gives her presents "just because".
13.) A REAL MAN doesn't tell you what he thinks you want to hear. He tells you what's real.
14.) A REAL MAN should be TREATED like one.
15.) A REAL MAN doesn't ask questions when you say you need something....him, sex, money, or a bed to sleep in.
16.) A REAL MAN lets others know How He Feels About you.
17.) A REAL MAN doesn't play games
18.) A REAL MAN doesn't leave you to go and hang out with his friends if he hasn't seen you in a week and then call you at 4 in the morning because he needs some loving.
19.) A REAL MAN doesn't deny you constantly.
20.) A REAL MAN doesn't just think about sex.
21.) A REAL MAN Doesn't Judge the book by the cover.
22.) A REAL MAN wouldn't use his friendship card to get what he wants.
23.) A REAL MAN knows the difference between a REAL WOMAN and a random girl.
24.) A REAL MAN won't degrade a woman with words nor will he ever put his hands on her in anger.
Ok...having shared this, I'd love to hear / read what you think.
I was reading Donnie's post the other day. He makes a lot of good points. I was thinking, however, that many of my brothers aren't really pulling our weight when it comes to the wonderful world of relationships. On another site, a female friend of mine found and posted the following list. I thought I'd share it with my brothers. While I don't agree with ALL of these, many make sense. Maybe my sisters can get something out of this as well. :)
1.) A REAL MAN respects his mother and places his family first.
2.) A REAL MAN RAISES HIS KIDS, not JUST out of pocket either.
3.) A REAL MAN supports his woman when she wants to develop herself.
4.) A REAL MAN doesn't worry about what others depict as a real man. Walk in his shoes first and then tell him what makes him A REAL MAN.
5.) A REAL MAN doesn't Break Promises
6.) A REAL MAN calls a woman "beautiful", not ******y, or fine as ****
8.) A REAL MAN CALLS his lady on a daily basis - NO MATTER HOW BUSY OR TIRED HE IS.
9.) A REAL MAN looks past what he's heard about her or what his friends think of her.
10.) A REAL MAN wants to spend as much time as he can with his lady & won't get sick of her.
11.) A REAL MAN comes over just to watch movies with her.
12.) A REAL MAN kisses his lady/gives her presents "just because".
13.) A REAL MAN doesn't tell you what he thinks you want to hear. He tells you what's real.
14.) A REAL MAN should be TREATED like one.
15.) A REAL MAN doesn't ask questions when you say you need something....him, sex, money, or a bed to sleep in.
16.) A REAL MAN lets others know How He Feels About you.
17.) A REAL MAN doesn't play games
18.) A REAL MAN doesn't leave you to go and hang out with his friends if he hasn't seen you in a week and then call you at 4 in the morning because he needs some loving.
19.) A REAL MAN doesn't deny you constantly.
20.) A REAL MAN doesn't just think about sex.
21.) A REAL MAN Doesn't Judge the book by the cover.
22.) A REAL MAN wouldn't use his friendship card to get what he wants.
23.) A REAL MAN knows the difference between a REAL WOMAN and a random girl.
24.) A REAL MAN won't degrade a woman with words nor will he ever put his hands on her in anger.
Ok...having shared this, I'd love to hear / read what you think.
Well good morning D!
(deactivated member)
on 11/18/09 10:58 pm
on 11/18/09 10:58 pm
Ayy yo,
First and foremost, I never liked the notion of women (any woman) trying to define what a real man is/does/thinks/etc... No matter what list they come up with, it's always aimed at black men the same way the 3/5 Compromise was used to classify us men and it's always aimed at us black men.
Let's face it, a black man is just like any other so-called race of man - a man; but I strongly feel that he gives up that right be called such when he willingly fails to respect himself, fails to have dignity for himself; fails to uphold his family values and upbringing regardless of who's in charge of the household, and fails to willingly make a contribution in some small positive way to the young men and women coming up after him.
In regards to the black woman and all of her multi-faceted splendor, a black man should respect her for the beautiful jewel that she is - even if her attitude and actions that she displays makes her seem a lot less beautiful than she really is.
Just random thoughts that I had this morning.
