My sista.... why you so MEAN?

I am with you on the hermit because I was once there myself.  I also feel how you feel because IMO people used to not just walk up to me and start a conversation the way they do now.  Maybe my growing confidence shows and the low self-esteem no longer rears its ugly head.  Anyhoo,  I like it. 

the winning experiment at my daughter's science fair this year was submitted by a 4th grader, whose hypothesis was "will people smile when smiled at?" conclusion was 64% of people smiled when smiled at the other 36% didn't.

listen, some women are chronically unhappy people, they were miserable asses before you walked into the room so you're adding to their misery simply by being there, let's call them 10%

some people have insecurities that are heightened by your presence (they think that you think) you are [            ]er or [                   ]ier.  let's call them another 10%

nobody in group #3 wants to show the vulnerability and independence it takes to break from her pack's opinion and welcome you.  let's call them yet another 10%

group #4 is so accustomed to being defensive in their every day lives that even unintended it comes across as exclusion when it's just idle curiosity.  3%

the final 3% are women who would've welcomed you had you not committed a newbie no-no, such as flipping your luxurious perm over your shoulder or starting by introducing yourself cordially to a man.  there are rules LOL.   

there's your 36%

as for me when i'm most myself i'm puppydog friendly especially to women b/c i wanna remove any perception of threat. <--- not said in conceit, i mean i want them to know i'm cool if they cool.  if not, i'm cool with that. 

Not sure what category this puts me in however, I have repeatedly said the one thing I love about my job is I am the ONLY black person besides the brother in the mail room.

I think that has allot to do with why I am still here almost 10 years later because of me not wanting to work around other "sisters".  In the past there was always some "mess" involving sisters, not that people of other races don't do it however, for some reason WE seem to be more vocal with our opinion(s),

Oddly, I bond more with my sisters from BAF then women I have know for years, and I think that comes from us having more in common. I wish I could be like my mother she has at least 4 or more women BEST FRIENDS she has been friends with at least 30+ years. These are her ride to die friends, friends if one need a kidney they will all step up to see who can assist. Do realize these individual not group friends.

Honestly, I sometimes think it has to do with time, just like it is hard for some to find a good man/woman it is the same for some to find good friends.

Interesting point Rhonda - I will have to co-sign and say that the reason I am still at my job NOW is because there are no sisters for me to have to deal with.

I remember two jobs ago when I worked for a dark skinned sista - she HATED my GUTS!!!  I had to work the 3pm to 12am shift - this heffa would call a meeting at 10am and not only DEMAND I be there but wouldn't let me leave early for my shift!  I lived an hour from the job so I ended up working basically 10am to 12am on those days.  THEN - if I EVER had a idea or suggestion, she was evil eyeing me all the time.  I started running my ideas through her counterpart - he would present them as his own and she would be all over them like they were the best thing since sliced bread....... HEFFA! 

Rhonda,

I'm like your Mom.  I have always had "ride or die" Sistah friends.  I grew up with 6 from age 5 into early adulthood.  When I  formed LNN years ago there were 13 of us.  We are all of a certain type of woman that does not do the crazy Black woman Mess.  We love openly, unconditionally.  We argue, fuss and fight with each other and for one another.    So after growing up in a huge SISTAH HOOD - I don't know that kind of ugliness and I do my best to stay away from it. Now...can a new sistah enter that circle.  I think not.  Not because we would not accept her but because after the years we have put in together she would just not understand us.  We have encouraged other women to start their own sista circles - and they have.

I can honestly say I LOVE my sistah friends and have learned over the years HOW to be a Good Sistah.

Forget that, why is the only other person of color there in the mailroom???  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!   LOL. 

 

 

LMAO @ DAlexis.... It is what it is.... 34 attorneys all of different races EXCEPT black.

Morning MM!!

I read the same article and it had some kinda affect on me as well.
I at first thought I'm so glad that I am not and I don't associate with "those Kinda women".
Then I caught myself  - OOOOPS there by the grace of God go I.

I actually believe that many of our sisters are angry, bitter, hurt, unfriendly, loud, obnoxious, guarded because it had been ingrained in them generationally.  How many bitter Black Woman grew up listening to Bitter Black women and just assumed that is how we should be.  Think about the things that Your Momma has passed on to you.  I think we pass on crap to our daughters when they see us act ugly with our sisters and brothers.

Although I Isolate myself most often (I stay to myself and keep my own counsel) - I am a very giving, open and loving person.  I don't do the sistah stare, I give everyone the benfeit of the doubt off the top, will compliment and assist where ever needed.  I am not one to walk in the room and take center stage but I will speak and embrace - if it's not returned - well that's their problem not mine.  I love my fellow sisters unconditionally and try my best not to give off the kind of vibe that I don't want.  I try to be of good spirits when dealing with others at all times.  Now there are those that can bring out the worse in anyone - those I ignore and keep it moving.  Nothing like and ugly spirit to bring the ugly out of me.

I feel you Madame!  Ain't nobody like my Mama when it comes to the cold shoulder!  LOL  she walks around mean mugging to make SURE no one speaks to her!  LOL  no lie - so I try not to be like that.....

I just put this question up on my Face book because these biotches here are about to make me..  I have no problem with complimenting a women black or white. If I see a sistah and she is doing it ....heck it gives me hope. I just don't get it. Why not be proud of the sistah because her swagger is on point or she owns a home and is only 30, I don't know. And its not like we were raised to hate the next man so it just in the person I personally think or at least I wasn't raised to hate on the next man.

I will say that I have began to feel the alienation weird (maybe I never paid it any attention my head wasn't high enough) and it seems to come from the people I least to expect stylist,co-workers some families members, but I will say it doesn't stop me from reaching out because in the end your the one that looks like a butt head.