A woman's place and a man's responsibilities...........

I believe that the man who labels women have their own little set of insecurities. I usually date women who are older then me, they are usually stable in their careers, finances, and residential situations. They usually express to me the reason they dont mind dating me in particular, is because the successful accomplishment I have made thus far in my life, my maturity, and my confidence.

So I agree with something you said in another post of yours, if your companion doesnt match you; emotionally, finacially, career wise, you probably wont get to far, because that person is not as driven and determined as you are. That person can drag you down. the women I date have to have their stuff in order, you dont have to make as much money as me but you do have to be responsible and have goals for life. The same goes for a woman who makes more, the man needs to have his stuff in order, but he also has to be secure in his role that he plays in the relationship. Men who whine, complain, and talk about women are not men anyways because real men are so secure with themselves they dont have time for that ignorance.

  damn dawg - YOU get it.  that's EXACTLY my point!!!!!

So when a dude I met and I agreed to play pool that Sunday and I texted to ask what time we were MEETING at the place and he says 'oh you THINK I have a car?' and further confirmed that he ASSUMED I'd drive.......

end of story - no need for further conversation - that let's me know right there you INTEND for me to be a provider of some sort - can't do it, homie!

Now - had he found whatever way to hustle up there on his OWN - I would have went, and offered a ride home.  It's all in how the situation is presented that speaks to the heart, the intent of the man - and if that ain't on point - NOTHING else will be!!!! 

If women want an Alpha male who is going to step up to the plate there are a few things to think about.  If you are independant and have all of your own stuff do not brag about it.  All that man needs to know from the getgo is that you have a good education, a place to live, transportation and gainful employment... that you are maintaining your lifestyle.   They do not need to know how much your house cost, the type of car you drive or how much money you make.  Every woman I know who puts dollars and cents on their assets to a man when she first meets him is single.  That is a turn off for a lot of men... the men who perk their ears up to that stuff tend to be scrubs or they may feel that you don't need a man in your life.  It's hard to be a helpmate if you are always tooting your own horn.  Men may be modern when it comes to casual dating but they tend to be very old fashioned when it comes to marriage. 

Keep it in the back of your mind that men are usually where they want to be.  Meaning women can not force a man to rise to her standards.  Women on the other hand can usually rise to the standards of a man because women traditionally change everything once they get married. So women are conditioned to make that change and men are not. 

I am very old fashioned...  so take my advice for what it's worth. 

Naw - we are on the same page.  It bugs me when a dude asks me what I do and all that.  I actually do NOT like tellin my stats.  Yea - live on the south side - then he'll ask house or apt?  I say house - then if the ***** ask if I own or rent - I'm stoppin the convo.  what YOU need to know for?

Then - the car thing - can't get around that - you gon see it when we meet up for the first date - that creates the ASSUMPTION that I'm rolling or something - which ain't the case.  

THEN ask what I do, where I work - I tell it - then the $$ swimmin all over.......

I'd get a second cash car and tell mofos I'm a damn maid just to see what would happen.....

what imo say ..... when u right u right

I don't know ... I''m old school and this is the way  I roll for years ....

glad to see a younger woman with the awareness

at least in my  HMO.  I couldn't agree wit u more.  You way 

ahead (in terms of maturity/understanding) in yo thinking, at least to me.

keep it moving forward sistah!

"if you ain't at the level I am, I gotta leave you where you at.........."

Ok Mack...gotta slightly disagree with you on this one. Why? Cause if men adopted that same attitude with me I may have been assed out on alot of great relationships I've had. Many of the men I have dated and date (pre and post marriage) have been more successful, more influential, and more established....etc. I actually learned alot from them and many motivated me, introduced me to the right people and showed me that there was an alternate way of thinking to some of the wack schitt I thought was correct. Now, don't get me wrong, I do understand the premise of what you are saying but barring all the really stupid, ridiculous and dumb stuff that shouldn't even be considered, I don't think it's the worst thing in the world to date someone who is not on your level. If I can ask of one to do for me, can I not do it for someone else?

Also, while I am slightly old fashioned myself in believing a man should pursue a woman, I am not opposed to doing the pursue. I guess I look at is as my life is full of pursuits anyway...why should this be any different. If I see something I want I'm going for it. If I wait for anything to come to me, a job, a house, a pair of bad az z shoes,  etc, I might be waiting a long time.

Bottom line, don't be so hard on "a few" of these bruthas taking a shot up....can you really blame them?

Um - my whole point was that a man should not take that view towards a woman.  From the examples you gave - those men that brought you UP are men that understand their place.  No man should look to a woman to bring HIM up - it's the other way around.  My belief is a woman is to be submissive unto that man, he should guide, protect and advise her - he is the leader, not she, and she cannot stand in front of him, nor is she shoulder to shoulder with him.