support from friends and family

has anyone had problems with getting support from friends and family? if so how have you delt with it.... i'm getting torn down by the most important ppl to me in my family....  it hurts ya know?! yea i have my mom's support but she lives in nc and im in ny..... my father and the rest of my family is up here and they dont support me at all.... i've been struggling with my weight since i was 12 and did EVERYTHING!!! nothing sticks... i'm doing this for my health not my looks, because i know im a beautiful person inside and out... but support would be nice...

When I was considering the procedure three years ago, I had opposition from most of my family because they thought I didn't really need it...all I needed to do was exercise more.

So when I decided to have the surgery, I told a few key people and I told the rest of my family after it was over and found them to be supportive then. 

I would say don't place yourself in a position where you are soliciting their support if they are not ready to give it to you. If you know they are not going to support you, then they already have all the information they need about your wls.

Hold on to the support you get from Mom and others because that will definitely strengthen you.

Hey Icesess,   Thats the exact reason i have only told a few people. a couple at work so when i go out for a couple of weeks they will know and my best friend who will be there with me when i am finally able to get surgery scheduled.  I havent told my mom, i havent even told my twins...i dont want nor need the negativity (not saying they would be..but lets reduce the chances).  if you have one or two other people than your mom to support you, then you will be fine. dont explain nothing to the rest until after the fact. you have to do whats right for you. and if you are like me and have tried everything under the sun including dumb diets like the cabbage diet, the water with lemon and cyanne pepper...then you are making the right choice.

EVERYBODY i knew hated the idea when they first heard about it. Eventually, most of them approached it like "since he's doin it anyway, let's wish him the best". 

i decided early in the process that this surgery was about me and not them.  so i knew i wasn't gonna get much support other than people givin me a half hearted "good luck with that".

i was blessed. My mom & one of my sisters actually suggested that I have wls and they didn't know that I was actually contemplating it.   I have had negative comments in the past from friends when I was losing weight on my own (which i gained back) so I only told select people.  Although negative comments wouldn't sway me, this is hard enough with support, so I wasn't given naysayers their chance pre-op.

Remember this is for your wellbeing & your health & they're not living your life for you & vice versa.  Find a wls support group in your area & use this board as your support.   If your family comes around geat, if not oh well.

Hi Icesess,

I just had surgery about a week and a half ago and I only told a few people and none of them where family.   I believe you do need a good support system but mines included my fiance, 3 girlfriends (one who already had WLS), my boss (who has a daughter that had WLS), and ALL MY OH FAMILY.  I will eventually tell my family, other friends and those co-workers who get up enough nerve to ask but negavitity is just not what I needed before making this life-changing move.  One side of my family has not struggled with weight at all and the other side believes that being fat just runs in the family. Therefore, I assumed that most would not understand my decision, and I might be wrong but I don't regret not sharing it in advance.  Spend this time doing all the research you can about WLS so that when you do speak on it you will be armed with the knowledge you need to counter the arguments you are sure to get. 

I did what I thought was best for me.  You should do the same. This journey is about you -- not what others think of you.

Be blessed and best wishes on your journey.

i really appreciate all the advice... this really helped me alot... thank you guys for the support!! It feels good to talk to ppl who know exactly how i feel and what im going through!!!  God Bless and love you all!!