If you are not with your child's other parent come in..

My 17 year old cousin has a 9 month old by a 19 year old (that's an issue in itself) well today on FB she says that she is so tired of "baby daddy drama" I respond and say basically you gotta work it out because as long as the kid is on earth you'll always have to deal with each other. I then see three responses from folks who do NOT have relatinship with their kid's father and kids are ****ED up emotionally behind it due to the fact that momma and daddy couldn't work so that mean that the kid(s) were casualtiy of their love war.

Being a kid of divorced parents that bitterness fighting and acting a fool by your parents is very stressful and you wonder "why can't they get along and put their childish BS aside for the common good...me?" well I came up with that as a teenager lol but anywho...Do you think you owe it to your child IF both of you want to be in the child's life to try to keep it civil for the sake of the child or is it really all about you and what you want or don't want?

You don't necessarily have to deal with other because my children's father chose to walk away from them and has no contact with them at all.  I actually believe they may be better off as a result of it.  I wasn't bitter when I chose to leave and divorce him, but he was.  So, I think he thinks that he is hurting them or me by cutting off contact.  He is not realizing that he is hurting himself in the long run.  IF both parents do decide to remain in the child's life then I believe that it is in the best interest of the child if you are civil. 

Being divorced for a couple of years now after being married 15 years with a 11 year old son. I never say anything bad to my son about his dad (dats a NO-NO). Eventhough his dad and I don't really converse (his dad's choice) which is fine with me. When it comes to our son we have conversation regarding him and come to mutual ground. Argueing and that other BS is beyond me. I have no time for it. So, yes I do whatever it takes for my son to b happy and far as me and his dad's communication. 

 I respond and say basically you gotta work it out because as long as the kid is on earth you'll always have to deal with each other. I then see three responses from folks who do NOT have relatinship with their kid's father and kids are ****ED up emotionally behind it due to the fact that momma and daddy couldn't work so that mean that the kid(s) were casualtiy of their love war.

IMHO....Not always true.  My son's father and I have been divorced since my son was 4 months old.  He has had no contact with him...ever, and he isn't ****** up in the least.  (He's now 19 yrs old)

To add a little background.....when we started having problems, he would threatened that if I left, he would not have ANY contact with us because he would not stand for being a part time dad.  That worked for a little while because I didn't want my son to grow up without his father.  Well, I finally got fed up and left and he held true to his word.  He has never seen his son. 

Throughout my son's life, we talked extensively about this because I felt sooooo guilty about it.  I was raised with both parents and I felt my son especially needed his dad.  Luckily my father stepped up to the plate and him and my son have always been very close.

I guess it all depends on the people involved.  I feel my son was MUCH better off without his dad in his life. 

****ducking from the flames behind this one!

Yeah ditto to what Kim just said...  and I am right behing you ducking the flames

Ditto to Kim and Faith.....


I guess PRESIDENT Obama is ****** up because he never had a relationship with his daddy.

No flames from me to any of you. 

Children know when they are not valued.  If daddy does not want to be there, tell him to just make sure he mails the support check on time.  A kid that feels like a burden to dad is worse off than a kid without a dad.  IMHO of course. 

MY question was IF the other parent wanted to be in the child's life. If the parent not in the home chooses to not be in the child's life or for the safety of the child (drug abuse, mental, emotional abuse) the other parent isn't there then I understand and respect that.

I'm talking about if the decision was made that yall will raise your child together do you put the craziness aside for the sake of the child and still manage to be civil or does it always have to be drama?

I'm so sorry, I mis-read.  It's a touchy subject and I kinda went 'there' with it.  I meant nothing against your response on fb.

Honey chile please...trust me I understand when someone "opts out" and not wanting to deal with "that" drama! its aiight lol