OT for today: Divorce - should it be an option?

So - we all know folk get divorced in a heartbeat these days and it makes you wonder if you can really commit to someone you're with for the long haul if you see everybody splitting up and getting re-hitched quick than a mug!

Back in the old school - divorce was the scarlet letter - no one wanted to do it and folk worked hard to keep their bond together and were generally cautious about who they married in the first place (not that people aren't at all today - but you get where I am going) and I wonder, do folk even care about divorce being the thing you SHOULDN'T consider going into marriage - it's like a return policy on a blender - you are cool putting down the month because you know you have an 'out' if you don't like it - but does that make you work less at keeping it together?

*I* have never been married, but when and IF I do - ain't nobody going nowhere.  I'm treating it like Death Row - you ain't escaping with your life!  LOL  and that's why I am still single!  ain't found a ninja that can tow that line that long with me...... yet. 

So - what say you, Fam???

Hey Mack,

You are so right ~ folks go into marriage these days looking for the exit. Divorce is not an option (in my opinion); I've been married for almost 14 years and my advice is stick, stay and pray! Folks marriages would be better if we quit looking towards that escape route in case of fire. The truth is....you are going to have ups and downs.......trials and tribulations in life not just marriage.....it makes it easier to get through with a partner.
Although marriage is not always lovely; I love being married! I was married at 18 so I was young but have learned alot. The one thing I stand on is........my commitment is to God first - then my husband.

God Bless!

you get daps from me - no way I could have gotten married at 18 and that joker still be around - I have changed TOO much!  LOL

It has come with consequences too but overall we grew up together! Thank goodness!

Hell yea it should be an option, granted it shouldnt be the first choice.  You shouldnt just divorce without first working on the issue but no one should sit in a marriage for 20-30 years unhappy and just there to be there. I was married for close to 20 years, let my exhusband tells it, he was unhappy for half of those years, but stuck around to see our only child out the house.  To that I told him, sucks to be you, you should have made your move and went and found your happiness which by the way now, he is more unhappy now remarried than he was back then.

LMAO@ sucks to be you!  You are crazy!!!!!

Sounds like he is victim of 80/20 - mofos got 80% of what they want at home but come across a 20% biotch and jump thinking it's the real deal, but get over there and find out they only got 20 and they should have stuck with 80.......

I am in Pastor Di mode today...

Yes it should remain an option.  Although, IMO, I think some people opt to get divorced too quickly without even attempting to resolve a possible situation. 

For ME, I had given my ex about 13 years (7.5 of marriage and 5.5 of girlfriend/boyfriend) I made the decision at the age of 29 to divorce him.  He had gotten some of my teenage years and all of my twenties and I would be damned if I allowed him to rob me of my 30's and beyond.  There were multiple reasons for my divorce.  He had not changed since the day I met him. He still wanted to hang out with the fellas everyday and spent no time with his sons, which is why it is no suprised after the divorce he has deserted them and has no contact with them.  Not to mention I found out toward the end of the marriage that he had cheated the entire time that we were married so he was not only hanging out the fellas...it was the ladies too.

I am much older and wiser now.  Not for one minute did I think that 10 years would have passed by and I would still be unmarried.  You know I had this plan thinking I would be married again by the time I was 35. NOT.  I am much more selective (I don't like the word picky) now. I have zero tolerance for certain things.  So, I have attempted to carefully screen my relationships since then. 

I believe the relationship that I have now is probably the healthiest relationship that I have been in a long time.  I would like to be married again someday but if the cards do not fall that way, then I am happy to say that I am content being by myself rather than dealing with any and everything just to say that I have a man. 

Leaving Pastor Di mode now...

Question - did you go into the marriage thinking he would change and the things that bothered you would be taken care of?

Yep back then silly me thought that! You know the typical "I know I can change him" mentality.

Gotcha.  Nuff said.