Need some dating advise, help!!!
Okay, I need some help in knowing what to do. Sorry kinda long.
I am a virgin at dating the man thing game. I was single for 9yrs before WLS and only dated a man a handful of times during this time. Before the nine years I was in several long term relationships with women but I have changed that lifestyle after becoming christian So, I am a virgin so to speak at dating men and don't know how to be or what's acceptable.
Fast forward to now. Since WLS, I get approached often and am not use to the attention. I have been dating a lot this last year but I still don't understand how to be with the fellas or understand them.
Currently, I have been dating this dude for a few months. Things were going well overall. We are really into each other, spend time together, have taken a family trip together the whole 9. My son and him have bonded. His two daughters and I get along. Sex is off the chain, everything appears all good.
Problem I have is every week, he does some disappearing act. We spend Fri-sat together, talk all day Tue-Fri but on sun to Mon, he disappears...phone don't work or some shoit.!!! For the past 5 weeks, something odd has happened. I will only tell you of one incident.
I work for the boxing commission and was on my way to work a fight. He begged me to go with me to see what I do while working. I said no at first, but agreed. I drove my car. It was a 2 hr drive. We arrive late and out of gas so he offers to get gas and park the car. Told me he would be in after that. 1 1/2 goes by, he ain't back, no call. I call, text no answer. I call again, he answers and I hear club music in the background. Ain't no music where I am.
He tells me he bumped into a jazz club and decided to have a drink. Long story short, he never showed up to the fight. He met me outside after it was over (4hrs later) and things there was nothing wrong with this. AM I TRIPPING TO BE UPSET? He says he is a grown man and can change his mind cause he has choices
.
2nd question, he does these unpredictable, disappearing things every week. Says I am controlling because I think you should communicate with me if you decide to change plans mid stream. Especially if we agree to do something or be somewhere.
My dilemma is I have four other guys who are interested to date me and this guy has messed up so much. I really like him but he is like Dr. Jackal Mr. Hyde. I was waiting, trying to give the benefit of the doubt but I can not accept this behavior. There is more to this story but it would take too long to explain. I am not the type that likes to date more than one at a time but....
I need help, should I drop his $ss even though I have strong feelings for him and explore the other interested parties or work through it. What y'all think?
I am a virgin at dating the man thing game. I was single for 9yrs before WLS and only dated a man a handful of times during this time. Before the nine years I was in several long term relationships with women but I have changed that lifestyle after becoming christian So, I am a virgin so to speak at dating men and don't know how to be or what's acceptable.
Fast forward to now. Since WLS, I get approached often and am not use to the attention. I have been dating a lot this last year but I still don't understand how to be with the fellas or understand them.
Currently, I have been dating this dude for a few months. Things were going well overall. We are really into each other, spend time together, have taken a family trip together the whole 9. My son and him have bonded. His two daughters and I get along. Sex is off the chain, everything appears all good.
Problem I have is every week, he does some disappearing act. We spend Fri-sat together, talk all day Tue-Fri but on sun to Mon, he disappears...phone don't work or some shoit.!!! For the past 5 weeks, something odd has happened. I will only tell you of one incident.
I work for the boxing commission and was on my way to work a fight. He begged me to go with me to see what I do while working. I said no at first, but agreed. I drove my car. It was a 2 hr drive. We arrive late and out of gas so he offers to get gas and park the car. Told me he would be in after that. 1 1/2 goes by, he ain't back, no call. I call, text no answer. I call again, he answers and I hear club music in the background. Ain't no music where I am.
He tells me he bumped into a jazz club and decided to have a drink. Long story short, he never showed up to the fight. He met me outside after it was over (4hrs later) and things there was nothing wrong with this. AM I TRIPPING TO BE UPSET? He says he is a grown man and can change his mind cause he has choices
.2nd question, he does these unpredictable, disappearing things every week. Says I am controlling because I think you should communicate with me if you decide to change plans mid stream. Especially if we agree to do something or be somewhere.
My dilemma is I have four other guys who are interested to date me and this guy has messed up so much. I really like him but he is like Dr. Jackal Mr. Hyde. I was waiting, trying to give the benefit of the doubt but I can not accept this behavior. There is more to this story but it would take too long to explain. I am not the type that likes to date more than one at a time but....
