OT: Paternity question

Hi,
if a biological father has established paternity to a child (his child) is the child given the father's last name or does the mother reserve the right to give her child her last name?

I ask because I am watching Nancy Grace and am CONVINCED that the father is NOT squeaky clean. Everyone is rallying around him as this great father but the EVIDENCE already proves that the whole custody thing was never done legally to begin with since he is saying that he knew nothing about the drugs and the drug bust that had taken place...someone needs to be asking the father how could he NOT investigate the environment that he was releasing his child to. For that reason alone someone need to be charging his ass for FAILURE to protect the child. Anyone else would've been charged. Okay I am venting, ranting, and trying to solve the crime my damned self.

And WHYYYYY did he bring his ass out the house and start whispering to his son giving the interview with Nancy Grace???

ETA: Damned in my rant I missed giving the point to the whole question.

I asked about paternity because had the custody matter been resolved in court from the BEGINNING after birth, the law states that the father MUST establish paternity and usually if the father has full custody then he or she takes on HIS last name. Shaniya had her mother's last name. This is the very example of how the ole'fashioned "Imma send the child to live with whomeva can backfire legally for someone even if they did the right thing.

You're really convince that the dad had something to do with this hideous crime huh?

To answer your question.... My son's biological father paid for a paternity test when my son was '2", test results came back that it was 99.9 percent chance he was the father. I later put child support on his father and one of the conditions of the child support from his 'father" was that my son had his last name. I told the judge "Okay no problem" although underneath my breath I said his last name will change when my son was old enough to go downtown and change it.

FAST FORWARD.........

Court records show my son legal last name as "His fathers" and anything else his birth certificate, college records, driver license STILL to this day "20" years later still show my maiden last name. 

I am of those people who still believe to this day UNLESS we're married my child will have my last name PERIOD.

Thanks for the clarification Rhonda.

To answer your question, I do not think that her father was involved in her death, but I do feel that her father was responsible for her well being and based on the reports of his own words regarding turning over custody he obviously did not do one of the main things necessary to ensure her safety. He stated that had he known about the drugs and drug bust that he never would've sent her to live with her mother. I believe him, BUT nothing was done legally, meaning through the courts.

Back when I did fostercare I had two brothers who were the brother of a child that I had guardianship of a year before. The child that I had guardianship of was living with his Biological Grandfather Grandmother after they agreed to raise him after my guardianship expired. We went to court and the Judge modified the guardianship and told the grandparents that if there were any changes that they would need to petition the court..

Welllll...after the biological mother lost custody of her other 5 children, she eventually lost her parental rights and the children all went to live with their fathers. The little boy was still with his grandparents and the mother moved to another state. Later she asked for her son and the grandparents sent him to her. Since the mother had left Michigan, the new state had no idea of her past regarding her children. She went on to have 3 more children and was living happily ever after untillll she caught a child neglect case in the new state. It wasn't until then that they learned of her Michigan history although some (including me) tried to make the courts here and there aware. She of course lost all the children who have since been adopted out. In the meantime the grandparents got into BIG TIME trouble over sending the boy to his mother knowing the legal requirement.

Sorry for the length...but unless the laws differ in N. Carolina, I can see him being charged in the near future. Even if he is innocent of the outcome, he is guilty of endangering the child even if it was unknowingly. Had he done things legally then he would be free and clear.

**** I am of those people who still believe to this day UNLESS we're married my child will have my last name PERIOD. ****

Now see ... a lady after my own heart.  I've had people tell me I was wrong for this

for years.  But sorry that's how I feel too.  My baby ain't gonna sport nobody's name who ain't raising him.

If the parents are not married . The child does not automaticly get the farther's name.

Hey Madam Yess

I don't know the answer

all I know is every thing about

this situation makes my whole

stomach ....... errr .... pouchie hurt.

Okay... I've got a little expertise here via my foster parent time. 

First you have to look at individual state law...  The general requirement is that as long as the parents are not married the mother cannot give the child the father's last without his consent.  Paternity testing is not required if the father believes that the child is his...   now there are some time limits on the father agreeing to this...  This is usually done in the hospital after birth or within 60 days of birth and the father can revoke that consent within a certain time limit also.  The time limits and what have you are really dependant on the state. 

I'm old school like you all are... If you are not married the child will carry the mother's name.  What's really old school about that is that was the law.  If you were not married the only way you could use the father's last name was he had to petition the court to legitimize. 

