I don't do stupid!!! Do you?

I have a low tolerance for stupidity or ignorance, either professionally or personally.

 

My examples today:  Agent wants to know if a policy is still inforce, so after thorough research…

 

Me: I’m sorry but I did a search by the client’s name, birthdate and ssn and nothing is coming up at all, so the policy is not inforce.

 

Agent: So, when did the policy lapse?

 

Me: Nothing came up, so I can’t tell you when the policy lapsed.

 

Agent: So, you can’t tell me when the policy lapsed?

 

Me: As I stated, nothing came up, so that means I have no information to give you.

 

Agent: Well you don’t’ have to be so rude.

 

Me: Well, I wasn’t being rude, but I clearly stated that no information was available, so I can’t help it if you don’t understand that.  I don’t know how else I can put it to make it any clearer.

 

*****

 

Client:  I don’t understand why I didn’t get a bill or a second notice.

 

Me: (after verifying her address is correct) Well, the first bill was sent on this date & the 2^nd notice was sent on 10/06.

 

(after much discussion, she finally admits that the letter that prompted the phone call was received and is her 2^nd notice)

 

Client: Well if it’s dated 10/6, why did I get it over the weekend.

 

Me: Ma’am, all I can advise was when it was mailed.

 

Client: But you should be able to tell me why it took so long to get it.

 

Me: Ma’am again, all I can tell you was when it was mailed.  I cannot speak for the post office, so if want an answer to that question, you need to call them.

 

 

 

So what stupid conversations have you had lately?

I research disability claims, so I speak with doctor's offices all day basically.It's hard to remain professional with ignant folks especially because I work from home.

Good afternoon, I am calling on behalf of my company. I was calling to speak with someone in regards to as disability claim received for a patient of Dr. Soandso

Look!  You have called a business.  This is a doctor's office! We don't have time to listen to you sell anything.

Madam I am aware of the fact that this is a doctor's office.  I am calling regarding one of your patients.

Well who do you wanna speak to?  (Like I know who works there!)

Anyone who is able to speak with me in regards to a patient's time off work.

Oh... Hold on...

I wanted  to go get that heifer. Had you listened you would have known I was not a telemarketer.

Girl, people really don't listen & I mean REALLY don't listen.  The following is a perfect example I go through multiple times a day

My speil is "thank you for calling customer service, my name is Paula  and your name please?  I don't deviate from this, as I control the call & not forcing them to follow my lead generally brings chaos.  

These are the examples of ignorants:

Me....your name please?" 

The policy number is...Sir,  I didn't ask for the policy number, I asked for your name

Caller is a dude:  I'm calling for Mary. 
Me: Well, I didn't ask you who you were calling for, I asked for your name

Friday I had to ask a ignant dude for his name 5x.  Had to tell dude, that I can't see what was so difficult for him to answer my simple question.

  Whether I got all their information or not, your tail is going to repeat it, cause you didn't follow proper protocol & I'm the HNIC, not you! 

omg if i didn't just get off the phone with someone ignant again. ok after this one i'm done...
same scenario.

What are you needing?

I am needing to verify a, b, c, and d .

What is your phone number?

800-YUR-DUMB but i would need to leave the claim number for you to reference for a call back to customer service, as anyone will be able to help you.

Ok I will have the nurse call you back.  Do you have a direct extension? 

Madam, I am in research, so you will not reach me when you call back.  I weill need to leave you with the claim number,

Ok , I'll have the nurse call you back.  Thanks Bye.

Madam.  I need to leave the claim number.

Ok. What is it?

& then they'll want to hound the patient or your office, wondering why they didn't recieve their provider payment right?

Try this one:

Me: Hello, this is Tarah.

Agent: Hi, Can I speak to Jennifer?

Me: Sorry sir, I think you have the wrong #

Agent: Did I call ### - ### - ####

Me: Yes, you did. This # does not belong to a Jennifer.

Agent: And this isn't Jennifer?

Me: No. It is isn't.

Agent: Jennifer Smallwood. This isn't her number.

Me: Sir, I don't know a Jennifer Smallwood. You have the wrong number.

I hang up.

10 minutes later.

Me: Hello, this is Tarah.

[same] Agent: Jennifer, Jennifer Smallwood?

Me: SIR, for the LAST TIME -- You have the wrong number!!

5 minutes later

Me: Hello, this is Tarah

[same] Agent: I'm trying to reach Jennifer, Jennifer Smallwood.

Me: Hi, this is Jennifer, Jennifer Smallwood.....



~Tarah, aka Jennifer Smallwood!

My stupid conversation of the day went like this....

I have a co-worker who lives in a mobile home and needs and new water heater. It has to be a specially designed water heater and will cost between $700-800. So, for the last month she has been boiling water to bathe herself, her 2 small children and her husband. She came in today to tell us she and her husband are going to rent-to-own a $150,000 dollar house. She has a $25,000 mortgage on the mobile home. So, I asked how are you guys going to afford to pay a mortgage on a house and the mortgage on the mobile home. Her response was "Oh, were going to let the mobile home go". Let it go!?!? Let it go where was my question. Her reply, "were going to file bankruptcy in a year or so and we're going to file it on our bankruptcy." Before I could stop myself I said you're going ruin your credit because of a bad water heater? All I could say after that was WOW!!

Wow is right, if she can't afford to buy a $800 heater, how is she going to be able to afford the morgtage that will be at least 5x the amount of what she's paying now?

You got a extra bedroom for her & the fam when their house is foreclosed on in 4 months?

Idiots like this slay me. According to bancrupty laws if you have more than one property to your name when you file, you have to live in the cheaper of the two places and let the more expensive one go. So her credit will be ruined and she will still be livin in a trailer. People like this are the reason for the housing market crash.

Umm,  still livin in a trailer with a busted water heater at that, so she'll back at square one.   Can't wrap my head around her logic at all.