Are Black Men MORE prejudice when it comes to dating regarding skin color?

Ok, before anyone jumps the gun and start a flame war -- this is from my OWN observations and experience and some of my friends experience too, this is just what a WHOLE LOT of sistas have experiencing including myself and I am "almost high yella" and barely pass the paperbag test...LOL

Piggybacking off of MM post regarding online dating, I had not been back out there dating in a LONG time and when I got out there I found brothas to be very surprising and VERY interesting and regarding their TYPE of woman that they were looking for.

Last year I dated a brotha from Columbus, GA, and he flew up to spend the week with me, after we had talked for a few months, and we shared pics of each other, and when I picked him up at the airport the FIRST THING came out of his mouth was "oh you are a bit darker than your pics",  -- I was like...I oh NO he dident go there!! now depending on the season, I tend to turn a darker brown in the summer and I can be very light in the winter, but my BODY is Always LIGHTER, I just tend to tan in my face and arms, but my legs and body are HIGH YELLA  a more golden brown...LOL.

Now this freaked me completely out since that is the last thing I would hear from a "brotha", questioning my skin tone, when he was brown himself, I thought it was physicall features that MOST men are attracted to rather than the shade of someone skin. This also brought back the "dirty secret" that many blacks have about the "paper bag test". And history of being prejudice among each other.

I have heard of other sistas saying the brothas DO NOT DATE OR WANT TO DATE darker skinned sistas, I thought it was a myth until I experienced it first hand. Can you brotha's explain this to me? For me, I have NO PREFERENCE in skin color when it come to a man, in fact, I LOVE a tall and DARK handsome man, but again I like a TALL LIGHT-SKINNED OR WHITE man TOO! SKIN color has never mattered to me, it was all about HOW the man looked ans his features that turned me on rather than shade of color.

Since I have dated both white men and black men; I find it funny how black men look at women in general for attractiveness, the white men that I dated mentioned that when they are DATING WOMEN they DO NOT LOOK AT COLOR,  they focus on the FEATURES, AND BODY SHAPE AND HAIR  rather than SKIN COLOR. I guess this would answer the question that MANY WHITE MEN TEND TO FAVOR DARKER SKIN black women MORE than BLACK MEN DO because they are not focused on their color but rather their features like lips, eyes, nose, etc.

Where as MOST not all black men are MAINLY focused on SKIN COLOR, HAIR and BUTTS..lol as Lil Wayne best put it...he wants a LONG HAIRED THICK RED BONE.

Another myth ALL white men do NOT like very thin women, they don't like obese women either, but all the white men I dated mentioned they like women with meat on their bones, they mentioned the MEDIA portrays these skinny women and "women" tend to try to be stick thin like models when in fact MOST MEN BLACK OR WHITE DO NOT DESIRE THIS....

And by the way Virgina, Atlanta and Minneapolis are the capital of JUNGLE fever with WHITE men crazy about black women for those interested in interracial dating.....it USED to be MORE black men with white women but I just read recently that MORE black women in the last 2 years have started to date and marry MORE white men since there ARE more single white men available than black men, black women have began to be more open to dating other races if their dating pools is narrow....let me know your thought s on all this...I am out for awhile I will come back and comment, just wanted to know your take on black men's PREFERENCE and the black women have started dating white men in DROVES....

  I JUST responded to double Ay on this tip!!!!

As a fellow light skinned sista - I gotta say you are on the money - I am so sick and tired of bruhs telling me my skin tone makes me attractive 'I love a yellow bone' or 'Hey Red'......

Sometimes I feel like they see a light skinned sista as a 'prize buck' or trophy - which is BS!!! There's plenty of dark skinned BEAUTIFUL sisters with MUCH better skin that me! 

Now for me - I WILL say - I am not immediately physically attracted to very dark skinned bruhs - can't explain it, I just ain't.  I'll go deep caramel and that's about it - however - my last two serious relationships have been with deep dark skinned bruhs - so I ain't hatin! 

I DO feel, however, that white dudes don't 'feel' a light skinned sista - I have YET to be approached by a white dude.......

 

 

Well...NOT all black men are color struck, some will date a beautiful women REGARDLESS of skin color, but again, that dates back to slavery and our painful history is that if you get a "high yella black woman" she IS the trophy bride, a black guy told me straightt up what brothas want...he said that MOST brothas want a "trophy" wife whether he is in love with her or not and then want a "peice" on the side and this is when I REALLY started to expand my dating horizons...lol...but again I have friends that I grew up with in Atlanta that married darker or brown skinned women and they are still happy and in love after 20 years, so I don't think ALL black men are color struck....thank god

I'm a dark skin woman. My preference is a dark skinned handsome man. However, the light skinned brothers are the one the one that find me the most attractive. They always nick name me  "chocolate" something... Now when I date a dark skinned brother, they never discuss skin tones at all. But when I date a light skinned brother they always seem to comment on my dark beautiful skin tone, all of them through out the years always feed me some what a similiar   line or two about , how they love dark skin women..and every time Im thinking blah blah blah...Heard it before. Light skin men always seem to have a preference about skin tones to me. Its so funny, my cousin's family for example, all of her cousins look doggone white, however, all of their women are my color or darker. From the oldest male to the youngest male in their family. Now my family we range from deep brown to a light brown, The males in my family have a variety of skin tones they choose to date, not one specific color category. Lol.

You ARE a beautiful black women, and I agree MOST light-skinned and white men tend to be more attracted to darker skin tone black women, I think when someone has self esteem issues they tend to think the lighter the better.

Unfortunately this might be somewhat true...I have a "caramel" complexion and I love it and guys tend to love it also...Never had a guy complain about that..But I do think that guys prefer light/brown skin woman over dark which is ridiculous because I have some beautiful dark skinned friends and family members...It is weird...In philly the preference for many women I know love dark/purple men...My ex was dark skinned and so is my fiance but complexion is no big deal to me...I know a guy who LOVES dark skinned women...I guess it depends.

Your Avatar is truly Gorgeous indeed!

 It amazes me that this is still an issue in our community. Well, I'm dark skinned, and I have no preferences, though my friends have pointed out that I've never dated a light skinned brother. I have had white men approach me, but I never make the distinct between them being attracted to a lighter skinned black woman or a darker skinned black woman. Too me, if you're black you tend to have the same or very similar experiences when dating outside the race, it's only within our race do we still deal with this light skinned vs. dark skinned crap. 

As for the brother's preferences, it's just that, their preference. We all have our preferences and there's nothing wrong with that. 

ETA:  Oh, and if you want to see my head spin and my mouth spit out green stuff, say to me that "you're pretty, to be dark skinned". Those are fighting words right there!!!! Nothing makes my blood boil faster!!!!!

"you're pretty, to be dark skinned : I HATE THIS and "You have a pretty face".