People on my Nerves because of my WLS

Hey Group!  I haven't been on here in a long while.  I was just wondering if anyone found themselves avoiding functions with family and friends where there's going to be a big feast involved?  And do any of your overweight friends who know you've had the surgery keep trying to feed you and announce to everyone who doesn't already know that you've had weight loss surgery?  This just really bugs me and I wanted to know how some of you handle situations like this?

Hello Ms. Caliqt03,

I feel you.

I didn't tell my family about my surgery, didn't want to hear the drama. But I did tell a close friend at work that told everyone when I went out for surgery. And my other overwirght friends that know they hate on me all day. But I had to do it for me. I was the one barely able to walk up a flight of stairs, taking meds for diabetes and hb pressure.

Folk are always going to have an opinion. But you have to always do whats best for you and keep it moving.

We had a luncheon at work the other day. I coordinated it all and when it came time to eat; all eyes were on me. I kindly got a plate and took a fork full of everything except no meat; can't eat meat. I sat and ate alittle at a time. They stared like they were waiting for me to get sick. I waited about 30 minutes and ate a small piece of cake. Another 30 minutes and had a bottle of water.

Its difficult eating at events like that, because everyone is looking at your plate and it makes me self conscious. But I just stay focus.

No, I haven't avoided functions. I actually look forward to going out now cause I'm not so dang fat. I went to a wedding last night and danced 3 electric slides without breaking a sweat. 2 months ago I woulda sat down after a couple of verses.  I honestly woulda been tired before the reception started since we had to walk like a mile from the parking lot to the venue. Can you believe I did that in heels and didn't break a sweat or have to pull out my inhaler?

I wore a size 1x dress.  In July I had to stuff myself into a 3x! And that was with a girdle.

I have learned to pick and push my food around to make it look like I'm eating when I'm really not.  You know how the cute skinny girls do....  take two bites and claim they're stuffed.  I bet the anorexic heifers sneak down Oreos in the bathroom stall.  (I guess I'll be one of those anorexic heifers in a few months too huh? I gotta stop degrading them, since I'm joining the skinny club)

Since I have the DS, I can eat a pretty normal sized meal, so it really isn't that apparent. I just have to be careful not to eat chicken that is too dry  cause nothing else wants to go down after dry chicken.   And, since I don't dump I was able to enjoy wedding cake and the champagne toast.

As far as people treating me different, I don't have that problem because I kept my mouth shut and only told my mother and my son. It ain't nobody else's business!

Girl don't let people steal your joy. Work your tool and discretely slip the middle finger to anyone who gives you a hard time about it.

Hi, welcome back.  I would say no I don't avoid family functions in fact I am the host of many of them.  I LOVE being around a lot of family and friends and tend to invite folks over to my house a lot.  I just don't eat as much and really I am so busy and acting up that no one seems to notice.

As far as the second question Oh honey yes I do have friends like that.  One of my friends says that she is "scared" to have the surgery.  But feels the need to refer to herself as fatass everytime she is around me !!!!  Not only that, she feels the need to say "Well, you know Brenda had the surgery" or "Imma just try to do on my own"  I don't let it bother me.  Something my Pastor said a long time ago was "Excellence exposes mediocrity...and when you are trying to pursue excellence others who are maintaining a mediocre status may become upset or discouraging...as the closer you become to achieving it the more they see their shortcomings"  I have paraphased but the point is as long as you all were fat it was no big deal, but now they see the difference and it can be an intimidating experience.

Good luck on your journey!!!!

Howdy,
yes indeed, all the time. To offset all of that I have a bag that I carry my smaller sized utensils and plate in. It speaks volumes for someone trying to load you up.

I had an unusual and unexpected predicament last night. I attended this MS event at a ritzy hotel where dinner was being served. I didn't take my stuff because it was going to be buffet style. What I didn't know was that the buffet foods were just the appetizers which filled me to the brink. All of a sudden the staff came out with the main dinner. When sista gurl approached our table and began setting the plates before us, I whispered to her that I would not be eating the main course. Instead of just tipping away she decided to GRILL me on WHY, WHO WHAT WHEN AND WHERE..I finally looked at her and said, listen I had weight loss surgery!

This heffa STILL wanted to insist that I take the food. Being sarcastic, I finally said..okay I will eat it but stay right here and clean up the mess when I do, she hurried up and left with that plate.

Hi everyone,

I'm new here and I haven't had surgery yet, but I am planning to have the VSG.  Even though I haven't had wls yet people are already hating on me!!  My nephew is praying that I don't have it although I am 300 lbs. with diabetes, high blood pressure & cholesterol, rheumatoid arthritis and neuropathy!  He thinks I can exercise (although I can barely walk) and change my diet.  

My mom is telling everyone she can what I am planning although I told her I wasn't going to share it until I was ready.  But luckily most of the people she's told have enough sense not to say anything to me about it!

But the kicker is some of my overweight "friends" who barely want to talk to me.  Oh, I'm sorry, they want to talk enough to say smart stuff if they see me eating something they think helps to make me fat like 'you talking about wls but you're  eating **** ...not knowing that my sugar might be low which is why I am eating what I'm eating.  So I know what it's gonna be like after the surgery.   I'm gonna have to get prayed up now to avoid cussing some folks out later!!!

Thats exactly why I keep my business to myself. Your nephew should be happy for you. I dont tell anyone except a few people. In the beginning I was telling people I THOUGHT I trust. I was let down extremely by all the ignorant comments. Thats when I decided to keep my mouth shut. Even after surgery I am just going to tell people that I have been working hard to lose weight.

Congrats on your jouney,

Micah P.

I found myself doing the same thing!! And I don't know how I'm going to deal with it when I go to my home state later this month... They haven't seen me in a while and I just know there's going to be talk... And lots of it...  Watching what I eat and how much. I don't know how I'm going to handle it so I'm going to play it by ear...
And I don't have many "friends" but the ones I have would NEVER play me like that!

I don't avoid functions where there will be lots of food.  I just pick and choose what I want to eat and enjoy myself like everybody else.  It's funny...I can remember going to conferences and seeing the skinny women at the continental breakfast put small servings of food on their plates.  Now I'm one of them.

I only have one overweight friend left.  The rest dumped me when I started losing weight.  She is a true friend and would never do anything to try to sabotage me.

hello I do know alot of people who are like this but. I dont avoid functions I attend and I pay them no mind cause I let it fly over my head . keep doing you miss lady and congrats on your success