I need help, should I drop his $ss even though I have strong feelings for him and explore the other interested parties or work through it. What y'all think?
God is good all the time!!
Gastric Bypass Dr. Troy La Mar 03/12/08
Anchor Cut, Extended Tummy Tuck Dr. Pearlman D. Hicks 12/17/10
Starting weight 265, Goal Weight 130, Current Weight 145.
Gastric Bypass Dr. Troy La Mar 03/12/08
Anchor Cut, Extended Tummy Tuck Dr. Pearlman D. Hicks 12/17/10
Starting weight 265, Goal Weight 130, Current Weight 145.
To be quite honest with you dear, you are getting ******literally and figuratively. He is only behaving in this manner because you allow him to do so, and chances are (which you already know this)..any man that disappears without cause is doing something he ain't got no business doing. If the sex is good and thats all you want, keep at it and drop him as you see fit. But DO NOT confuse this for a relationship that is going somewhere when he is showing clear signs that he is not the one. Live, date around, have fun...but take it for what it is and don't try to 'force or make' him into the guy you want him to be. There is no way in hell I would let a man 'disappear' for hours like that and then have him tell me 'he has a right to change his mind'? Child boo, that boy is playin games and because he thinks you are dumb enough to take his crap, he is gonna continue to do what he does. So...you have a choice. You can accept this and play the game better than him, and then DROP him like a bad habit once you find someone else...or stick with him and keep letting him play hide and seek. You decide. Men are like clothes...its hard to find the perfect outfit, so sometimes you gotta wear whats in your closet..but that dont mean you gotta stop shoppin!!
Good luck!
Good luck!
RNY 9/24/08
Surgery Weight - 344.4
Revision to DS 9/22/10
Surgery Weight - 231.0
Plastics 4/14/11
Surgery Weight - 211.0
Current Weight - 179.8
Goal Weight - 160.0
I am staring at Ambition, shaking hands with Success, and smiling at Determination - What are YOU doing? *smirk*
"They ON IT cause they WANT IT!"
Surgery Weight - 344.4
Revision to DS 9/22/10
Surgery Weight - 231.0
Plastics 4/14/11
Surgery Weight - 211.0
Current Weight - 179.8
Goal Weight - 160.0
I am staring at Ambition, shaking hands with Success, and smiling at Determination - What are YOU doing? *smirk*
"They ON IT cause they WANT IT!"
Rhonda,
EXACTLY! Now whether people choose to act on what they know..THAT is another story all together......
EXACTLY! Now whether people choose to act on what they know..THAT is another story all together......
RNY 9/24/08
Surgery Weight - 344.4
Revision to DS 9/22/10
Surgery Weight - 231.0
Plastics 4/14/11
Surgery Weight - 211.0
Current Weight - 179.8
Goal Weight - 160.0
I am staring at Ambition, shaking hands with Success, and smiling at Determination - What are YOU doing? *smirk*
"They ON IT cause they WANT IT!"
Surgery Weight - 344.4
Revision to DS 9/22/10
Surgery Weight - 231.0
Plastics 4/14/11
Surgery Weight - 211.0
Current Weight - 179.8
Goal Weight - 160.0
I am staring at Ambition, shaking hands with Success, and smiling at Determination - What are YOU doing? *smirk*
"They ON IT cause they WANT IT!"
Well, you are correct. I didn't really see it at first but I do now. Thanks for your reply, I will take your advise and live , date, have fun and DROP his $ss.
God is good all the time!!
Gastric Bypass Dr. Troy La Mar 03/12/08
Anchor Cut, Extended Tummy Tuck Dr. Pearlman D. Hicks 12/17/10
Starting weight 265, Goal Weight 130, Current Weight 145.
Gastric Bypass Dr. Troy La Mar 03/12/08
Anchor Cut, Extended Tummy Tuck Dr. Pearlman D. Hicks 12/17/10
Starting weight 265, Goal Weight 130, Current Weight 145.
(deactivated member)
on 8/20/09 9:56 am
on 8/20/09 9:56 am
I'm with the other two that have responded. He is taking advantage. And please know that someone can only treat you as bad as you allow them to. The last time I would have seen him is the time he dropped me off at work only to go to a club when he was supposed to meet up with me.
