How did WLS change your marriage?

Hello
BAF-  I am having the VSG 7-28-09 and I was wondering how WLS changed your marriages.  I am happily married, but I have heard many horror stories about what could happen.  Could you please share your personal stories about marriage after WLS.

Surgery - 01/17/07

Left Husband in GA - 12/28/07

Divorced - 05/15/08

Living my life like its golden

My tail should be in bed but just wanted to add my 2 cents.  I've never been married but I've had friends who were married and had the surgery.  My friends who were in marriages that had problems did tend to eventually leave their husbands due to finally having the confidence and courage to leave (their words not mine).  Now my friends who were happily married before continue to be the same after.  I pray that helps.  My divorced friends stated that with them losing weight, their husbands really showed their insecurities and in the past they would have just dealt with it but they now have a new lease on life and don't really take crap from anyone.

On a side note, I pray you have a safe surgery on 7/28

I plan to post the same ? today!!! I'm happily married for the last 5 yrs and I to have heard some pretty bad stories!!! Can't wait to read some of the answers to the question!!! RNY(7/15/09)

The general rule is that if you are happy (TRULY) before, you will be happy after.  However - ANY problems that exist are usually the catalyst for change - the relationships that go bad were bad before, but both sides were just hanging on for no good reason. 

I hope you have an uneventful surgery and speedy recovery!!!  Keep us posted! 

I have been married for 12 1/2 years. We had a strong marriage before and it is still going string today. I had surgery 3 years ago. He was scared for me but supported my decision. He told me how he loved me just as I was and I believed that. This decision was for me. Nothing changed. He is still as attentive and loving and faithful as ever.

I personally know of a couple where after having surgery, she left her husband. She gained more confidence and found a 'life' after surgery that she had not had before. He was heartbroken. I thought they had a solid marriage before, but you never truly know everything that goes on between 2 people.  

Hope that helps.

Thank you , That is very helpful.  My husband is very supportive and our marriage is strong but at time has its weak spots.  Thanks again for you honest y and support for my upcoming VSG!

 I met my husband after WLS but I was still about 40 pounds heavier than I am now.  He is my biggest fan and supporter.

I was married pre-WLS. Met my husband at about 220 and climbed up to 262 in a year. Yea, he wined and dined me and I soaked it all in lol. You know the expression.....a happy wife equals a happy husband, well it couldn't be more true for me. I always thought I looked good pre-op but now my outside matches what I feel inside. Like Sue said, he's my biggest supporter and has made himself a part of my journey. We're going for a long bike ride together followed by a picnic for lunch today. I was hoping that I wouldn't become a WLS marriage statistic and I'm pleased to say I made it! Or should I say WE made it.

Things that I made sure to do was
-make him a part of my journey, from the very beginning
-lots of ego stroking (lettin him know that even though I'm gettin more attention he's the only man  for me)
-try to stay level headed, its easy to fall into the trap of being too vain (notice I said try LMAO)
-introduced him to all my new WLS friends. He hangs out with us often. I like him to be a part of all my circles
-make him healthy meals in addition to the meals I make for myself. We have different diets and I wanted to make sure my change in diet didin't affect him too much
-right now I'm working on not askin him everyday if I look skinnier! LOL It's been 8 months and I swear I've asked him that a thousand times!!!

But all in all, if you have a strong marriage and respect for each other pre-op you will be fine post-op.

Thank You Shani,

Those are some really good tips.  I believe my marriage will continue to stay strong, I just needed to hear some positive stories too.