I said I wasn't gonna tell no body but...

I could not keep it to myself...oh yeah thats a church song.

Hey Yall...  I'm sticking my head in the door for an update.    I have been on this road a while my surgerivary is next month 5 years.  I am still as obese, I am still super obese.  I thank GOD that they cannot call me mega super super obese anymore but the fact remains I am sitting where many start this journey.  It sucks...honestly and I am not beating up myself just facing the facts.

there have been many reasons I have not gotten ot goal.  I did not do everything right. I started the diet soda thing.  I had trouble exercising with the cervical and lumbar problems I got crazy on and off with vitamins and screwy with the water.  
Yes I no me and where I failed me.  
I went to see a plastic surgeon back in the summer and was getting ready to get 13k worth of surgery and it would help but honestly I would still be consider overweight and I know that I would not be happy.
I have been studying nutrition looking at this and that and trying to find ways to help myself.  Motivate myself....... 
My eating habits honestly are not that bad but there are some things I could do better.
I got a wild hair in my behind last week and decided to see a surgeon about a revision.  I tried to tell myself there was something wrong but I took all the blame for not losing the weight.
I told myself that  the least I could do would be get a consult it could not hurt just better inform me.
this is what I learned.

I learned today that I have been really hard on myself and it was not all my fault.  When the doctor talked with me he assured me that my highest weight and the fact that I had success said alot.  He pretty told me what I new.  That my metabolism is jacked up and it will always be jacked up.  I was not a eating that much when I was weighing 500 something....I admit that my calories intake was not good and wholesome but it was not as much as one would thing.  When he finished with me.  I actually was relieved.  
He said it did not hurt that my world reknown surgeon packed up and left town to do something...because I never got where I needed and lost part of my network.   Pretty much if I had not had you guys there is not telling what would have happened.  WOW>

Anyway I have started the journey to a revision....not sure it will happen but after looking at what he needs to do to get me at a healthy weight and now the real fight Insurance.... I am on a new road in my journey....I still envision the cat suit....may not be what is in style but I need the photo memory.  I just may get to my goal after all.  5 years is a long time  have always thought that I could eat more than most and that I did not have much restriction.  I am about to find out if that is so in a couple of weeks through testing.
I think the roadblock is about to be torned down .


BTW take your vitamins...I am about to take a new nutrition course and a supplement course what I learned to day was intriguing...miss one day of supplements it take 10days to replenish what can be stored miss 10 days and it takes a 100 days.  It is hard to catch up when you get behind so keep them up. 

love ya
di

Pastor, grace and peace to you. I am 53 years old. I had my revision last january and i have lost 111 lbs so far. I am sure you are younger than me and you will do just fine.  In five years more research has been done, more knowledge obtained. I have read your post and you are a woman endowed with wisdom from Our Blessed Holy spirit. You already know he will guide you and give you the strength for this journey. Please know that i am praying for your victory.  If I can do this I know you can.  I have read portions of your blog. You have come "a mighty long way" and I am sure "you have come too far to turn back now". 24 years ago when i got saved I used to hear the "old" saints testify about "comin' too far to turn back". It was just a cliche then. It is my mantra now. My walk with the LORD and my battle with obesity!!! Besides It is like the children of Israel...go back to egypt? I think not. i would much rather "cross jordan" and battle the "ites".
2 Corinthians 1:3-7 NCV


Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is the Father who is full of mercy

and all comfort.

⁴ He comforts us every time we have trouble, so when others have trouble, we can comfort them
with the same comfort God gives us

.⁵ We share in the many sufferings of Christ. In the same way, much comfort comes to us

through Christ.⁶ If we have troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation, and if we have comfort,

you also have comfort. This helps you to accept patiently the same sufferings we have

.⁷ Our hope for you is strong, knowing that you share in our sufferings and also in the

comfort we receive.

 Much love from kansas City Pastor.
JO

Di, congratulations on finding some peace. We all play a role in our success and sometimes continuing to find the route to take to peace of mind is the onerous part of it. 

Also thank you for the information about vitamins, I did not know that and it is refershing to learn something new. Good luck with your journey and you might want to swing by the revision board, they have a lot of information.  Leave what is valuable to you and leave the rest.

Shay

You have found a knowledgeble and compassionate surgeon.  How lucky is that! 

So many doctors dismiss the impact of metabolism. especially in the abscence of glaring irregularities in lab work.  I hope this approval through procedure and beyond goes smoothly.  
 

Hi Di,
when I opened your post, I was hoping that what I read is what it was leading too. Every journey is different and unique and revisions are often needed for many various reasons. Some people, ESPECIALLY the super morbidly obese go into their initial surgery after already having been informed that a revision would be needed after a few years to get the remaining weight off..this is one of the ways that the VSG came about. For some getting the DS, their risks are so very high that the VSG is performed as the initial surgery to get off some of the excess weight to lower the risks for the remaining portion of wls. That is just one of many examples why revisions are needed and you may have fallen into that type of revisional catagory. There are some with RNY and Lapband...also revison.

As a revision patient, I have learned much in regards to the "failure" aspect. Yes we must admit our shortcomings and we all have them, BUT if the tool is not or cannot work at full capacity, things become much more complicated that only revision patients and Surgeons seemly fully understand. You will go through a barage of tests and believe me when I say that the results of those tests will tell the story of your needs and explain the why's so PLEASE do not blame yourself. I did that and learned that "I" only made up maybe 1% of the failure of my initial surgery. For many, revison may be needed years later, so that is why I never say "lbs lost forever" in regards to the wls journey. Many are fortunate to never need adjustments, and some are not so I thank God that there are now corrective procedures available that were not years ago.

Di, if you decide to have a revision I can GURANTEE that your journey will take on such a great new phase that tears will flow. I can honestly say that having a revision was one of the BEST decisions that I have ever made.

Congratulations to you on your research, I support you 200%.

Que

You are Happy and Hopeful and I am Too!!!

You know where your support is!!

Di,

Thank you for your post.

I know it probably was really freeing for you to post this.

I posted something similar a few days ago and it totally freed me and released me from the past and opened me up to my future.

I am glad I met you on FB through Sharon.

I know you will get to where to need and want to be.

I know you will because you believe and when you believe you acheive.

Keep in touch.

I need reading glasses now for the strain on my eyes.  But seriously, you know I wish you  the best.

I am glad you didn't keep it to yourself. Often we are in the press of the crowd but we must continue to reach for the hem of his garment. I know you can make it.