Now here's my soapbox moment.  Legitimize your kids people...  If you don't they lose their inheritance rights from the father and the father's family.  If something happens and the child ends up in foster care for any reason DFCS will not look at the father's family as a possible placement because they are not legally family... only the mother's family will be recognized.  If the father steps forward and legitimizes the child then will his family will be recognized.  For that matter the father can't even get his child out of foster care until he legitimizes.  This is one of the reasons why so many kids get stuck in foster care.  One side of the family is not recognized for placement purposes.  So that paternal grandma or aunt who is willing to take the child can't because the father didn't step up to the plate. 
Establishing paternity and legitimization are two different things but can be accomplished during one court visit.  In Georgia it's $60 to petition the court to legitimize.  If the father can't afford it he can write the court a letter claiming that he's poor and it can be done for free. 

Thanks, I am getting a clearer understanding. Much of what you said I either didn't know or didn't fully understand since stopping fostering in 99.

What you said about legitimization I've never heard of, but in the case of the two brothers that I had, what you said about establishing paternity is EXACTLY what happened the day that they came to me. At least 20 paternal family members came to the courthouse only to not be acknowledged because the father in question had NOT established paternity.

They made him do so before he or his family could petition the court for his children. They also made him take a paternity test at his own expense which he stated that he could not afford. At that point he was asked then how could he afford to take care of the children properly and he said with help from his family who said that they would pay for the test.

They then suggested that his mother petition the court for custody because his then live in girlfriend was there raising hell about "his kids" she had 4 herself and stated that she didn't want more. His silly girlfriend messed him up big time. Anyway his mother said that she would raise the boys but the father still needed to establish paternity and take the test. It took months after he dragged his feet because he felt that since he was the father that he was NOT going to do what the court had ordered. He finally realized that they were not playing and did what needed to be done and he was the father of one of them.

One thing that I do remember clearly after he got custody of the one was he saying that since he would be raising his child that he wanted his last name changed to his. This story is part of what prompted me to ask this question because when one has legal permanent custody obtained through proper protocol "the court" usually certain things are established at the time that custody is transferred. The last name is usually the first order of business. This, as well as a few other reasons is why I am convinced that the father did not go through the proper channel to obtain custody of Shaniya so returning her was a free and clear thing, but it ended up blowing up on him and I believe that he may have legal trouble as a result.

In Illinois, the mother is allowed to chose the last name. Even after paternity is established, the mother still holds the right to decide which last name should be used.

People often ask me why does Mike have sole custody of his daughters. Mike and his ex separated when the girls were babies. They stayed with their mother (in Mississippi) after he was given orders (Navy) in Illinois. Several months (and months of child support payments) later, he received a certified letter from the state of Mississppi requesting him to give up parental rights. His ex took the kids (including another child she had before she married Mike) to an adoption agency, she didn't want to be bothered anymore. He spoke with his ex often about the girls. But at their age, they couldn't talk or was always asleep.

I swear I couldn't make this shiott up...I've seen the papers.

Mike's ex was pregnant with another man's child and was spiraling into depression. All of this took place within months of their separation.

My point is maybe Shaniya's father didn't know. It's natural for a child (and the court's) to be placed with the mother. I read he gave her to the mother because she had a job and moved into her own place, the cornerstone of a stable environment.

I'm going to stop there. This topic hits too close in my home. Mike won't even discuss it.

BTW....His ex now has a total of seven kids, by six men (two are Mike's) and she has custody of NONE. She is still unstable and still fertile as hell.

I want to clarify something else.  Just because a man's name is on the birth certificate it doesn't mean he's the legal father.  We had a foster child whose mother was married and had a baby by another man.  The biological father's name was on the birth certificate but her husband held the legal rights to the child.  So DFCS had to contact the husband to get him to relinquish his rights in order for the biological father to assert his.  If the husband refused the biological father would have been ignored.  All the state had to do was threaten the husband with child support and he gave up the legal right to a child who wasn't his biologically. 

A man's name can be on the birth certificate and the child can still not have a legal father.  Only marriage before the child's birth or a court order can legally recognize a child.  Some states have started streamling the process by allowing an acknowledge be done in the hospital at birth but if it's not done at that time the child doesn't have a legal father. 

Also most states do not allow a woman to put a man's name on a birth certificate without his permission.  I have a friend who has two kids by the same man... one child has his name on the birth certificate and the second one doesn't.  They had broken up when the second child was born and since he wasn't around she couldn't put his name on the birth certificate.  So the oldest child uses the father's last name since he consented and the youngest uses her last name and has UKNOWN for father on her birth certificate. 

This paternity stuff will make your head spin.