OT What would you do?

Morning BAFers,

I know it's a little early for something so heavy but I was just wondering what you would do.

I have a play cousin who I've known all my life, our mothers were bff's.  I consider her to be closer to me than my blood relatives. 

Over the years she's done and said some things to me that made me feel like pure shiot.  On top of that she never apologizes she just makes excuses and makes it seem as though I am too sensitive.  Every time she does something to offend me she has the audacity to stop speaking to me and when I finally call her after some time she tries to flip it like she was under the impression that I was mad at her and she figured that I would call after I get over it.  The funny thing is that I never got mad at her, the things that she did never angered me as they did hurt.

I bend over backwards to help this girl, she's helped me as well but never with the same intensity.  Whenever there's an event or whatever either she doesn't invite me or on the occasions that she does it always feels like an afterthought.  IDK maybe I expected too much of her.

This morning just felt like my breaking point.  Without going into detail it by far was not the worst thing that she's done to me but it's just the straw that broke the camel's back, it actually brought me to tears.

The crazy thing is that I've cut people off for way less but I just feel like we were better than that.  Right now I'm just at the point of "how much shiot am I going to allow her to shovel on me"?

At what point do you say that you've had enough of not being valued as person/friend?
I'm contemplating writing her a note explaining my feelings.  I'm really torn up about the prospect of not having her in my life anymore (our daughters are the same age) but I'm equally tired of being treated as though I don't matter.

So my question to you BAF.....What would you do?  Would you just cut your losses and walk away?  Or would you get some of it off your chest in a note?  I'd rather not speak face to face because it will surely result in an argument and I wouldn't be able to get my point across.

I'm almost embarrassed to post this because it sounds juvenile but this is weighing heavy on my heart.

(excuse my rambling, my thoughts were all over the place).

Umm - you already know THIS reply is about to be brutal - so don't trip or try to be sensitive with ME, aiight???

Now - from what YOU yourself have said about this biotch (and Imma call her that cause you won't) she's sucking postitive energy out of your life and time without ANY return value.  Obviously you have a different definition of your relationship with her than she does.  It's time to reconcile that account record and ZERO her ass out!!!!!

Why the heyl would you expect the biotch to change?  Just like NICCAS, biotches don't change their stripes.  And her actions have escalated - with whatever happened today, she's showing you she can **** over you WORSE than the last time.  you really wanna stick around to see what she can come up with after today???

I keep tellin yall to do the bucket of water test on mofos in ya life - if the net effect of the mofo leaving your life would be the same as the hole left in a bucket of water if you put your hand down to the bottom and removed it - LET THEY STANK, FREELOADING AZZES GO!!!!!!

Just cause yalls MAMAS was bff's don't mean YALL will be. 

^ 5....Damn I ain't got to say nothing after that

Gurl - my damn therapist got me deleting mofos left and right outta my life - that ***** and her exercises are tha TRUTH!!!!!  LMAOOOO

I went on hiatus from therapy over the summer I think I need to go back.  Nuccas trying to make me unstable. lol

Lol, thanks Mack

I wouldn't expect anything less from you and you're right I have to let it go, it won't be easy but I'm tired of eating shiot.

I'm still trying to grasp the water bucket thing (I'm a lil slow but I'll get it). lol

I will tell you from experience - final decisions are easy to implement - it's the coming to them that's the hardest. 

I held on to bullshiot for a long time too - once I let it go - I ain't have no problems NOT looking back..... keep ya head up!!! 

You're right.  Once I decide upon something that's it!  The turmoil is in the indecisiveness.

I just told somebody the same thing today. No quite like you said it but the same message nonetheless.  Sometimes I think that people feel you are obligated to keep someone in your life because they have always been there. Or they are family, or whatever else the reason is. NOPE. Cut them off, step over them and keep on rolling. Yeah that crap hurts. But don't be a sucker and let them get to you the next time.

There's nothing juvenile about it.  You value the relationship.

Although I'm not one to keep people in my life that do not value me, this  a little different because of the multi generation family ties.  I would in this case send her that letter.  Let her know how you feel now and how it reiterates the type of relationship you've had over the years.  

Once the balls in her court, you can better evaluate what you will reshape this relationship to be going forward.  With family ties, she will likely always be in your like in some respect.  However, you can take control of the type of relationship it will be from now on.