OT,, Is My Hubby and Idiot or What?

Not because he married me,, but,, here's the story,, and please ignore all mistakes and mishaps.  His daughter,, had a fantastic job in a bank, in Pa,, worked her self   WAY up within a couple years.  Decided to act stoopid and get greedy,, she executed a scheme and defrauded the bank  of over 100 thousand dollars. (made up phonie companys and approved them some loans which she spent all the money).  She got caught and was locked up for 6 months, lost her house, and car.  Oh,, at the time this happened, she was married with one kid, and was pregnant with the second baby. The second baby came about two weeks after she got out of jail. She never told her father any of this,, infact she still thinks that we don't know about it.  Anyway, for the past two years,, she's been getting no where with jobs.  She started a "mail order" business, which failed,, then she tried "something" with a "trucking" company which failed,  now she's doing what amounts to "baby sitting" at a day care.  She already owes me a couple thousand dollars, ($200 here, $400 there etc) which I never will get back.  She calls last night to annouce that she's moving back to town.,, said she was glad that I answered the phone,, as she wanted to ask me something,  Here goes,, "Since YOU have over 30 years in at Yale,, I was wondering if you could or would get me a job there?????"  At first I was speech less, and then my reply,, Hell No.   You must be NUTS.   She f___ked up when she asked my WHY??  Ok, here are my reasons,, 1. Because I don't get people jobs,, not even my own two sons,, and trust me they have asked me to several times.  2.  You don't even like me!!!  You've told me so,, many times,, because you claim that I took your Daddy from your Mommy,,  and you need to get over that ****  3.  You only speak to me when you want something.   By then her Dad comes in from work and I hand him the phone,, he spent about 20 minutes listening to her and never saying a word.  He finally says,, I love you too, and hangs up.  While getting dinner ready he starts talking about how great its gonna be,, she's moving back to town,, and Oh yeah,, when you go to work tomorrow,, see what you "have" to do to get her a job in Yale.  I was very polite,, and said,, Pumpkin,, (that's his nick name)  would you finish fixing your dinner.  He said Why,, what's wrong?  My reply,, I need to get away from your ass right now,, before I do or say something that I shouldn't but before I go.,, let me say this,, I will never help that ***** to get a job anyplace,,  she is 34 or 35 years old,, let her find her own damn job.  He thinks that I'm being mean,, I don't think so,, as far as I'm concerned,, she can't be trusted.   What do you think?? 

I think I would never give a reference to a convicted felon especially when it involved breaking an insurance bond.  That will send up flags as soon as her background check is run.  We are not talking individual law enforcement agencies where her crime is considered minor.  We are talking about companies that get the big bucks to ensure former criminals are not around assets.

She knew the risks when she decided to steal.  Let DH put his reputation on the line for her.  I'd play it exactly as you are.  There are jobs going begging at the Stamford, Millford, and Trumbull malls.  If she wants to work let her head over there.  Every chain does not spend the $$ on a background check for store clerks because of the high turnover. 

Since there are mostly students and a few house wives in those positions she has a chance of moving up with her crime un noticed if she keeps her hands out of the till. 

Thanks for replying,, I saw a lot of people reading this,, but not replys.  I don't think I'm being mean, I think that she needs to help herself, ,,,, plus her mama has worked for the board of education for over 20 years,, let her help the chick to get a job.

I think you are 100% justafied...I wouldn't stick my neck out for her either...she seems like a user.

As far as your hubby is concerned, he just loves his child and wants her to do well, but you should tell him EXACTLY why you won't help her.  It seems like she has daddy fooled!

~Telaya~

babygirl - you ain't doing a THANG wrong!!!!

*I* have a TIGHT policy about getting people jobs where I work.... i DON'T DO IT.... NEVER..... a bf I had tried to apply where I worked - I had HR kill his app. 