Goood luck.
Goood luck.
You are right. My problem is I try to give the benefit of the doubt but I knew it then and should have ended it that night. Thanks lady.
God is good all the time!!
Gastric Bypass Dr. Troy La Mar 03/12/08
Anchor Cut, Extended Tummy Tuck Dr. Pearlman D. Hicks 12/17/10
Starting weight 265, Goal Weight 130, Current Weight 145.
Gastric Bypass Dr. Troy La Mar 03/12/08
Anchor Cut, Extended Tummy Tuck Dr. Pearlman D. Hicks 12/17/10
Starting weight 265, Goal Weight 130, Current Weight 145.
Peep the pimp game mama - niccas only do what YOU allow them to do. This mofo got another slimmy or wife and you are side dish. Now it's on you whether you continue with the bull**** or walk away - notice there's no option for this mutterfuckker to change - cause they don't. I believe like shooting a pit bull when it first bites a human - that mother****** done tasted weak blood - he ain't neva gonna respect you proper - gotta cut em loose.....
ETA - hole up
did I read this ***** took off in YO car???!!!!!!
AWWWWW HEYYLLLL TO THE NAWWWWW BOBBY!!!!!!
Girl - treat yourself to 4 vibrators AND a bullet, some astroglide and a liter of vodka.... CHEAPER than that **** with his ass and BOUND to be more satifying!!!!
**grumbles under breath** I WISH a nicca WOULD leave me w/o a car for 4 hrs..... HELL NAWWWW what his # is? I'll call his ass FOR you and tell him what the **** I* gotstasay!!!
ETA - hole up
did I read this ***** took off in YO car???!!!!!!AWWWWW HEYYLLLL TO THE NAWWWWW BOBBY!!!!!!
Girl - treat yourself to 4 vibrators AND a bullet, some astroglide and a liter of vodka.... CHEAPER than that **** with his ass and BOUND to be more satifying!!!!
**grumbles under breath** I WISH a nicca WOULD leave me w/o a car for 4 hrs..... HELL NAWWWW what his # is? I'll call his ass FOR you and tell him what the **** I* gotstasay!!!
I don't just have issues, I have subscriptions! I'm saving on the newsstand price....... 
Check out my dating mis - adventures at: http://1macdatinggame.blogspot.com/
On August 20, 2009 at 5:24 PM Pacific Time, #1 Mack Mama wrote:
Peep the pimp game mama - niccas only do what YOU allow them to do. This mofo got another slimmy or wife and you are side dish. Now it's on you whether you continue with the bull**** or walk away - notice there's no option for this mutterfuckker to change - cause they don't. I believe like shooting a pit bull when it first bites a human - that mother****** done tasted weak blood - he ain't neva gonna respect you proper - gotta cut em loose..... ETA - hole up
did I read this ***** took off in YO car???!!!!!!AWWWWW HEYYLLLL TO THE NAWWWWW BOBBY!!!!!!
Girl - treat yourself to 4 vibrators AND a bullet, some astroglide and a liter of vodka.... CHEAPER than that **** with his ass and BOUND to be more satifying!!!!
**grumbles under breath** I WISH a nicca WOULD leave me w/o a car for 4 hrs..... HELL NAWWWW what his # is? I'll call his ass FOR you and tell him what the **** I* gotstasay!!!
*scratchin my head* um - as far as the vibrators ... www.shoperotic.com ... get acquainted. there are other ways to amazing ******s.
(deactivated member)
on 8/20/09 9:34 pm - ~Somewhere in~, PA
on 8/20/09 9:34 pm - ~Somewhere in~, PA
Just fell out laughing at you MM this morning --- tell it girl! 
------------------> ETA - hole up did I read this ***** took off in YO car???!!!!!!
AWWWWW HEYYLLLL TO THE NAWWWWW BOBBY!!!!!!
Girl - treat yourself to 4 vibrators AND a bullet, some astroglide and a liter of vodka.... CHEAPER than that **** with his ass and BOUND to be more satifying!!!!
**grumbles under breath** I WISH a nicca WOULD leave me w/o a car for 4 hrs..... HELL NAWWWW what his # is? I'll call his ass FOR you and tell him what the **** I* gotstasay!!!
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