What's going on...
Dear Journal, 
I'm a real rude bwoy. Ya nah wan romp wit me.
Yeah I had another bad day on BAF the other day. Sheesh. Can you believe it? It hasn't even been a year yet that I've been on the friggin website and I have been in more fights on OH than a dayum troubled teen with no friends at a new school in a new state. I must say though that I'm a little surprised but thankful that the entire BAF Mobb didn't just jump into the fray and start throwing "bows" at my head. Perhaps most of them have realized that I do fight back and that I fight extremely dirty. I go at it like a dayum monkey
in the zoo. I talk ****; I swing ****; and I fling poo!
But enough grandstanding...
They just had a power shift at my J-O-B and they left an old-timer out in the cold. Ya know the ones, the kind that have been on the job since they laid the first few bricks for the building. That kind. See this older woman used to be the manager of my department and she recently got a demotion. No boo.
No hiss. In my opinon she needed it. However, the frumpy heffa can't seem to let her managerial attitude go. Don't ya just hate that? She walks by my cubicle repeatedly to see what I'm doing and I just stare her down like, "***** I'll jump up and slap the livin stank-stank outta you if you don't leave me the fugg alone." Would you believe that it doesn't even phase her? Those old biddies are tough, Yo. She just keeps on walking by anyway but she won't look at me when she does. Smart!
Soon she has her good buddy, another older woman who sits directly behind me, walking back and forth by my desk to try and report some stuff on me.
Her MO is pretending that she's repeatedly going to the bathroom all the time with a bad bladder. This occurs about every 5 mins. But game recognizes game. I got a trick up my sleeve for dat azz too. Every now and then I just raise my protein vial high in the air and pop off one of my patented smoke-filled silent but deadly human stank bombs and then go as far as to fan the fumes with a manilla folder in her general direction. 
Soon I hear choking and coughing behind me and I just smile my azz off.
And the moral to the story, kids -- Don't start none, won't be none!
I was stressing out the other day at the J-O-B and I guess I didn't practice the right kind of mental judo necessary to help me put in a full days work bustin up the schiff-a-robe for Mr. Cholly. So when I submitted a post of a joke on BAF and it was taken waaaaaaaaay out of context by one of the members I just said, "Fugg it!" and proceeded to remove my azz from the scene entirely.
I think I need a vacation though and a six pack of some ***** wouldn't hurt either to help set a brothat straight. Man o' man, the other morning I woke up with an erection that could pierce the denim comforter that my mom made for my bed. It was so sturdy and rigid that it should've had a stamp at the base that read "Made in the USA." I can't carry something like that around with me for too long ya know. I might put somebody's eye out. Toccara take me away!
My weight-loss is really coming along. Believe it or not, Journal, the only thing that I've bought really since I had WLS is some better fitting drawers. My original ones were some tight-assed boxers in size 3x that were fading fast around the bands and in the butt-crack area. I remember them well because I had to sit a certain way when I wore them or my happy stick would play peek-a-boo like I was back in high school. Nowadays, I'm always rockin a fresh pair of XLs (in both boxers and tighty-whitey style) and a brotha just don't know how to act over here.
I mean they support "me bum" like an underwire bra on a busty woman and they also lift and seperate "Deez Nutz" so that I don't accidently squash them with my thighs when I sit down. Thank you WLS! Thank you!
I also bought a smaller pair of jeans too I must say. I'm not one for trying on things in the stores. I'm the kind of brotha that once I lace up my boots in the morning, I ain't taking them off for nobody until dayum near time to go to bed. And if I'm at a woman's crib and she's talking that, "Take your shoes off, Big Daddy... Get comfortable..." stuff, but she's acting like we ain't doing nothing sexually related!? Trust me, Yo, I'm mad comfortable. Cause if I have to take of my shoes at her place then we'd better be doing sumpin quite "xesual" later or she'd mess around and run back from the bathroom only to find me humpin' the mess out of her brand new frilly pillows or trying to xes-up the cushions in her couch. And trust me those stains ain't coming out no time soon.
But I digress...
The jeans I bought were just a hair too small when I bought them (you know us brothas like our gear kinda loose on us but not too loose... Nahmean?
Of course you do.) So I put those britches in the closet for about three weeks while I continued my workout. I pulled them out and found that they were too big. 
