OT - Tales from the BBQ

Ayy yo,

I said to myself on the drive in this morning that I wasn't going to do this but ya know...  I've lied to myself before and it wasn't such a big deal, so why should now be any different. 

I attended a party over the weekend, a backyard party complete with soulfood, likka, and sunshine.  Yum-my!  Of course, once the other invited guests began to arrive all of the real drama unfolded.  The lack of etiquette and decorum that some ninjas, posing as responsible adults and guests, showed was in full effect.  I say be yourselves but don't tear the people's sh*t up.  If you feel you are about to tear up **** - go home!  I'm sure they'll understand.  The host whispered to me that over half of the invited people in attendance, clearly stated beforehand (i.e. swore up and down) that they were going to bring "something."   Well they did - either they brought the sweat from inside their hands together with the hosts hands when they shook hands or they brought their friends and atleast two other unaccounted for people to help eat.

WTF 

One guest, clearly stated that he was going to bring his world famous ribs.  Great!  Now, unless his ribs were famous for not showing up at all then I can't see how he could call them all that famous.  One mofo rolled up and bragged and boasted how he brought the host some Patron.  Not Tequila, not likka, but Patron.  That dayum Patron bottle sat by his braggin' and boastin' azz all day and left with him when he did at the end of the night.  I guess the bottle of Patron didn't like it's new owner.  Granted it was hot this past Saturday but the invitation said, "Backyard Party" so you'd think that people would know enough to take their Reading Is Fundamental big azzes outside to the backyard right?  Uh uh...  Some of those bastids just rolled up like police cars and parked their big butts right up on the couch inside the house, never once thinking about going outside.  Some of them must've thought to themselves obviously, "Fugg da food outside, lemme just rummage through dese cabinets over chere in the kitchen and see what else dese ninjas got to eat...  Hmmm... a sardine sammich sounds tasty right about now... Yeah!"  

We gotta do better folks.  Are there any other party and/or BBQ horror stories out there that you wanna get off of your chest?  Any "no-brainers" that you think folks should follow when they go to a party at other peoples house?  Holla at ya boy. 

I don't really do the BBQ party thing - I don't trust other folks cleaning standards or cooking style - ESPECIALLY post WLS.  I have seen a few TOO many (as if even one is okay) roaches crawl INTO and OUT OF the warming oven.... watched mofos sneeze and hack over food and too many nekkid fangas on things that ain't make it to THAT mofo's plate.... so count me out

As for me HOSTING something - please.  Ain't NEVA had a party at MY crib - I am a hermit - the only ninjas that seen my place were there to do WORK (yard or other 'bush' work ) 

 @  I don't trust other folks cleaning standards or cooking style

Well I guess you've never eatened anything industrially packaged, canned, or out of a "mom 'n pop" restaurant because if you heard some of the dayum horror stories to come out of there then you'd either grow your own or abandon that attitude with a quickness.

  Hey - ignorance is BLISS, my main man.  As long as he ground up TIGHT, I'll eat that roach....... be like 'oh - they have added ground pepper flakes to the croutons'.........

  @ the only ninjas that seen my place were there to do WORK (yard or other 'bush' work ) 

Right...  Right...  You want 'em to whack sumpen, but it ain't weeds...  I feel ya.

whack it, smack it, flip it, turn it around... oh noooooooooo!!!!

LMAOOOOOOO   now that was a corny BBD reference.......

I keep my gathereings small and intimate.  I hear what Ms MM is saying, that's why stick to my little circle of friends.  Good clean friends.  No one stays inside because:
1  all the music and good conversation is outside
2  the only food you will find at my house was bought for the bbq and its all outside too

Because I stick to my people, who brings what is no issue.  I always plan a menue that provides everything.  What my people bring is extra.  I avoid having stangers at my home and going to homes of strangers. 

So I guess Thanksgiving dinner at your house this year is out of the question huh?  Dang I was so looking forward to the invite.

I really like your #2. 

All I want to know is if the invite says that the bbq starts at 3:00 why ninjas neva show up until after dark like ****roaches?

Then they complain that "there ain't no food up in here"

Please - why are you expecting 'pink' adherence to ninja rules???

you know good and dayum well if you wanted mofos there at 3 - you gotta tell em 10am.......