That's what I get for opening my big azz mouth..........

OK - So I’m coming back from lunch and I walk in the building flash my ID and one of the female Marshals stops me and says “Where you been?"  I say “Nowhere.....I been here" and I’m looking at her but I keep it moving.  Then she says "You lost a lot of weight. What are you doing?" So I stop and walk back to her because we are in a public space where there is a lot of traffic and I don’t want to be loud. 

I don’t know what came over me but I told her.........I told her the truth. I told her I had surgery. She said “Which one, the band?"  And again I told her............I told her the truth, “No I had gastric bypass surgery."  I regretted the response as soon as it left my lips.  So she started asking about my eating habits, exercise routine, weight lost so far, when and where did I have it, etc. etc.  I gave short answers because the tone of the questions were making me a little uncomfortable and for some reason I just wanted to run away.  I wanted to take it back but it was too late.

Then it happened.  That thing that have read so much about on OH.  The thing that was the deciding factor in me not telling most of my friends and none of my family that I even had surgery.  The thing people do when they should just STFU!

The thing - SHE SAID SOMETHING STUPID.

Her: Are you married?
Me: Actually, I’m getting married in less the two weeks!  (All excited and overly giddy).
Her: He’s going to start resenting you. He might be OK with it now but he is going to start being jealous of you. And he’s going to have a hard time dealing with you losing a lot of weight.
Me:  and then a nervous 
Her: You laughing now bu****ch.  Later on you’re going to come back to me and say Denise your were right. I mean you look good and keep up the good work and everything bu****ch what I tell you. 
Me: and then..........I

Where the **** did that come from?????????  Now this lady doesn’t know me, doesn’t know my other half and she has us having problems already. 

More importantly, what in the hell possessed me to tell the truth? 

stranger or not, I don't accept those crack addict responses.  If I don't know them that well, I politely provide a counterpoint to their crap.  friends I have looked them straight in their eyeballs & told them "the devil is a lie" or " i rebuke that in the name of Jesus!!"    that shuts them up real quick.  Luckily for my family (cause they definately know not to step crazy to me) no of them have made any stupid responses.
 

Gurl - I swear - I am being tested today....  somebody come kneel and pray wif me.....

Girlfriend - ain't you EVER heard of 'Hatin azz bytches INC.'?  Surely you have.  I used to be the President of the local 229 chapter - with the auxillary club of 'I'll take your man if you let me close enough to your life' crew.  National All-Star Champion of 2000-2001 for the coldest cross over move.......

not EVERYBODY is going to be happy or positive toward you - they just ain't.  and that's probably NOT the stupidest thing you will hear - keep talking and listening.  Stick to what YOU know - and throw the rest out of your mental door - pretend you are at a comedy show - cause all that jazz that bytch is talkin is just that - JOKES to you - WISHES from her. 

You know your reality, your relationship, your life - unless that hoe is gonna be on your marriage certificate with you and your boo - let her guess everything about your relationship - I'd have asked the bytch 'so - he eats my cat 5 times a week and my azz on the weekends - you think he'll stop the azz lickin when it get small?'

STRAIGHT FACED AND WAITING FOR ANSWER 

She totally caught me off guard and all I could do was .  But this mouth is officially closed to future inquiries.  I ain't saying nothing else.

Be prepared for more - from other people - you will be shocked at what folk have the nerve to say.....

I had a pseudo-relative a lil bit ago ask 'you ain't married yet?  you lost all that weight and STILL ain't married?'

Like the surgery was supposed to fix THAT too...... ~smh~ 

keep ya head up and stay focused on YOU - and congrats on the upcoming nuptials!!!

Wooooo Lawd....this made up for my weeks being away. Mack Mama....you never let me down....thanks for the laugh!!!

I tell you what.... I soooo needed that laugh!!!! Its 1am in London and i've been laughing so loudly that i woke up my daughter..... You both are hilarious!!

MM I love u!! U keep it real!! That would have shut her up 2. Hating azz heffa.

 Dear Lord, you have me gasping for breath!

Is she overweight?