Dating & WLS

Hi All! I joined a few weeks ago and I enjoy this forum so much! I looked back a few pages and didn't see it discussed so I thought I'd ask.... 

I was just wondering for those who are dating have you shared the fact that you had or that you are planning to have WLS? If so, under what cir****tances did you share the info with the other person? How did they respond? If you didn't do you ever plan to share this info? If so when do you think you will tell them?

Hello....Dates normally start off or end up at dinner 99% of the time. I was always bringing home a doggy bag...so I figured I would tell him so he wouldn't think I was try'n to be prissy. I told my bf at our second date. He was cool with it...didn't matter to him! And he don't monitor me either! I think it depends on the person. If my first date w/him was not that good, I would not have shared such personal info...it's now been 100's of dates later and we cool! 

I'm not involved with anyone special, but I've been generally open about wls from the start.  I don't want food oriented dating or peculiar stares/ comments over the foods I select.  When I'm out with someone he knows I am on my wls diet and I always eat accordingly.  Its just easier that way for me.

I dated AFTER weight loss surgery, I started dating heavily about 2 years post op, I NEVER disclosed my lap band to my dates, only if we started going out more regular is when I told them that I have a band, I only told two guys my current fiance and my ex-boyfriend, they responded very positively to my lap band, they would not know I had a band unless I told them, I just eat very slowly and not too much, he just thought I did not eat much, now my fiance sort of make sure I am ok when we are eating to make sure the food on the menu is band friendly.

I never shared. I did with one that was a big guy, but he brought it up and I shared my story with him just to let him know he's not alone in the weight-loss journey. It's interesting because some men just don't care about what you looked like in the past, but  how you carry yourself today. That's is what attracted him to you. I will mention it to the man I'm dating now since we are in a committed relationship and he wants kids.

Good luck!

~shell

Hello and welcome to BAF.  I told my BF right after I had undergone lipo/vaser surgery on July 2nd which was almost two weeks after we had began to date.  Prior to this, I only told him that I was having minor surgery on that day.  However, I knew I would have to tell him once I did it because of the draining issues (having to have a towel behind/underneath me while I was sitting etc). That evening of the surgery once he called to check on me and wanted to come by and see me, I said there are some things you need to know about me and if you break and run then I will be okay with your decision.  I then proceeded to tell him the type of surgery that I had just had that day as well as about my previous LapBand and TT surgeries and his response was...I am not going anywhere. 

My  dates and now BF has always been supportive.  my wls never has been an issue.

Hey and welcome to the board!!!

I have done both - shared and not shared.  It worked better for me to share because there was just too dang on much explaining or covering up to do. 

Hell - with the scars I now have after plastic surgery - ain't no WAY to avoid 'splainen all THAT, Lucy!!!

Thanks so much for the warm welcome! The replies were great! I was dating someone while before surgery and we broke up shortly thereafter I started talking to someone else and we parted ways but I never told him we are on the road to reconnecting and I feel like I want to tell him. But I will be honest I still feel somewhat embarrassed about having to resort to surgery and I guess maybe I would be concerned with someone else's reaction even though I know that should not matter. I like the idea about non food related dates & I have worked on doing that. SO we will see!!