Hypocrites.........since we're on the subject.

OK ~ let's get this clear up front this is not judging ...........just wanted to see how it looked from the outside. I know I'll regret this but..........what's your opinion?

Here's a very long story short..................

Me and one of my road dogs (ex-co worker) was really close. She was horrible with her selection of men. Her oldest daughter loves basketball so she takes her to all the women's games..........to make a very long story short. My girl is now engaged to one of the players on the basketball team. I was totally shocked because to be honest........I never knew she had interest in women.

Now with that said, she is traveling the world doing her thang; we always keep in contact cause that's my homie. This morning I was thinking..........I haven't heard from her in a week which is strange. Then I started to reflect..................

The dilemma..............

She asked me to go to the Beyonce' concert with her free of charge and I said no. Why? Well, honestly I had a family reunion but I would've dropped those jokers like hot potatoes quick to see "B" in concert. I just didn't feel right going because a part of me feels like she's trying to buy my opinion. Don't get me wrong.........she knows that I love her no matter what but she knows my saying.........I can't condemn (or judge) folks but I can't compromise what I believe in either. She knows that I'm a little uncomfortable or maybe just still in shock with the whole situation. It's really hard on me cause we were so close and I feel double-minded. We are ride or die homies.........I'm talking writing each other checks so the other account wouldn't bounce until payday. We done struggled together and we use to always say............it won't always be like this.  On one side it's like she's just looking out cause I've done it for her but on the other hand it seems like she's trying to buy me. For example, she was in Russia and called me and said, "I wish you stop losing weight cause I know you would love this fur coat".

So two questions....................

Am I being a hypocrite if I accept anything........ should it be all or nothing?

Do you guys think she's mad at me about the "B" concert that's why we haven't talked much?

I don't' want to lose her as a friend.......it's just weird.

I think the hypocritical thing is not showing love. We don't have to agree with someone's lifestyle choices or the way they live but the commandment that we are to live buy is to show love.  If we can still show individuals love and kindness despite their choices.  I am not saying you have to let her buy you, but to completely disassociate yourself from her because she is now with a woman, is not the loving choice.

I have not dis-associated myself from her which is why I thought it was strange that I haven't heard from her. I just said it felt weird for me we still talk....................

Coming out takes a lot of courage because some people are rejected by those they care about the most.  Your friend is engaged and happy with her new partner.  Nobody is trying to "buy" you.  She just wanted to do something nice for her friend.  Maybe you haven't heard anything from her because she senses your discomfort with her new relationship. 

Call her and invite her out to lunch and talk openly.  Girl, you know how HARD it is to find a REAL friend?   She has proven herself to be a true friend to you for all this time.   Don't give that up.

Wow, I was thinking the same thing.......it's time to go out for some sushi and just talk.............thank you so much for your advice.

Trust me....she knows this is weird for you, hell, it's probably weird for her too. But yall girls...you should be there NO MATTER WHAT! You don't have to do anything that you have not been doing...in other words, if you been getting gifts from her then it's all good. But if you feel like there's a situation that needs to be bought up...like the fact that she did NOT tell you about her feelings for women, than you should bring that up, talk it over. Don't lose a good friend because you didn't tell her how you felt!  

I dont want to sound mean...........but I think you are just wrong. If you two are suppose to be "ride or die homies", you need to accept her for who she is. Who she sleeps with at not has nothing to do with the fact that she is your friend....and its really non of your business. I think you are reading too much into the concert, maybe she just wanted to take her home girl to the concert b/c she knew you liked B. If I was her, I would be mad at you as well..........and she prob thinks you are acting different b/c of her new relationship. I really think you are being very immature about the situation.........as long as she is not trying to get next to you in that way WHO CARES!

I guess I did open the door with.........wanting opinions but let me shut it for you real quick. We are ride or die homies for sure. I do accept her for who she is. That's the weird part for me.......we were too close for her not to tell me about her attractions or whatever.......I think a part of me is mad at her too. It was also weird since she was staying with her baby daddy and going through the motions with him and BOOM all of a sudden - I have a woman and moving out............ I have not treated her different and we talk but she knows me as well so she knows I'm thinking.........what is really going on. Partially, I want to ask her.........is it because of the $ this woman has...........I mean idk.

I have a lot of gay friends & I have always been open about where I stand, which is what unfortunately a lot of Christians don't do.  But, I have been through a lot with through thick n thin.  I have been their shoulder to cry and given up my couch or spare room during domestic spats & breakups.

So, you were close before & what she may be doing is just showing her appreciation for your friendship because she's financially able to now or she may be buying trying to buy your continued friendship.  Best thing to do is just talk with her & get a clear understanding on both ends.  Then depending what the outcome is will be dependant upon how you act or approach things in the future.

Thank you! I honestly think I needed to talk this out with some folks that I don't know (no offense). I should probably just talk with her straight up. I have plenty of gay/lesbian family members that I'm around often so that's why I said...........I'm not judging in the very beginning. I hang like wet clothes with my one cousin I think I was just