I cried last night

Naomi,

Wipe your eyes and get your praise on   

You don't need to explain or justify anything -- it is what it is!  You are happy and that 's all that counts.

There's no reason for you to be worrying about what someone else thinks or has to say

Karen

Thanks sweetie for your support, it means so much!! Good to see you.

Naomi...dont let the ignorance and jealousy of those on the internet to determine how you feel. Insecure people will always try to mess up your happiness. At the end of the day, your getting married to someone you love, that treats you right, and that is proud of you, anybody else can take the "mine-your-own-business" express back to their own lives.

Loves & Blessings,

Micah P.

Thanks Micah for your support that was so sweet!!

Naomi,

(Please take this in the spirit of love that I am offering it - This  is just another person on the internets opinion and like an asshole we all have them.  I mean no harm here.)

Now.......
Come on girl PLEEEZE!!!  Give me a break!!!! 
You really let this cyber world Bull**** upset you?  Come on now, say it ain't so!!!

I've seen the cyber battles you have been through.  Watched from the sidelines while you went toe to toe and never once backed down or shed a cyber tear.
(A whole lot of it had to do with your choice of men and dating practices, how cute you are, you house or cars or job or something.  Most could be chalked up as haters or either folks that just felt it was their self proclaimed duty to Set YOU straight.)

Now Why folks on the internet had enough POWER over you and were given enough ammunition to even pick a cyber fight with you - I don't know.  All that should matter here on OH is how well you have progressed with your band and how you can support another person along the journey...But I digress.

Baker was cutting up - plain and simple.  I am not standing up for him...get that straight.  But it is what it is.  He did in his inital post wish you luck  but "as the Post Turns"  we know how drama kicks up.  And for whatever reason DRAMA likes you (or maybe subconsciously you like IT)

Anyway....
Who you love, who you choose as a mate, how you find a mate and your life's decisions should not be a topic of discussion or opinion on the internet.  You have to take a little bit of responsiblity for making yourself SO TRANSPARENT that someone could take it all the way there.  For real, why should ANYONE have that much power over you???  Step back and think about what YOU would have said to someone else has she been in your shoes - "Girl **** Him - what gives him the right to say that BS!"  And you probably would have just moved right along.

You could have just said "Thank You - but my choice of mate is not up for discussion here on OH"  to Baker and then Blocked him or walked away from the post.  But NOOOOOOO  you fed right into it and it somehow steam rolled all over you and hurt your little feelings.  IRL you are now enterring a Bi-Racial relationship.  You are gonna face many more ugly people who feel they have a right to make comments IN YOUR FACE (not on the internet)  If Baker's BS makes you cry then plan to DROWN.  People still are UGLY when it comes to that.  Why?  I don't know.  To me who you love is who YOU love and I have no say in that.  I'm busy dealing whith WHO I LOVE.

I am very happy for you. I  Wish you all the Happiness your heart can hold. I suggest you get tuff - because when you marry this caucasion man you are gonna have bigger ******** then Nate to deal with.

Thanks Sharon for you advice, what you are saying does make a lot of sense, but I would like to add people on the Internet DO NOT have power over me, I think what teared me up was the fact that his comments were uncalled for, and I was shocked that he would make such comments; and also this was sort of a breaking point for me because if you have seen me post on Obesity Help Nate is NOT the only person that have "attacked" me for no reason, it used to be a few women on R&R and obesity help used to attack me, and I could not understand why I have even got attacked for simply posting my before and after pictures...yes how sick is that,? And I got to thinking why do people attack me so much here, is it my looks, is it what I say, other people can voice their opinions, say what type of man they like and so forth but if I DARE say anything about what I like this or that, folks immediately jump on me with the flame attacks....I guess this is why I broke down in tears, and honestly this was NOT all about Nate it was the breaking point of why people are SO intrigued or obsessed with me here on Obesity Help.

I thought he used to "play" with me, I had no idea he was serious when he used try to hit on me. I can't believe he would be so desperate to try to hit on women on a message line. But again, I can see his is a very lonely sad man. I could have gotten "ghetto" on him and hurt his feeling BIG TIME, you have seen me in action over on R&R when folks have messed with me, but I did not do it instead I did the wrong thing and answered his foolish dumb post.

