O/T - Piggyback on #1 MM...question for the single folks

Awww, honey.  Don't feel threatened.  Everyone knows that WE are taken.

I actually have and would date somebody who had WLS.  Its funny we just started talking about something and it came u[p.  I was a blabber mouth about my lap band and his mother didn't even know he had it.  So it opened the door for him to tell me.  It was kinda cool and yes we split meals.  He actually had plastics so he was further along then me.  By us both having the  Band we understood each other well.  Again it was kinda cool. The relationship couldn't really work because we both were going through divorces but we remain really good friends.

I am extremely pro-marriage.  I would have fought to the death for my marriage, even though it didn't work I LOVE being married.  Will be more selective next time.

I am a comfirmed bachelor . I am 46 ,never been married and I have no kids . I wouldnt recomend my lifestyle for anyone other than me. I truly believe that people have to do what is in thier best interests and not worry about what others may think.  I didnt expect to be a bachelor but as time grew on I had major problems with finding women that I was compatable with ( meaning it was hard to find a woman with no kids after i reached 30 here in NYC)so I opted to just keep things  simple just leave it as fun and not stress over finding a  woman. I always was honest with women I dated (any woman will say that about me) and just let them know up front that I wasnt searching for a woman any more and that if they wanted to have a good time with me they could if not that was ok too. So far as dating a woman that had WLS I would have to say yes to that. I havent had the surgery as of yet but I have respect for anyone who has already had to go thru that. I think the more a person goes thru in life the stronger they become. That is an admirable trait.  I was a little confused about the anti marriage or pro single question though.  What is an anti marriage person exactly???    In my case I dont want that for myself . But I have many friends who are married and I do want it to work out for them. I have to admit that I didnt read the original post this was based on but I would hate to think that anyone who doesnt desire marriage for themsleves (like myself) would actually be routing against those that want marriage.......anyways thats my 2 cents..........peace

  @ I am 46 ,never been married and I have no kids .

A single brother over 40 with no drama?  If I was back in the Bx I'd be hunting you down.  You are either the best catch in NYC or there's something seriously wrong with ya!    Women must be lining up at your door to convert you to the marrying kind.  There probably only a dozen free and clear straight brothers in all of NYC. 

Back the hell up! 

Remember, he's pre-op.  Meaning, he WILL have surgery and possibly loose skin.  I don't wan't you having to dig for the jewels.  So, keepa stepping.

"There probably only a dozen free and clear straight brothers in all of NYC"


See, I HAD to put my popcorn down over this one....wth???? 

Two things (lol). One, as one of the free and clear straight brothers in ALL of NYC, I'd take offense with that...IF I wasn't so CONVINCED (not concieted-lol).

Second, why is it that when a brother had decided he will be a bachelor that sometimes (not saying that YOU'RE doing this, M.S. W, so don't beat me up) there is that notion that something is wrong with him?  LOL.  

As a single man in NYC, I sometimes get asked, "why hasn't someone snatched you up, yet?" (Shaddap, #1MM, I already hear the remark coming. lol!!) 

Sometimes, you don't WANT to be snatched up; ur busy enjoying ur freedom.  Other times, the women doing the snatching (or trying to) make you wanna RUNNNNNNN in the other direction (I swear, some ppl should come with disclaimers on their foreheads, "F.Y.I..do NOT even LOOK at me. I am borderline psychotic and WILL make you want to bang your damned head against a wall..do yourself a favor and head for the border. That is all..").

Back to the original querry, though, yes, I would date a WLS person.

Yes, it IS less on the wallet when going out to dinner (wait a minute..on food, yes..but on liquor?  Some still drink like damned fish. lol).  And you don't get those annoying questions: "what's up with all the vitimins?" "How come you taking so long to eat?" "Damn, ANOTHER doggie bag?" "Uh, you looking kinda saggy there, man.."

When I first got divorced over five years ago, I was decidebly anti-marriage, saying to myself I was NEVER gonna go thru that shyt again.  As time went on and I had enough alone time to think about it, I realized that I am actually pro-marriage; that I had made some mistakes along the way that are very correctable and would do so in the second one (yeah, there will probably be another Mrs. D'Alexis..if I can find some woman drunk enough to say "I do, dammit!" lol).  At the same time, I wouldn't begrudge anyone on staying single.  I say, "do whatever it is that makes you happy, as long as it doesn't infringe on others."  

lol Dalexis, i liked your response. Sometimes I think women think there is something wrong with all men. I guess that just shows what kinda men they picked in the past. There are women that are prosingle as well that i have meet and  with them the responses are different. I apreciate the back up brotha. Its all good tho. Basically people have to be happy with the choices they make in life and I definately happy with mine. :)

I am just being nosey, when you say that you dont date women with kids, do you mean never had kids or those who dont have kids in the household any longer.  Again, just being nosey.

Hi . You werent being nosey at all. My response was unclear I guess. I was saying that basicly I am pro single. In my case I dont have kids. A long time ago I was with a woman who had 2 kids and we were in a serious relations ship back in the mid 90s. I lived with her and raised those kids. It was a choice I made back then and its a choice that i never would make again is all I was saying. I dont mind dating any woman. But I would be lying if I said I would get into something serious with a woman with young kids. In the situation i was in before the kids werent mine and no child support was coming into that house. I took care of everything yet didnt have the right to discipline the kids the way I would have if they were mine. Being a sort of step parent was not good for me. In addition to that once the woman began to act up(cheat) I had no rights to legally see those kids when i left. So for me it was losing propostion all the way around. I have dated women with kids but as I stated before I am pro single so any woman that dates me has to be doing it just to enjoy the date. My feeling is that men and women with kids are more compatable with each other if they want something serious. I  been there and done that before and i know better than to put myself in that situation ever again. I think comapatibility is the key if someone wants something serious. As for the other part of what you asked it doesnt matter basically if the kids are grown. The reason for that is that I have seen many times where offspring have kids and the next thing you know grandma is raising the kids. So its not that i have anything against women with kids but what i really wanted when i was in my 30s was someone who didnt have any like me. That didnt happen. Needless to say I am in my mid forties now  so its a done deal. In the end I do enjoy being single and it wouldnt be right for me to be anything else. If you ask me  being single is a lot less drama than being in a relationship where you arent compatible with the other person. I wouldnt give up my lifestyle because I have peace of mind and i control my environement.