I was like "Dayum! Another wow moment alert!"
I spent $21.99 on a pair of jeans that I can't even wear and I didn't try and rock them anyway like I had to do back in high school. I must be growing up because the old me would have just tied a big-azzed country string around the waist and kept it moving like Jethro on the Beverly Hillbillies. Money can't buy happiness you know but it damn sure can get you a decent wardrobe. What's in your wallet?
Lately, I've been reaching out to all of my "friends" on my friends list. That was really a unique experience for me. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I would encourage all of the people on OH to do the same because you'd never know who could really benefit from you just reaching out to them and letting them know that you really care about them based on the connection that you two share with WLS. Some of the friends were so happy that I had contacted them, until reading their responses I imagined them doing the happy dance that elderly people do, you know just patting that one foot repeatedly and half-smiling and half-bouncing in their seat when their children finally come to visit them in the nursing home.
Others, I can tell, were quite cautious and very curious as to whether or not this was just an empty blanket email to all of my friends on my friends list. I guess these friends were deep in their detective training at the Police Academy and a letter like this just intrigued the hell out of them to the point of calling in a detective to get to the bottom of the sinister plot.
I swear the paranoia thing runs so deep in the African-American community until some of us just can't even relax in regards of getting what we called back in the day a "bread and butter" letter. OMG!!! 
Someone wants to know how I'm doing with my WLS tool and they took the time out of their busy schedule to ask!!!!! 
The horror. 
But not to worry I do have a few friends who just happen to be white too. Hell, I love all people - black, white, tall, short, fat, or skinny. However, I do admit that I do have a problem with midgets. Why? Because I don't like somebody breathing on my fly unless they're serious.
Until next time, Journal.
Double_Ayy!
I'm a real rude bwoy. Ya nah wan romp wit me.
Yeah I had another bad day on BAF the other day. Sheesh. Can you believe it? It hasn't even been a year yet that I've been on the friggin website and I have been in more fights on OH than a dayum troubled teen with no friends at a new school in a new state. I must say though that I'm a little surprised but thankful that the entire BAF Mobb didn't just jump into the fray and start throwing "bows" at my head. Perhaps most of them have realized that I do fight back and that I fight extremely dirty. I go at it like a dayum monkey
in the zoo. I talk ****; I swing ****; and I fling poo! But enough grandstanding...
They just had a power shift at my J-O-B and they left an old-timer out in the cold. Ya know the ones, the kind that have been on the job since they laid the first few bricks for the building. That kind. See this older woman used to be the manager of my department and she recently got a demotion. No boo.
No hiss. In my opinon she needed it. However, the frumpy heffa can't seem to let her managerial attitude go. Don't ya just hate that? She walks by my cubicle repeatedly to see what I'm doing and I just stare her down like, "***** I'll jump up and slap the livin stank-stank outta you if you don't leave me the fugg alone." Would you believe that it doesn't even phase her? Those old biddies are tough, Yo. She just keeps on walking by anyway but she won't look at me when she does. Smart! Soon she has her good buddy, another older woman who sits directly behind me, walking back and forth by my desk to try and report some stuff on me.
Her MO is pretending that she's repeatedly going to the bathroom all the time with a bad bladder. This occurs about every 5 mins. But game recognizes game. I got a trick up my sleeve for dat azz too. Every now and then I just raise my protein vial high in the air and pop off one of my patented smoke-filled silent but deadly human stank bombs and then go as far as to fan the fumes with a manilla folder in her general direction. Soon I hear choking and coughing behind me and I just smile my azz off. And the moral to the story, kids -- Don't start none, won't be none!
I was stressing out the other day at the J-O-B and I guess I didn't practice the right kind of mental judo necessary to help me put in a full days work bustin up the schiff-a-robe for Mr. Cholly. So when I submitted a post of a joke on BAF and it was taken waaaaaaaaay out of context by one of the members I just said, "Fugg it!" and proceeded to remove my azz from the scene entirely.