My creditbility is my currency in the job market - I may be a credit risk according to FICO, but my boss thinks i hung the sun - and I'll be DAMNED if somebody tells him otherwise.  i keep corporate and personal VERY seperated (ask Brenda R.  lol)

I WISH I would bring somebody on board where I work - please.  There's only ONE person..... ONE, ya heard?  that I would do that for -  cause i worked with her and she's white..... I know she's got sense..... *waves hand dismissively* whatever - I ain't changin my opinion.......

and YALE????  girl - you better not even let her VISIT your office - might have a retinal scanner or facial recognition somewhere and they discover she even KNOWS you.... LOL (ok - I'm trippin there) but No, no HELL TO THE NAW!!!!!  Yale is like my Fortune 500..... PRICELESS on your resume. 

As for hubby - I would point blank say - Ok, so you think I'm mean.... that mean we gon stop ******

............... Bet you $5 it ain't THAT important................

Mack Mama,, I had to laugh about the last part of your reply,, because when he asked me to marry him,, my reply was   ,,,,,,, "yes,, I'll marry you,, but I AIN'T ******g you",,  I know Dimple Donna,, it's TMI,,, but  I'm too damn old for that now.    Any way,,  I'm not changing my mind,, I don't care how mad Pumpkin gets,, he can scratch his butt and get over it.  Let him go help her find a job.

I would not refer her at all because like it or not people do assume that "Birds of a feather flock together" so your integrity would be questioned when her background is revealled.  I will never forget my mother referring her brother to work with her.  She grilled him up and down about whether he was still smoking funny cigarrettes because the hospital where she worked did very thorough drug screenings.  He promissed her that he hadn't, so she referred him (he was a shoe in because my mom had 30 years of proven work history i.e. perfect attendance for 30 years, no negative reviews, consistent promotions and advancement).  When they drug tested him his BLOOD test revealled that he was dirtier than a landfill.  My mother was so embarrassed and actually endured a few dirty looks despite her solid history.  To this day she has NEVER referred anyone else.Anywho, I digress, you are right not to refer her, but your husband is not an idiot just a parent that loves their child despite of what they have done.As for MM, she is right she is a different mofo at the job and commands much respect in the workplace.  Although I must say I am offended that she wouldn't refer me when at the company we worked for we were considered the badest corporate biotches on the block!!!!  LOL  After my interview they thought she and I were going to be the black wonder twins, but a vacancy caused me to be reassigned to a different dept.By the way MM is that white person you speak of the same one I would and have referred. SA was a cool chick and smart as a whip too.

  don't be mad, boo-boo - lub you like a play cuz!!!!  I wouldn't refer you cause you know TOO much about my azz..... INCLUDING how LITTLE I actually work!!!!!  I'd have to have yo azz reassigned to a buried oil barrel if I got promoted!!!!!!  LOL

And you DEAD on the money with SA - she's a BAD chick!!!! I tried to get her over here SEVERAL times. 

Remember Jill?  She tried to get me to go with her to her new company.... SEVERAL times - but I would have had to move - didn't want to do that at all.

I think you handled it well.  I wouldn't use my name as a reference for a convicted felon, beause if and when old habits rear their heads I wouldn't want colleagues looking at me crazy and wondering what they don't know about me and should they be concerned about me.

It sounds as if you have attempted to 'help' her in the past and hasn't been able to make the best of those situations. 

Gurl please....you are right on the money. No pun intended. Why does she want to work at Yale anyway cuz it rhymes with Jail? Its going to be hard enough dealing with her in the same town let alone the workplace. 

I would advise her to create a stellar resume...listing her experience and come clean with the charges (full explanation with remorse for bad judgment) to all potential employers. probably need to look for a job with minimum fiduciary responsibilities.   She might luck up on one that sees the importance of giving a person a second chance. They might have her on watch...but she could at least still make a living for herself.  


Found this article related to your area. She might be able to get a city job in the near future. Looks like they want to give convicted people a break.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/15/nyregion/connecticut/15box ct.html

ETA:

LOL! I just looked at their application....they discarded that idea but the fact that they were entertaining it is a very positive thing.