Pressure

I have so many comments about my weight loss.  And I’m sure mostly all of us who are losers can relate.  You guys already know how I have issues with accepting compliments.  When folks say “you look good", I usually respond with something like, “well, no I got a lot of work to do" or something to that affect to play it off.  Now, I know I shouldn’t do that, but it’s an issue I’m trying to work through.

 

But any way, it’s got me feeling under pressure.  At my work site, there are at least two other people that have gone through a WLS at some point in the past.  I wasn’t working here when they did it, but from what I gather one lost a lot, regained some and leveled off.  I would not have even noticed until someone else told me.  The second person told me her own self that she had WLS about 6 years ago and lost about 90 lbs and gained around 50 lbs back.  She is quite large now.  So, just gaining this knowledge was somewhat discouraging to me.  But she admitted that she wasn’t compliant in her post surgery life.

 

So, other people have got to be walking around thinking to themselves “WLS provides initial weight loss, but eventually the weight will come back".  Because they have seen it happen.  I get the feeling that they are just sitting back and waiting for the weight to come back on.  So, I think some of the reason I am reluctant to accept compliments or act too ****y is because somewhere way in the back of my mind I’m thinking “what if", after a couple years, some weight comes back???  I hope I’m making sense.

 

So, with all the compliments, I’m under pressure to keep the weight off and keep (as from other peoples’ mouths) looking good.  I don’t want to be seen as a failure.  I don’t know if I could ever work here again if I had a major regain.  It’s happed before while in the military.  I’ve lost 25 lbs or so on two or three different occasions over the years, but NEVER 80+ lbs.

 

Is anyone else under pressure?  What’s your plan to maintain?  Right now, I’m motivated and active as hell.  But will I still be in 2011?  2012?  Etc???  Will you??

Hi
I know what u mean, I don't feel under pressure. However some times bothered by people asking me "how much weight have u lost" I feel like that's the only reason some people stop to speak, and it ALWAYS comes up in conversation. Its like HELLO... Im the same person as b4 WLS!

I went onto your profile, u have done very well! U look great! And by what I see, u have put in allot of hard work. U deserve to b complemented, and to feel good about getting the complements because other people are seeing your progress. The thought of gaining the weight back scares me too, but I have to just focus on me and not compare myself to others or even wish that upon myself. The word says to confess your desires out loud and for God to hear. He knows your heart, and he will give u the strength to be successful in the years to come.

Ninie, thanks for the encouragement. 

Pressure can be a good and bad thing.  I will use my haters to be my motivators as Kandi says on the Real Housewives of Atlanta. 

WLS is a tool and not a cure all....as long as you adopt/implement those healthy lifestyle changes you will be a success.

I feel you, cuz - I really do.

When I had WLS - nobody I'd researched or talked to had lost over 150 lbs - and that was men.  Women lose slower and lower - in general.  So I was thinkin 'can I even lose the 200 I want/need to?'

So - when I did that, even my surgeon was like WOW!  THEN - the bullshiot started of 'you ain't gonna be able to KEEP it off' and 'we will see how long this lasts'

Let me tell you this as a 4+ year 'vet' who has not gained back more than 14lbs from my 'maintain' weight of 186 - it is what YOU make it. You know there's a set of rules that you must comply with to keep things on course - if you stray and don't pull your azz back on track - you will be that 50lb regain story.  If you ignore the directions of what you're supposed to do - the tool will not help you.

I set a goal in my head of 200lbs.  When I see 200 on the scale - it's Defcon 1, Threat level yellow, all hands on deck - oh lawd - who da heyl left the gate open?!!!  And I have only seen 200 ONE TIME in the last 4+ years - after my 2nd plastic surgery - don't know what was going on, but my body didn't react or 'kick in' with the methods I'd done before - so I went to a doctor and got on a medically supervised plan.  YES - you read that right - 4+ years with WLS and I'm in a doctor supervised weight loss program. 

Does that mean I'm a failure?  HELL NO - I am a success because I am heading the problem off at 14lbs - NOT 50 OR 60.  I know based on my past and the tool that I needed help to get back on track, and my methods weren't enough.  Bottom line though - was *I* took control and did what needed to be done.

So - sorry to be long winded - but I am really passionate when folk are worried about regain or failure - I will tell you, standing TALL on my 200lb success - that IT IS what YOU make it - if you set your mind that you will NOT allow regain - you will make it happen.  If you set your mind that you WILL get to your goal - you will do what you need to do to make it happen.  You have the tool, the instructions and the ability - WORK IT OUT FOR YOU.

I in no way consider myself a weight loss success.  I am definitely a work in progress.  Unfortunately for me my excess weight has been the bane of my existence for as long as I can remember, and I think it will always be so.

I wish I had a plan for continued long term success, but I'm still working to get to the point where I feel comfortable in my own skin.

I feel the pressure daily.  The pressure to reach goal and to keep this fat gone for the rest of my life.  That is a huge burden. 

We need this pressure to keep ourselves vigilent.  That is how I will avoid being that re gainer.  The difference between the pressure you feel and the pressure I feel is focus. 

You are focusing on other peoples view of you.   I am focusing on my personal long term success.  Overall, people don't give a rats ass about your success except as food for gossip.  Forget about them.  Feel the pressure to live up to your commitment to yourself. 

BRU I FEEL YOU ON THE PRESSURE THING. ITS EVEN WORSE FOR ME CAUSE IM IN THE PUBLIC EYE. I BEEZ NERVOUS AS HELL. IM NOT GONNA LIE. IM TRYING TO STAY FOCUSED ON DOING RIGHT.

True true.  It's like Tupac said, "All eyes on me".  It's like people just sitting back and waiting for us WLS patients to slip up.  Plus, being on the big screen, you got even more eyes Bro.  That would increase the pressure for me.

But like one of the other posters said, it can work for you or against you.  The trick is having a plan for those times when we MIGHT slip up and keeping those basic principle in mind.  Always remembering the things we did in the beginning; going back to the basics.  But man, I'm tellin you, I can eat pretty good.  Not nearly as much as before but not like a month out either. 

But I'm right where I want to be as far as how much I can eat.  My portions are perfect, so now even though I cheat, I know I can't cheat a whole lot.