Edited to add: Regarding your comment of getting tuff to deal with nast comments about me being married to a white man, when we are out in public I find it interesting that white people don't seem to have a problem with us, we have gotten stares from brothas, but that hurt me because where where the "brothas at when I was seeking them for the last 3 years?" Maybe this is a wake up call for them to start getting their acts together and treating black women right --  not saying all black men treat women bad but regarding committing to long term relationships they need to step up their game, here in Virginia I see a lot of young black women with white men these days, a few years ago I did not see that now they are everyhwere, I guess with internet dating and more exposure it is becoming the norm. 

I think what teared me up was the fact that his comments were uncalled for, and I was shocked that he would make such comments; and also this was sort of a breaking point for me because if you have seen me post on Obesity Help Nate is NOT the only person that have "attacked" me for no reason, it used to be a few women on R&R and obesity help used to attack me, and I could not understand why I have even got attacked for simply posting my before and after pictures...yes how sick is that,? And I got to thinking why do people attack me so much here, is it my looks, is it what I say, other people can voice their opinions, say what type of man they like and so forth but if I DARE say anything about what I like this or that, folks immediately jump on me with the flame attacks....I guess this is why I broke down in tears, and honestly this was NOT all about Nate it was the breaking point of why people are SO intrigued or obsessed with me here on Obesity Help.

 Since you put the questions out there, I'll be totally candid in my response. 

Naomi, sometimes it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.  I’ve never met you in real life, so I have no idea what kind of person you are or what is in your heart.  Your style of communicating, however, gives the impression that you are materialistic, vain, shallow and self-absorbed.  It rubs people the wrong way.  It’s almost like you’re trying to prove something.  I don’t know... 

I will say this too - Some of your threads have been provocative and made sweeping generalizations about certain “types" of people and a few people found them offensive.  Then, when you posted something completely innocent, their perception of you was tainted by their previous encounter.  A cyber attack by one or two people might be overlooked simply as jealousy/spite, but when you see a PATTERN of this happening, it might be time for a  bit of honest self-reflection.

So blessed, OR who ever you are... I don't know you and since you don't have a pic to share  I will respond blindly...it's no secret  a few women tried to put a label on me and I guess SOME women who probably hate themselves THRIVED on that, and I did not know me from jack.....all that said, if you call loving yourself  vain then I guess I am vain..lol...and I DO love myself so if you want to call that shallow or as you say self absorbed so be it...

I am the most loving and sweet person there is, is there PROBLEM with being happy and knowing what I want in life? I know these forums are FULL of women with low self esteem, but  believe it or not when I was morbidly obese I still LOVED myself, this is something that my mom taught me to always stay positive and always thrive for the best whether it's job, husband, education and so forth I guess this is why I am a highly paid black software engineer and don't take this as if I am bragging coz I worked hard for every single dollar with my head stuck deep in a book....and to be honest NAT is nothing to me, I could have been extremely mean to him, but again I care about people and their feelings and I expect people to care about my feelings as well regardless ....I only peeked my head in BAF only to give back support and I had not posted over here in ages and all of a sudden I get attacked...these are some sneaky, jealous hearted SAD people here....

 Hmmm..I think there are MANY single black females here who voice their opinions ALL the time about the types of mates they seek, and sometimes they can get a little vain and in my opinion very ignorant and stupid saying they prefer light skinned black men or dark skinned black men....but hey who am I to get angry or question THEIR CHOICE that's their business....why should I get angry at a women if she think she is cute...hell I wished ALL women thought they were cute.....I like to see women prosper, being happy and doing their thing.....I don't consider them vain or I don't attack them for what they like ...hell Mack Mama expresses her opinion all the time in what she seeks she is not attacked for it...WHY DO YOU CARE IF I APPEAR TO BE VAIN WHAT'S with it TO YOU?????  this type of stuff reminds of my high school with "she thinks she is cute and all that" ..I will not give any of this type of NONSENSE ANY MORE AIR PLAY....I only responded yesterday because I was baffled this is why I don't post here much  I am too busy enjoying life.....And don't think I am weak coz mentioned I cried...

 

There is nothing wrong with being happy.  There is nothing wrong with loving yourself.  I commented on the way you communicate and the impression that it gives people.  I stand by my previous statements.

 

So...as you say...I am this self proclaimed vain, snobbish, self absorbed *****then get over it....if that is who you think I am then so be it ...you don't have to ever see my posts again just hit block....or just ignore me when I do post agreed?