(deactivated member)
on 11/19/09 12:03 am - ~Somewhere in~, PA
on 11/19/09 12:03 am - ~Somewhere in~, PA
Yanno...Ay you bring up a good point black women have been "stereotyped" as being mean, *****y and having "attitude" problems, but IN REAL LIFE , me nor none of MY friends exhibit those behaviors especially when dealing with men in general.
Now I am sure there are those GHETTO type loud mouth women who scares both some men and women..LOL, but in general most black women that I know are not the "head shaking" mean spirited women. Some black men SAY that that was their reasoning to turning to "others" to date/marry, but I think it is a LOT more deeper than that...coz black men have A LOT of "supply of black women to choose from and they don't hafta choose the "ghetto loud mouth women" have to date outside their race in order to find a GOOD BLACK WOMEN...
BUT black men are choosing others to date/marry in droves and have been doing it for the last 30 years...NOW black women who WANT a NICE fulfilling life is left with hardly NO GOOD black men to choose from if SHE WANTS A GOOD LIFE...and if she choose to go to the other side and date outside of her race SHE SHOULD NOT BE ostracize or criticized for being happy....just my 2 cents.
Now I am sure there are those GHETTO type loud mouth women who scares both some men and women..LOL, but in general most black women that I know are not the "head shaking" mean spirited women. Some black men SAY that that was their reasoning to turning to "others" to date/marry, but I think it is a LOT more deeper than that...coz black men have A LOT of "supply of black women to choose from and they don't hafta choose the "ghetto loud mouth women" have to date outside their race in order to find a GOOD BLACK WOMEN...
BUT black men are choosing others to date/marry in droves and have been doing it for the last 30 years...NOW black women who WANT a NICE fulfilling life is left with hardly NO GOOD black men to choose from if SHE WANTS A GOOD LIFE...and if she choose to go to the other side and date outside of her race SHE SHOULD NOT BE ostracize or criticized for being happy....just my 2 cents.
(deactivated member)
on 11/19/09 12:24 am
on 11/19/09 12:24 am
@ BUT black men are choosing others to date/marry in droves and have been doing it for the last 30 years...I take it you're already including other men (black or otherwise) here in this statement so I won't judge.
NOW black women who WANT a NICE fulfilling life is left with hardly NO GOOD black men to choose from
Here ye! Here ye! The 60's and 70's are done and gone. You are now free to marry whoever or whatever you choose. Go on and make a Ninja proud.if SHE WANTS A GOOD LIFE...
Trying hard not to sound like a cliche here, Luv, but Marriage does not necessarily equal a good life.
It simply doesn't.and if she choose to go to the other side and date outside of her race SHE SHOULD NOT BE ostracize or criticized for being happy....just my 2 cents
Nor should she care if others don't like it but if she does then therein lies 99% of the problem.
.
ahhhh damn!!!I didn't know I wasn't supposed to like the 4 am call.... hell - I been out with my firends too and need a lil nooky to put me to sleep........
I don't just have issues, I have subscriptions! I'm saving on the newsstand price....... 
Check out my dating mis - adventures at: http://1macdatinggame.blogspot.com/
See,
I like that this is sparking some sort of conversation.
I don't totally agree with the notion of lists, either. As I said before, some make sense, and others I don't agree with.
A.A.
You're right in that most of the time, we do have lists dictating was "real men" are and aren't. Granted, I have my own idea what a "real man" is / does. I did manage to ask my friend if she had a "real woman" list...just out of curiousity. I'm still waiting patiently.
I like that this is sparking some sort of conversation.
I don't totally agree with the notion of lists, either. As I said before, some make sense, and others I don't agree with.
A.A.
You're right in that most of the time, we do have lists dictating was "real men" are and aren't. Granted, I have my own idea what a "real man" is / does. I did manage to ask my friend if she had a "real woman" list...just out of curiousity. I'm still waiting patiently.
(deactivated member)
on 11/19/09 12:36 am
on 11/19/09 12:36 am
Maaaaan... They hit us men up with those "What a real man is..." lists in poetry, songs, newspaper articles, letters to magazines, you name it. Whenever an angry sista has an axe to grind about a her man or the men in her life, we all get our "chestnuts" roasted over an open fire.I'm just glad some of these sistas don't have to give me my personal yearly review for being a man on the job in the couples line of work. Not only would I get fired for some of these items. Hell, I'd be escorted out of the relationship and thrown out on the street by security.
Most Active
Recent Topics
