OT: Dating

You need to send me the site where to do background checks. If I had of done them on some of these negro's I have been interested in the past. I would have saved myself some time and trouble.

i cant and wont even lie..when allan and i became friends he was still married..however there was no getting back together, and he soon after he filed for divorce..i wasnt having that..i was all of the mind of you aint got to be ready to marry me..but you aint gone be married to someone else laying up with everyday..lol..

edited to add..to this day allan reminds me that i said i would never date a married man..and sure enough i dated him till he was divorced...lol..but now he married to me..so it dont matter no mo..

they shood be a ble to date and have get a lil nookie here n there too!!!!

OK here's my take on the situation I was separated with waiting for divorce to be final he had gone his way and I was going  mine. So yes I dated but I let that person know up front that I was separated and divorce was pending. Waiting on signature and ink to dry.

On another note it you are separated but can't give me a phone number or address and I can't come visit you at your place *****H you are still married so I'm not going to be bothered with your Azz!!!!

Married means Married!  Helzs No would not date separated cause they still married!  Yes we would be separated quickly if I found out he was married.  Been there and I want my own stuff.  Never know if the separation is what they needed to get back. Come back when the ink dries. 

Lines of delineation are very clear to me, but then, I'm a no-gray area type of person. 

If I were single and met a man who was separated, my response would be 'holla when your divorce is final and you are actually single'.

As an observer, I've seen too many people get left in the dust (often with new kids/pregnancy involved) where the 'separated' party goes back to their spouse, (and in 1 case they moved onto someone else altogether!) even after all that talk about how their divorce is pending, there is no possibility of reconciliation, etc.  There is just too much risk involved; just not worth it. 

If it's meant to be, it will still be there once their last mess is fully cleaned up.

Oh hell yes separated, legally married, no papers in the court system people should date.  Provide that we are 100% honest about it.

I let men know my situation up front.  They can hang out or walk.  Either way, they know whats what. 

well i am that chick that is separated and has finally started to "date" if thats what you call it. I have been separated for almost 5 years now. he live in one city..i another. are there papers in front of a judge..nope. will there be anytime soon...nope. why, because i am not ready mentally for that. i am working on me. once i have me done then maybe..i have no plans to remarry, and i am up front about the situation. so if a guy aint cool with it..so be it i can respect his decision. but i must note..it also took me dayum near 5 years to get to the point of at least entertaining the thought of dating. as i see it..i am still married and will not be guilty of what broke my marriage. i live in another city so i wouldnt become a resident of chowchilla, ca (women's state prison) and on an episode of snap. to me, getting a divorce is not high on my list. i finally put me as a priority and thats whats coming first finally...me.

however on a flip side..and i know some of ya will be like uhh aint that hypocritical (did i spell that right?..oh well)...i would not date a guy that was in my situation. why?? i know i am a honest upfront chick..i dont have time for games...and for those who want to play em..they get shown the playground. i know its a trust issue. so i am in a glass house throwing big ass boulders.

Man, I can't believe I missed this.  But as you all know I am separated.  My husband and I have been apart for over a year (remember right after my first surgery)  At any rate, I am inclined to say yes.  The divorce will happen in a matter of time.  The delay in us divorcing is not due to wanting to reconcile per se, in as much as it is the financial aspects.  However, there was a time when I endured the take me back conversation I want my family yada yada yada.

Anywho, I do date and hell he is dating the person he dated when we were married so I would guess he would agree.  I do not present my self as single though.  I tell people upfront.  We are getting divorced, no desire to reconcile, but we are not divorced, and its never been a problem.  I would have an issue with someone clarifying later.  I believe in FULL disclosure.