Dating: Signs it's taking a nose dive?

OK....I know...we are on a roll...with the dating theme but i have to tell you so far I have had a few doosies when it comes to the dating scene. As David Letterman would say, "Here is the list of the Top Things to let you know that the date is taking a nose dive". I'll start and you ladies and gentlemen can all add to the list! 

1.) When he says that he would love to share a "sacoozi" with you. Ya'll...he meant a jacuzzi! I figured this out after a brief question and answer game.   And hell naw...I am not about to share a sacoozi with your dumb azz..  The fact that you even bring it up on a first date is enough to let me know we are on different pages. Hell what if I slip and, fall in the sacoozi...yo azz would prolly try to do the heimlich maneuver instead of CPR...leaving me dead, dead, dead! No thanks...Next!

2.) Same guy: Yes...I love to travel...when I ask him if he likes to travel...he says no but he would like to visit Jamaican one day. I am sorry...call me picky but I need you to be able to spell and properly pronounce words. Its call the Embarrassment Factor in dating. Don't say stuff...that will leave me wanting to bury my head in the sand at a dinner party. Yeah...I made that shiot up...LOL! but its true! Now...let me go eat my scherrimps...its lunch time!


Okay...do you all have any?

 

OOH OOH I got one!!
You know there is no chemistry WHEN:

1) You try to send him a text message that gets returned saying 'the user is no longer in service'- then he calls you that night from his MOMMA's house wanting to stop by.  When you ask about the phone he says (words flow from his mouth like butta) "Man, that Sprint bill was gettin HELLA (wtf?) high! I had to let them cut it off and get with this Boost Mobile!  But its cool though, Imma get it paid cuz I dont want it to mess up my momma credit (WHOA..what??).  She gonna put somethin on it on Friday.  So whats up with you? We kickin it 2morro nite or what?'  ***** NOOOO!!  Mind you I just found out this fool is 41 yrs old! He LOOKS 33....but he is 41, gettin his phone cut off, and has stuff in his momma's name.  Nothing about that SCREAMS 'lets have a relationship'

2) Guy meets you at Applebee's during Happy Hour cuz he is in the area and wants to see you.  He doesn't order, just looks at the menu and says 'Man, when I get some money, Imma order this right here, this ish looks good as hell!'  Wait...thats a $9 burger...bruh u mean to tell me you are THAT broke? WOW....NEXT!!!

LMAO!  These are two different situations with the SAME man! Uggh....bless his heart, he neva had a chance with me!  He won't stop callin now though....broke/irresponsible men are SO not attractive.  But every time I think about it I just cant stop laughing!!!

Sad  , but funny . 

@ You try to send him a text message that gets returned saying 'the user is no longer in service'-


Yep...that crap happened to me too. We were talking on the phone and the line goes dead. I try to call back thinking its just a connection issue....no service message. So I immediately know that its a prepaid phone. What kills it is that he has the nerves to call back like FIVE days later...talking about he had to get more minutes. Nicca please...it took you five days to get more minutes. NEXT!

"broke/irresponsible men are SO not attractive."

But...  but...  But...  I got plenty pride and belief in myself.  Boop Boop Be-doooom...    Oh who am I fooling?  You right, Dawg.  You right. 




                                                                     Dang!

 


    Ayy yo, Sexxy Thang...  Hold up, Thickness.  Where you going, Boo?  Let me holla atcha... 

Hmmm - it's a wrap for ME when......

1 - you let me know that you aren't self supporting (i.e. living w/a relative OR have a roommate)
2 - you let me know that you have more than 2 kids and you think their mother's are crazy by asking for child support, that 'you gon get over on them by quitting my job'
3 - you shift in your chair one too many times and mention an 'itching' that just won't go away......
4 - you show up dressed in inappropriate attire for your age group (i.e. you 40+ and think a color coordinated FUBU outfit was REALLY the way to go)
5 - I bring up the subject of politics or any intelligent topic and you say 'oh I don't mess around in all that - that's for WHITE folk'


And I have been known to walk SMOOTH out of a 'short stay' room when the draws come off and Mr. Vienna sausage is at attention..... NOPE - I like Hebrew National only - mofo need to be built and packin like a SLAVE for me!!!!!

**going back to corner now**

  @  'oh I don't mess around in all that - that's for WHITE folk'

Dayum!

MM! You and your "short stay" antics have me cracking up! I am with you on the Vienna tip though... 

ETA: He at least needs to forewarn me...and have all his other skills in order!

Wow....my niece just called me to talk about a guy she just met off Black People Meet. She called him last night and he told her that he had to call her after 9:00pm...it was 8:50pm and his minutes weren't free...

  oh yea - that reminds me of why I use *67 when I call mofos!!!!