Goodbye Carrot Cake and Jalapeno Pepper Poppers...I'll Miss You!

Well I'm nearing my final required clearance so that I can have RNY. I have to remain smoke-free for 8 wks and have 4 more to go. These past few weeks have been what I call a glutton's dream. I LOVE carrot cake, mac & cheese, sweet tea, fried chicken, cheese cake, barbecue, and the creme de la creme for all of my "big girl" snacks...jalapeno poppers. Who would have known that if you take a pepper-dump the seeds-fill with cream chese-and wrap with bacon and bake it until the bacon is crisp you'd get one helluva snack! Seriously though those things were more than delicious to me, they became comforting friends. Food became my "go to" when no one else was there, food carried me through my last ugly break-up, food never talked bad about me and was always there when I needed. Over the years I've gained a close relationship with food-the wrong type of relationship, but somehow it seemed to work. I see now after being over 100 lbs from just 10 years ago, the foods I ate didn't care as much about me as I cared about them. I'm sure we all came to this realization at different times. This unhealthy relationship made me feel better then but in the end it brought the issues of obeisity, knee and back pain, low self esteem, poor body image, and the list goes on. In a sense I had to break up with my comfort foods and I'm working on making better choices. I won't be making this mistake again. Sometimes it's extermely hard though, those foods have not and never really will leave my life. It's still hard to go past the ice cream on my way to the produce section. It's equally hard to stand in front of the Pepsi machine and press the Aquafina button when I really want the Cherry Pepsi. I love what changes I've seen so far-that's what keeps my motivation. For someone who's still pre-op daily trips are still a challenge. I live in the south...a big girl's utopia. Not to say I would ever want a dumping episode but as of right now everything is still free range. I don't have that harsh reminder to knock me on my ass-I battle Burger King over baked chicken at home and cherry slurpees over lemon water with Splenda. My family for the most part are so against my decision and I have yet to win the battle of the bulge listening to them. This will become my "tool" one day, as it has already for all of you. I've dieted and gained it all back plus interest. I'm over the fad diets. It's time for me to change my mental perception and connection so that I can make the most of my "tool". Food in itself isn't bad, however all of the ones I truely loved were. I rebuke all of my sugary treats in the name of a skinny new me-I will lead myself from my frumpy size 20 into a sexy single digit. I will probably continue this battle the rest of my life-I seriously doubt WLS will cure my addiction to food. I'm just so driven by wanting to live a healthier life that I'm up for the challenge and change in lifestyle.

Dear Shay, except for the smoking, you've literally printed out my life story. Now that you're just a couple steps away from the WLS, I'll pray that you get stronger and stronger in your resolve to conquer the dreaded dragon! Good wishes on your surgery and recovery! Keep in touch and let us know your "date!"

Thanks. I hope the best for you as well. I just love the little man...chips and a soda?-mmmmm! Once again I have to rebuke my big girl treats! I'll pretend he has a bag of yummy mini rice cakes and a bottle of Deer Park! MMMMM TO THAT!

Congrats on taking this life challenge.  Your story sounds JUST like mine.  I think I had a melt down, when I realized that I wasn't going to be eating my favorites anymore. I felt truly sad....like on the verge of tears.  People always say..'well you can eat it, just in moderation.' Um...no, not me! Moderation easily turns into over-indulgence.  That's how I got to 340lbs. in the first place. LOL I've made up my mind, that I am not putting ANYTHING in my mouth that won't be beneficial to me.  I'm on my pre-op liquid diet, and this is a struggle, so I know what I'm in for. I stopped smoking and I had the urge to eat everything around me...and being honest, I did. I gained 8 lbs. So, it's very hard, but I'm proud of you.  Wishing you the very best!!!

I know right. For me it was two blows...cigarettes and food-the two together made by day seem smooth. Now that I no longer smoke the urge for food is even greater. One of my post-op coworkers said a new vise is now needed.

Girl

Hugs to you! I started my WLS journey at 330lbs. I ballooned to 364 before surgery because unlike others I had a serious "Last Meal Everyday Syndrome". I went out with a bang (not proud of it either) Withdrawal was a mofo. I never knew the reality of my f*cked up relationship with food until I could no longer hold it's warm and inviting hand, curl up with a half gallon of ice cream and watch TV, supersize everything except salads and water. I am so porud of you and  your realization and your new soon to be accomplishment. Oh, I also did not get alot of support from others. I had some but not the majority supporting me.. but you know what. Those who opposed me having WLS were not damn near 400lbs like I was or having joint issues, asthma issues and everything else associated with obesity.

Hugs,
Jazz 

Wild Flower, dont you think I know. With the exception of my ex (175-ate everything but gained NOTHING) all of my non-supporters are in the same boat as me. I guess misery really loves company.