Let's share! Most embarassing WLS related moments........

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!  Laid on the floor, and then went back.  Priceless!!!!

Let me tell you about them silent farts.  One time I ate something fried and my stomach started tripping.  It was gassy feeling so I thought I would just slip a little tiny fart, take off the edge and wait til I get home and let it go.  Girllllll, I was in the elevator, went to let a little out and oh my God, something else came out.  I was so embarrassed!!! Luckly no one with in the elevator with me.  I ran out the building like I stole something and jumbed in my car.

Needless to say, them silent farts, DON'T DO IT lessen you close to a toliet.  I had to drive home with the shoit and it ain't nothing nice.

I have never made that mistake again.

That's called a "shart" not a "fart"  LMAO

Yeah, those silent ones are deadly.

At first I didn't think that I had one but oh man how soon we forget.  I was craving a turkey bacon BLT so I got one on whole wheat toast.  I ate half of it on the train and about 3 stops away from my destination my mouth starts to water.  I'm like oh ish and the rocking train wasn't making matters any better. 
I had napkins in my bag so I start to spit into the napkins. (I disgusted myself)
I was just praying Lord let me make it to my stop please.  People were watching me.  Finally I had to get off 1 stop away. 
I tried to play it cool and waited for the train to pull off before I started dry heaving and spitting behind a trash can.
Then my pants began to irritate me so I had to unbutton them and sit down on the bench with open pants sweating and looking flushed. 

I'm sure the few people who passed by thought that I must be pregos.  I don't think that I've had a BLT since

We were having a celebration at church for something (can't remember what) and everyone brought food.  So after the service was over, we all gathered in the VERY SMALL lobby of our church to eat and fellowship. 

At this point, I was in between sizes and my cheep azz was not trying to buy any new clothes too soon, so I was holding onto some of my things that really needed to be put in the give away bag or the trash!

Without thinking, I popped a meatball....a dried up, over cooked, made from cheep azz meat, meatball that someone brought and..... bam....it got stuck...slime time.  My mouth filled with slime so fast, I knew it was moments to explosion.  I turned and ran for the washroom and because my clothing is too big.....my underwear starts to slide off of me as I run down the hallway!  So there I am, in front of the whole congregation, in a small room, mouth full of slime and trying not to on everyone, running with my underwear around my knees!  Yep...priceless!!!

Oh boy... I just had surgery a month and a week ago and my first stuck moment was so ruff that I have no desire whatsoever to go through it again...
We were at my in-laws house (so you know I had to be extra flyy) I have already lost 40 lbs so I think I am the shiot. got my new hair and my sexy mama pumps on... and drunk a$$ Uncle Willey walking around pushin his dangone fried catfish in everybody face... after about 5 refusals of this fish ery'body in the house, including this drunk dunce a$$ dipstick side-eyeing me... You know how they think "that high yella heffa thank she better n ery'body round here" so I take the piece of fish take a bite and show the polite Mmm this is good face... thinkin this would be enough and I could make a get away and ditch the fish filet... but this country Bama stands there until I bite and swallow 3 pieces of this death fish... (I ain't gonna lie- it was good as heyul). I sat for about 10 more mins and the wet mouth starts and it feels like somebody ( )head butted me in the sternum... Hubby knows the deal from my strained look, so we start to make the great escape... Here come this fool Uncle Willey- Beer in hand, arms wide open hugin' all up on me... Well now I know fried fish+WLS+funky beer smelling drunk a$$ Uncle Willey= puke on the in-laws front porch.... Dayum I should have just aimed at him

Well me and my daughter, grandaughter were at Red Lobester eating lunch. As we were leaving my grandaughter said"mimi your pants are falling down" I said no, mimi pants are getting to big. Just as I said that my pants fell down right in the RedLobster's parking lot. As the traffic went by and there I am trying to pull up my damn pants. Good thing I had those "good Drawers" on becuase I would have been even more embarrased had I wore the I ain't do a damn thing today why do I need to put on my good drawers day....

I guess I got off easy compared to these stories.  Here's my one previously aired humiliation. 

Post Date: 6/24/09 9:37 am

Titled: Depends on me???

First in the cardio room this morning.  In the home stretch with the intensity of the bike turned way up.  Five minutes left.  Gritting my teeth, straining, straining... because damn I have to pee sooooo bad!  I debating should I risk getting wet and stinking up the place or finishing my routine. 

I made it through dry, but now the challenge is getting to the potty in time.  I'm unable to sprint to the ladies or keep my knees together as I hobbled.  I was a sight to behold.  Depends is what I needed today.  Damned all this water we drink!

Three times my body betrayed me this morning.  First I stunk up the place on the eliptical.  Every time the machine adjusted its level, my cheeks separated and let flow hurricane force winds.

Last on this stretching aparatus, I held the bar and leaned back, compressing my belly, and stretching my back and shoulders...  and trying to hold in the pooh that compressing my belly seems to have stimulated. 

Depends on me???  I'm off to Walgreens. 

Ha!!! have plenty of those..lol, I had just gotten a fill adjustment and took my morning pills and drove to work and by the time I got to the building my band started to tighten up to the point to where I was literally slimming and I had a meeting of all things I was SO embarrassed, I ended up having to go back to my surgeons office to get some saline removed