Let's share! Most embarassing WLS related moments........

Alright - we have ALL had a moment or TEN when something WLS has us running, ducking, dodging or otherwise trying to get out of the public eye while our body totally decides to go on a rampage!!!!!

Me - I have two - one time in the office I was hungry in the afternoon, went begging around and a chick handed me a Pop Tart....... I ate it then 10 min later started a meeting w/one of the supervisors that reports to me...... 5 min into the meeting, I was sweating like a ho in church!!!  I tried to soldier on, but dude looked at me and said 'you need me to call somebody?'    I have NEVER touched another Pop Tart.........

the other time - I was out on a business trip at dinner - I lost my head and drank a NEW drink, ordered NEW food AND had dessert....... my pouch promptly told me 'you have exactly T-minus 25 seconds to find the nearest restroom stall, we are in final countdown to dry heaves BIOTCH since you ain't learnt NUFFIN!!!'  Chile - I am so glad those stall walls were clean when I put my face on em - nothing like a cool wall when you heavin....... LOL!!!!

what's YOUR story?????

i sharted in the stirrups.  there's really no coming back from that.  lol!!

....wait, wait.....I can't breef... OMG!!! 

I was at a dinner party and wanted to eat but the band was not having it and my food was stuck. I needed to  but the speaker was up speaking and I did not want to walk across the crowded room full of people while he was speaking.  Thank goodness for the huge cloth napkins they had or else it would have been clean up at table 4.  I promised myself then that I did not care if President Barack Obama is speaking (and I love him to death), I will get my a$$ up and make the mad dash for the restroom. 

Background Info
In Lap-band World we use the term "sliming" (slime-ing).  It's how we describe what's happening in our upper "pouch" so that food will break down and enter into the lower "pouch".  Essentially, it's the mucus doing its thing. 


The Moment
I haven't eaten a steak in 5 years, but on a date at Ruth Chris (long before the WLS discussion was necessary), my grown ass decided I didn't want to be a bandster for the night, and ordered prime rib.  A few bites in, I slime.  No 10 second warning, no preemptive hiccup to let me know I might have a problem . . . just steak and slime all in my mouth mid sentence.  So, I grab a napkin and rush to the bathroom without a "pardon me", or even "hold up for a sec".  Get to the stall and commence to heave until every bit was gone.  Needless to say, I didn't have time to grab my purse . . . walked out of there looking like a raccoon and feeling like I'd been punched in the gut . . . not my best moment.

I have had several moments, most centered around rice or ice cream.  I remember this one time I was on my way to work.  I drank my usual am protein shake made with 2% milk.  I gets to the train and am riding.  About half way there (why is it always half way there???) I get the bubble guts and butt puckers...I know now from experience, DO NOT PASS GAS so I hold it.  I start sweating bullets, getting hot and cold flashes and my mouth starts to water (damn, I know what is next),  thank God I held on to I got to Union Station.  I ran a 100 yard dash through the train terminal like OJ Simpson use to do through the airport and made it to the bathroom.

You should have seen me straddling the toilet then turn around and  from the smell, then back to the .  No more milk or ice cream for me.  Funny, sugar does nothing too me. 

 @ butt puckers!  oh man do I know THAT feeling!!!! 

Mine was at Costco.  My greedy ass went through the store just eating up all those dam samples and lord they had my favorite brownies and I went back to that stall 3 times and washed it down with some gross ass nectar drink.   All of a sudden BAM!!!  I was sweating and panting and dizy so I laid my ass on the cement floor and found out it was cold oh it was just what I needed,  I put my cheek on that cold floor and laid there for like 40 minutes.  People kept walking by asking if I was ok, and Becca was like she is just sick LOL. 

The manager came over asking if we needed paramedics. 

The kicker is after I got to feeling better my fat ass went back over there and got 2 more of those brownies and had them later that night.  LOL.

They all have to do with silent farts in public..............nuff said cause you know they are the worst kind.