I think I need a vacation though and a six pack of some ***** wouldn't hurt either to help set a brothat straight. Man o' man, the other morning I woke up with an erection that could pierce the denim comforter that my mom made for my bed. It was so sturdy and rigid that it should've had a stamp at the base that read "Made in the USA." I can't carry something like that around with me for too long ya know. I might put somebody's eye out. Toccara take me away!My weight-loss is really coming along. Believe it or not, Journal, the only thing that I've bought really since I had WLS is some better fitting drawers. My original ones were some tight-assed boxers in size 3x that were fading fast around the bands and in the butt-crack area. I remember them well because I had to sit a certain way when I wore them or my happy stick would play peek-a-boo like I was back in high school. Nowadays, I'm always rockin a fresh pair of XLs (in both boxers and tighty-whitey style) and a brotha just don't know how to act over here.
I mean they support "me bum" like an underwire bra on a busty woman and they also lift and seperate "Deez Nutz" so that I don't accidently squash them with my thighs when I sit down. Thank you WLS! Thank you! I also bought a smaller pair of jeans too I must say. I'm not one for trying on things in the stores. I'm the kind of brotha that once I lace up my boots in the morning, I ain't taking them off for nobody until dayum near time to go to bed. And if I'm at a woman's crib and she's talking that, "Take your shoes off, Big Daddy... Get comfortable..." stuff, but she's acting like we ain't doing nothing sexually related!? Trust me, Yo, I'm mad comfortable. Cause if I have to take of my shoes at her place then we'd better be doing sumpin quite "xesual" later or she'd mess around and run back from the bathroom only to find me humpin' the mess out of her brand new frilly pillows or trying to xes-up the cushions in her couch. And trust me those stains ain't coming out no time soon.
But I digress...
The jeans I bought were just a hair too small when I bought them (you know us brothas like our gear kinda loose on us but not too loose... Nahmean?
Of course you do.) So I put those britches in the closet for about three weeks while I continued my workout. I pulled them out and found that they were too big. I was like "Dayum! Another wow moment alert!" I spent $21.99 on a pair of jeans that I can't even wear and I didn't try and rock them anyway like I had to do back in high school. I must be growing up because the old me would have just tied a big-azzed country string around the waist and kept it moving like Jethro on the Beverly Hillbillies. Money can't buy happiness you know but it damn sure can get you a decent wardrobe. What's in your wallet? Lately, I've been reaching out to all of my "friends" on my friends list. That was really a unique experience for me. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I would encourage all of the people on OH to do the same because you'd never know who could really benefit from you just reaching out to them and letting them know that you really care about them based on the connection that you two share with WLS. Some of the friends were so happy that I had contacted them, until reading their responses I imagined them doing the happy dance that elderly people do, you know just patting that one foot repeatedly and half-smiling and half-bouncing in their seat when their children finally come to visit them in the nursing home.
Others, I can tell, were quite cautious and very curious as to whether or not this was just an empty blanket email to all of my friends on my friends list. I guess these friends were deep in their detective training at the Police Academy and a letter like this just intrigued the hell out of them to the point of calling in a detective to get to the bottom of the sinister plot.
I swear the paranoia thing runs so deep in the African-American community until some of us just can't even relax in regards of getting what we called back in the day a "bread and butter" letter. OMG!!! Someone wants to know how I'm doing with my WLS tool and they took the time out of their busy schedule to ask!!!!! The horror. But not to worry I do have a few friends who just happen to be white too. Hell, I love all people - black, white, tall, short, fat, or skinny. However, I do admit that I do have a problem with midgets. Why? Because I don't like somebody breathing on my fly unless they're serious.
Until next time, Journal.
Double_Ayy!
Man o man..all I have to do is have a CRAPPY day...come here...read YOUR post...and I'm good til the next week! 
You know you have some GREAT writing skills...seriously.
Thanks for making me laugh..OUT LOUD!
DD
You know you have some GREAT writing skills...seriously.
Thanks for making me laugh..OUT LOUD!
DD
I choose to love myself, live life to the fullest, and encourage others to liberate themselves!
Double_Ayy you had me going back and forth from to 
did he just say that. See that's why we need you around here. Glad you're back.
WHEN LIFE KNOCKS YOU DOWN TO YOUR knees, JUST REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE IN THE PERFECT POSITION TO PRAY. HW 395, RNY 4/2/07 345, Lowest Weight 248, Revision to Distal RNY 1/13/09 278,Revision to DS 10/15/10Most Active
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