Dang, I don't know what to call this... (long vent)

Okay, so I went back home to Md this past weekend to see my grandaddy for what might end up being the last time (stage 4 pancreatic cancer)  and my aunt who had RNY 3 years ago saw me, was like are you eating.  ...Ummm Yeah, I'm eating and get all my protein, water, exercise and vitamins in.  She's like "oh".  I later find out from my mother that she is saying on a high horse "Well I did it to get rid of my health issues", as if to say I didn't.

I was a little taken back by this as I had all of the health issues she had and then some that she didn't and got them all about 15 years earlier than she did, so slippery slope right???  My mother let me know that she quickly informed her that I did this to get my health in order just like her and that if she ever bothered to call she'd know that instead of waiting to see how I look (cause I wasn't even going to go over after the last little comments she made @ my b-day).  It seems like that is the only thing that she is focused on since I had surgery was whether I was smaller than her or losing faster than she did.  Yes,  I am smaller but damn, I'm also 20 years younger, all the literature that i have read here and from my surgeon prepared me, the younger you are it is a little easier since you haven't held the weight as long.  I was hurt because the only thing she cared about was seeing what I looked like.  Not how am I doing, did i get into my PhD program, how are my kids, my hubby,  or my mom, her sister, who I take care of, but that I must not be eating since I am 139 now at 10 months out and I have to be starving myself because there is no way that I should have lost this much in this time frame.   I can't be doing every DAMN thing my surgeon said or I would be heavier.  Can you hear the sarcasm because I am doing every single thing to the letter  .

She also mentioned to my mother, not me of course, that I should probably stop losing now or I am going to look anorexic. That is no where near what I want (I just wanted to look like me again) and the last time I checked anorexic chicks did not wear a DD or have this much azz & hips but that's just my thoughts.  Silly me, I don't know why I thought that she would be support since she had hers before me but I guess I was wrong.  I am going to be honest as I always have, I did not have my stomach cut up to not be successful and don't know anyone who did but i guess she doesn't see that.  I knew it was coming but I don't know how to deal with it especially from the one person that I thought would "get" it, my godmother and Aunt.  

As always I am in it to win it and am gonna keep on because I  know that I am leaning on maintenance phase and that ish is harder than losing in the first place.  Sorry for the very long vent but I was not expecting that.

many envy and love us at the same time... ;) I tell 'em all the time I see my RNY as a blessing from God...so be careful who they speak against! Keep doin your thing lady~

You've vented with valid arguements now put it behind you and keep doing what you are doing to maintain your health.  Congrats on your weightloss & continued success! 

Sounds like you may have a greeneyed monster in your mist but she will get over it :)

Its sad to say, but occasionally we do have "haters" in our own families.

You have to continue to do you. I wouldn't worry about your aunt, because she strikes me as someone that doesn't like people doing better than her.  She'd not looking at herself, because I'm sure if she was sticking to a diet plan and exercising not only would she have lost more weight, you guys could be a huge support system to one another.

you know how other women can be when it comes to weight and family is not excluded. Understand that those comments come from her fears and insecurities and even envy that you may have a chance at a fuller life than she was able to have because of your age at the time of surgery. Pray for her and let it go. You are doing a great job!

Girl.. people are just that.. people.. and guess what else is messed up ? Family is just that.. family..LOL

My aunt ( by marriage) had RNY done open 6 years ago and this chick refused to help me with anything or give me advice after surgery ( jealous cuz I had mine done the lap way).. nosey as hell when I am getting dressed (tries to compare excess skin).. I just dont understand.. trust me.. you are definitely the sane one in the situation

Refuse to go there with her.  She knows you've got it right.  She knows the family will be complementing and congratulating you.  She believes your sucess steals her thunder.  She can't see you both doing well in the way that works best as individuals. 

Thats her issue to work through.  It may be hurtful, but you can't change her.  Leave her as she is with her resentments.  Focus on your supporters, not your detractors. 

No one will drive you crazier than your own family. Keep your head up and stay strong. Always do you your fam will just have to hate on.

I want to thank each and every one of you for your words of encouragement because I really needed them.  It seems like the further I get out and the more I lose it's like I am losing my auntie too.  I'm already hurting because my grandaddy practically raised me and I know he is not long left here.  What should have been a time for comfort and peace turned ugly and for the life of me I don't understand it.  The women in my family are so competitive and all I want to do is congradulate and motivate.  Shoot half of the reason I knew it was a right decision for me was seeing how her health issues  that are the same as mine (but I have a few more) were resolved within the first month.  The fact that I would not have to take insulin was reason enough for me but I digress. 

I will let go and let God because I need to keep the peace and my sanity in an insane time.  Thank you for letting me vent because on some things it's easier to say on here than to try to get someone else to understand as most of you have been there and done that. 

You vented what I most likely will be saying about some of my family members in the coming week.  My grandma called me today to tell me I had her blessing.  OOOOOO I loves my grandma, and she can do no wrong, but I didnt really need her "blessing".  It felt like a slap in the face about me being grown.  I just laughed it off, but it did bother me.  It bothered me even more that I know my mom tried to "sick" my grandma on me to NOT have the surgery since she is against it.  humph, win some and you loose some.